The Warring States of NPF - Asshat's Spectacular Shenanigans!

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- - Asshat's Spectacular Shenanigans! (http://www.nuklearforums.com/showthread.php?t=38960)

See if you can catch one of these...

http://fc08.deviantart.net/fs20/f/20..._by_Neslug.png

EDIT: Also I found this sprite list but it doesn't seem to be the one we are using sadly.

Yeah, that's an entirely different Topaz, unfortunately. And no, there is no sister version to this game.

See, you can tell because that Scrapish thing almost looks decent.

The concept has potential, anyway.

this game has lame hot-dog puns and amazing gameplay twists like substituting trees with little kids that I can only assume you kill to get rid of.

I didn't see that until just now. I blame you for this shit.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Locke cole (Post 1083680)

hot-dog puns

MotherFUCK.

That's just so fucking bad. I mean even I think that's bad, and I did that episode full of ice puns and goddammit. i was holding up relatively well, but that realization did a lot of damage. I'm not certain I'll be able to make it past the first badge before my head explodes.

fucking hot dog, that's not okay

Quote:

hot-dog puns

...Oh. Oh god. What.

Why would you even do that? D:

I'm totally missing the hot-dog pun?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Smarty McBarrelpants (Post 1083734)

I'm totally missing the hot-dog pun?

Clifford is a Fire-type who just so happens to look like a dachshund (the most hot-dog-looking of all breeds of dog.).

And its Pok�name is "Mutton."

Guess it's a sheepdog.

OH I was expecting better-which is probably a mistake with this game. I saw the mutton and was like "Well it's meat... not hotdog met though..."

I actually found the full pokedex, but I think I'd rather wait and see people's reactions as they show up one by one. You get sort of deadened to the pain after 50 or so.

The pain won't go away. I'm only 19 Pokemon in as of the end of Chapter 3, and I want to cut my eyes out forever.

I'm expecting this to end in a way similar to the original ending of Conker's Bad Fur Day: With Token killing himself.

Alternatively, he beats Topaz, sets it aflame, beats Red, sets him aflame, and then commits suicide.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Locke cole (Post 1083446)

Oh god.

I don't think I want to know what HM01 is in this region.

The scary thing is if they had any kind of true evil in them, it would still be Cut.

Since they're probably not so much evil as stupid, it'll probably be "Skare" or something. :raise:

Quote:

Originally Posted by BardTheFifthLightWarrior (Post 1083814)

Or it ends like Quartz, with Token in an insane asylum all along.

Chapter 3: Noise Annoys

Somehow the Gym Leader's reaction fails to surprise me.

I bet he gets bothered by Rocket grunts all the time trying to edge out a little glory, with their Poison and Dark types, and Stan's just like "Ha ha, what? Are you high?"

Of course he has yet to be properly acquainted with you...

Oh, my God. I seriously laughed no less than five whole minutes when the "Chav" popped up. I'm still giggling as I type this. My cat came rushing in and started rubbing against me because she thought something was seriously wrong. :D :D :D

TOTALLY MADE MY DAY!

It makes me want to build a Pokemon Platinum hack that would fit Asshat's ideals, right until he gets the Fly HM which would crash him in a random city and everyone would start talking stupid.

And the reason the mart and pokecenter are together is to remove that ally between them where the psychics smoke their pot. That's the only rationalization of it.

Oh my God. That was wonderfully awful. I choked on a hot-dog when 'chav' appeared.

Quote:

And the reason the mart and pokecenter are together is to remove that ally between them where the psychics smoke their pot. That's the only rationalization of it.

Yeah, it'd be so edgy and cool!

Still dreading HM001.

Heh. I think the worst part about that gym thing was that I could tell exactly what parts of Ruby/Sapphire they were trying to adapt there.

Still say you should be a real thief and try stealing monstrosities from trainers.

I agree with the above.

I'll be impresses if you can actually steal them.

I third steal pokemon.
Mostly cause I ahve o idea what the fuck is going on!

I swear, why even bother having police if that's how effective they are. If I was that policeman, I would have shot Clifford and kicked Chaz in the nuts and dragged him off to jail, leaving Asshat behind after warning him about dressing up as Team Rocket for halloween.

Quote:

Originally Posted by EvilEarl (Post 1084645)

If I was that policeman, I would have shot Clifford and kicked Chaz in the nuts and dragged him off to jail, leaving Asshat behind after warning him about dressing up as Team Rocket for halloween.

