[the police] What in the Fuck Has Ice Cube Done So Far?
 

- Made some rap albums or something
- Starred in a shitty sequel to a shitty Vin Diesel movie
- Cut some hair

You call those accomplishments? I SURE DON'T

Who does this jerk think he is?!

Fact: By this point in his term as Rapsident of the United States, Lyndon Baines "RZA" Johnson had championed major financial reform (the controversial CREAM accords), expanded the rights of Dirty Bastards, and transformed into Voltron.

But it seems Ice Cube is just too cool to be out there standing up for us - the people!!

Well it was hard enough getting the write-in candidate elected, so many people thought a "T" was involved in the spelling, they're STILL re-counting the votes on the west coast
edit:
- Went on a road trip

I told you, running a barbershop does not qualify a man for this kind of position. He lost my vote when he choose Mike over Cedric for his running mate.

And don't get me started on that church scandal.

You gonna talk some shit about the guy who took part in the first tank-jacking in history? I don't think so, motherfucker.

http://img686.imageshack.us/img686/5632/2005xxx2012.jpg
Darius Stone, Xzibit, and Kyle Steel check dat shit.

He's a goddamn American hero.

FASTER STRONGER MORE ATTITUDE BITCH.

Not to mention his stint as a motherfucking astronaut. You gotta have a fucking PhD for that shit.

http://img696.imageshack.us/img696/7233/marsl.jpg
Ghosts of Mars? Yeah, there are gonna be some motherfucking ghosts when Desolation Williams blows this popsicle stand. He's already got himself a fine bitch, too.

Maybe you should attend a history class before you talk shit about such an accomplished Rapsident, Fifth. You want a fascist dictatorship taking over the country? You want Martian zombies biting your ass? Huh? Is that what you fucking want?

Didn't think so.