Insert that WRONGWRONGWRONGWRONG picture from the happy forum adventure game here.

Double boiler man. Double boiler. The champion's way to melt chocolate.

Pot + water. On top of this, bowl with chocolate in it. Make sure that bowl is metal or something that won't melt.

I can tailor it to order. Chloroform is easier to produce and ship but if you're a classy dude we can stick to the less drastic.

But does double boiler double as its own pastry bag?

No. It doesn't double as anything except being a boiler, which isn't really doubling at all.

In addition, make sure the bowl doesn't touch the water, that no water gets in the chocolate and that you don't let the chocolate get too hot, i.e. take it off once it's melted.

While we're back on topic of confections there's a much simpler way to make a nice little treat that's similar.

Use round pretzels, Hugs (mostly for the stripe effect, switch out as you like.), and M&M's.

Place the Hugs/whatever in the pretzel and warm them to a point where they're pliable but not melted, then push an M&M down into the center.

Also you can melt chocolate (or caramel) chips in glass in the microwave just as well without worrying about melting a plastic bag, then use a plastic bag as a pastry tool if you're not the type to pay attention to things like melting plastic all the time.

And as always, unless you're doing it together, don't do this for someone without practicing first.

It disturbs me that you are implying you have a green penis. Get that checked out.

Never trust a skinny chef
 

Look at this spread.
http://i29.photobucket.com/albums/c2..._0009small.jpg
Look at this fuckin' masterpiece of culinary cunning, a true testament to tasty treats.

We've got Ants on a Log, a sour cream/salsa/cheddar dip with chips, and some banana oatmeal cookie thing I found this morning. Something for everyone and everyone for something. And rest assured, these are safe and delicious. I tasted them myself.

She's due any minute now. It's showtime, baby!