TBH I'm glad you are not a policeman.
Actually why are the police after asshat. I don't think he's committed any crimes has he?

I thank god that EvilEarl will never be a policeman.

Asshat hasn't committed any crimes, but he's probably throwing up some red flags for gang affiliation.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Loyal (Post 1084684)

I thank god that EvilEarl will never be a policeman.

I wouldn't want to be one anyway, being a hired mercenary would pay better.

Ignoring this utterly delightful conversation, all of Chapter Three is up now. I am really sorry that took so long, and I won't do the segmented thing again. That was unfair to you guys.

EDIT: On the other hand, the wait ended up giving me the perfect image for a joke I was going to do anyway. :D

I get it now, the pokemon league doesn't pay people to ship their dropouts to those regions. They pay people to ship their retards to those regions.

And there really needs to be destructible terrain beyond trees and rocks in pokemon.

I can't wait to see what else you will steal from children.

Oodle = Ood, From Doctor Who.

My girlfriend looked at this thread and immediately called him out. "If you're going to make a terrible game, at least be originally terrible."

I still maintain that any Doctor Who references would be a Good Thing and therefore they'd have nothing to do with Topaz, but at the same time, the thought of Ramen saying nothing but its name in BBC English entertains me.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Token (Post 1084896)

How would besmirching a fantastic series with horribleness be a Good Thing?

Because a Doctor Who reference would make me smile, and this game has been systematically designed to make me feel horrible and hate everything.

I'd say it's been fun, but lying is wrong.

So, I'm playing right now. Went to go powerlevel, yeah? Guess what the fuck I saw. No. You're wrong. It's much. More. Horrible.

http://i53.tinypic.com/314to42.png

Fuck. This. Shit. I'm done. Forever.

He has two pokemon! It can't be that bad!

One of them is that stupid Rattata stand-in.

And neither of them are likely to be Rattata.

[edit]Oh. :|

This is just. Ugh. I was joking about the game being designed to hurt me, but now I'm not so sure. This is clearly the product of someone who hates me and wants to destroy any shred of happiness in my life.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Token (Post 1085162)

For all it's flaws, you should have waited for that other Topaz game to get finished. Like I told you.

Naw, but seriously. That sucks, man.

Token snapped, all is right in the world again xP

You can run with that. Make the character think "Ok, I'm offically in Hell." as "Joey" makes mention of his true form or something.

On the plus side, they don't have cellphones in this region, so at least he'll never ever call you or bother you again unless you let him.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Malek (Post 1085221)

On the plus side, they don't have cellphones in this region, so at least he'll never ever call you or bother you again unless you let him.

That is his only victory, nothing else, it revives that last shred of hope so that it can die again later.

Wait so is this DATA EXPUNGED also Arceus?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Locke cole (Post 1085243)

Wait so is this DATA EXPUNGED also Arceus?

I haven't decided yet. I wasn't planning on that when I started brainstorming the "myth arc" for this volume.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Token (Post 1085156)

Hey Joey Joe Joe

The wait until the next episode will be a little longer than normal. After all, it takes a while to record a song.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Token (Post 1085500)

The wait until the next episode will be a little longer than normal. After all, it takes a while to record a song.

Wait, what?

I'm just a dude, he's just a douche,

Quote:

Originally Posted by EvilEarl (Post 1085503)

Wait, what?

can I make it anymore obvious?

It had better be in rap format or so help me God.

There is a special hell for people like me.

No. No it is not. It's a Sk8r Boi parody.

I will join you in that hell/

Quote:

Originally Posted by Token (Post 1085526)

No. No it is not. It's a Sk8r Boi parody.

Your an asshole. I'll cut off your face. What more can I say?

*Plays Bon Jovi's "Joey"*

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fusionman (Post 1085626)

Your an asshole.

Wasn't he Asshat? xP

Fine. He's an asshat. He'll lose his face. What more can I say?

Song's finished, as are three of the ones I planned for the last thread. However, the song makes more sense for Johto, seeing as it's sung to Joey. So it won't be in the next update. However, when I finish a few more songs, I'll make an Asshat Bandcamp account, put together an album, and put it up for free. (Also there will be an update in the next few days.)

Current songs finished:
1. Trainer Boi
2. Pokegear
3. Hey, Joey, Fuck You
4. Credits

Planned songs:
1. Kakuna Rattata
2. VS Red
3. The Lance Fight Rap
4. The original song I had planned for the Lance fight
5. Dammit Johto.

Hey Joey, where you goin' with that ball in your hand
Hey Joey, I said where you goin' with that ball in your hand

I'm going down to fight with my Rattata
You know, it's in the top percentage in this land

Etcetera, etcetera.

(Yes. I know. Horrible.)

EDIT: Wait, shit. I was still supposed to be on break.
Oh, well. I guess I'm back?

What about "fuck you, I have a red Gyrados"?

I am so very very sorry part 4.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fenris (Post 1089004)

Token approached me and asked me to continue the series a 'lil bit ago and I had a spare minute during this thanksgiving break period so whelp.

Why do you hate me Fenris? What did I ever do to you? :crying:

That being said, I see three pokemon on Joey's team. I call bullshit.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dracorion (Post 1089022)

Why do you hate me Fenris? What did I ever do to you? :crying:

That being said, I see three pokemon on Joey's team. I call bullshit.

You know what you did.

Also, egg, Flash slave.

I am so happy we have this tag.

Fantastic, thanks! (Also, who the hell is enough of a pussy to need Flash?)

I'm currently on Ridiculous American Turkey Day Break, most of the writing for Chapter Four is finished, and I'm about halfway through playing Chapter Seven. I'm gonna try to get at least 4 and 5 up in the next two or three days, but as those unfortunate enough to follow my Twitter know, I'm sick as balls right now. As soon as I've posted this, I'm going back to sleep. After that, any time today I don't spend puking or shitting will be devoted to Asshat.

Chapter Four: Jaded

The prostitution line is a good change of pace from the standard poor grammar and cheesy lines.

But I would go pokemon trainer as not only would you be famous, but your pokemon would be sore instead of you.

I've been waiting a long time for this update.

I am totally re-pulsed by your puns in that gym battle. Go on, my friend.

The sear amount of rage in that last update made my day.

Can't wait for the next update.

Oh god. Worst fears realized.

HM01 is Slice. Trees are replaced by little kids

I was holding out hope that it might've been something harmlessly dumb, like "scare", or something. I didn't want to believe the game was that depraved.

Why are you collecting gym badges? I'm a bit lost

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aldurin (Post 1090323)

~~what makes you think her pokemon wouldn't join in and get sore as well~~
Trainers gonna train, hookers gonna hook.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nikose Tyris (Post 1090338)

I've been waiting a long time for this update.

Tch. Should have waited another month before posting.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lost in Time (Post 1090367)

I am totally re-pulsed by your puns in that gym battle. Go on, my friend.

Ohm my god, I have had it with all these puns. I don't mean to be negative, but they're all old as well. Don't you have any more current jokes?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kyanbu The Legend (Post 1090430)

The sear amount of rage in that last update made my day.

Can't wait for the next update.

This one's only about two thirds of the way done. Stuff keeps coming up, and I haven't had much time to sit down and finish.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Locke cole (Post 1090433)

The game is always that depraved. Always.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Smarty McBarrelpants (Post 1090460)

Why are you collecting gym badges? I'm a bit lost

Pretty much because A) Giovanni told him to, and B) it's a decent way for his pet monstrosities to gain experience.

This is bullshit: I'm going to write a bunch of it, fall asleep, and post tomorrow.

~~TOKEN, WHAT THE HELL. You forgot to finish the last update for almost a MONTH. JEGUS FUCK. I'm going to post the last half of chapter four and the entirety of chapter five right the fuck now.~~

Scratch that. Going on hiatus until A) this headache is gone, B) I'm not depressed as shit, and C) I can go a day without a medical dilemma. Sorry. I just can't do this right now; there's been a lot going on in my life, it's all starting to overflow, and I don't have the energy to try to be funny right now.

Hey man, whatever you need. There's no reason to put a letsplay over yer health. Whenever you're ready.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Token (Post 1095417)

Scratch that. Going on hiatus until A) this headache is gone, B) I'm not depressed as shit, and C) I can go a day without a medical dilemma. Sorry. I just can't do this right now; there's been a lot going on in my life, it's all starting to overflow, and I don't have the energy to try to be funny right now.

*hug* Don't wear yourself out just because of us. Get yourself some good rest, maybe fill up on some good holiday comfort food.

Thirded. This can wait, conquer your real-life stuff first. God knows you've got enough.

Chapter 5: Slash and Slash