CB 18 all hail the mods
 

we are here today to worshop the mods for they are nice enough to let us play calvinball.

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"we must fight for the mods sake"
((this first came from a nationstates thread, http://www.nationstates.net/forum/vi...c.php?t=125160 , but this won't be as spammy, nor will it be a n00b eating))

begins chanting a hymn of prayer to the mods "shall we sacrifice a goat?"

we must fight to please them and no god moding in exess

Jarlax enters. "Whats the scenerio(sp?) this time?" Jarlax hails the mods.

DB builds a big altar to the mods, and sacrifices various small, furry animals to them...

HoP hits the base drum
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hail them

so, what IS the scenario this time?

HoP, you're not the drummer. I'M the designated percussionist in this Calvinball arena.

Jadarendir goes double kick pedal on HoP's ass... Slipknot Style!!

acually I'm a drummer in real life.

scenerio?
were at a temple I guess.

where's the Calvinball?

the mods have it and you must please them to get it.

"It's on top of the 20,000 foot Praymid."Says psymon, as he points into the sky.

"Did I hear something about small fuzzy animals being sacrificed?", says SH popping into existence. Crackling, blue electricity dances across his fur as he builds a charge.

yes........evil chihuahuas who claimed to be hamsters!!!!!!!

Newsflash, the Mods don't let you play Calvinball, they are just not here. AKA if they were there would be NO Calvinball.. :P

yeah........we need some other theme.........something FF, maybe?

exactly they don't come here thus we can play calvinball. and doesn't rairai patroll the roleplaying somewhat.

also don't you think that some one brought calvin ball to the attention of the mods.
edit: I did it cause we need to get off of quests calvin balls

"So they wouldn't be a calvinBall if the mods came here?Kill them all!!"
Psymon runs at the nearest mod
"But they keep the forums, Forum shaped? Save them all!!"
Psymon walks away from the Mod
"But if we keep them, They might stop the CalvinBall. Kill the Mods!!"
Psymon starts to kill one of the mods
"But there would be no forum. Save the mods"

haahhahahaha that was good psymon hahahah

hahaha......go Psymon!!!

After a while of trying to work out the paradox, Psymon Comes to a concluesion:
"Kill half of them"

Jarlax thinks this is a stupid way to get the Calvinball. "If we're going to sacrifice things to please the mods so we can get the Calvinball, then we need to sacrifice something bigger than small furry animals." Jarlax pulls out a ritual dagger, and stabs HoP in the heart.

"Dude, that's drowish!" DB meanwhile is rewarded with the Calvinball and flies off into the sunset........

Aye, she does. And I am watching closely at all times. Just be lucky the rules aren't as strict as the old forums...but be wary, your time may yet come.

*genuflects before the awesome power of the mods*

SH appears on top of the Calvin Ball and grabs DB's nose screaming "Got your nose!!"

He disappears with the Calvinball (and coicidently DB's nose cuz I meant it) and reappears meters away rolling on the Calvin Ball.

DB knows that's only a trick, his nose is still on his fac, and with his superior height is easily able to overtake the rolling SH and the Calvinball........he douses SH in water, steals the Calvinball, and runs off with it!!!

Jarlax sees that DB got the Calvinball first, he then looks down on HoP. "woops, guess i didn't need to kill you after all. Sorry about that." He then throws the wet static hampster at DB, making him flinch. In the moment of confusion Jarlax grabs the Calvinball and runs.

DB then throws SH at Jarlax, hitting him in the back of the head. Jarlax drops the Calvinball in his surprise, and DB picks it up, hops onto a conveniently-located magic carpet, and flies off!

SH jumps off of Jarlax tired of being used as some kind of BALL. Wet and cranky SH gets out a giant hairdryer and dries off. After he's done...he points the dryer at DB, the hot winds burning his hands and blowing the Cavin Ball so that it bounds away.

"Next person to use me as a ball is going to be shocked to find out what happens to them", he yells, running after the errant Calvin Ball.

However at Jarlax, who has longer legs than SH, gets to the Calvinball first. He then throws the bloody ritual dagger at SH, which impales him in the face.

Now annoyed, SH passed through a ripple in 4d space and rematerializes inside the Calvin Ball. Running as fast as his "little" legs can go his starts the Calvinball spinning so fast in Jarlax hands that they burn. SH bounds away inside the Calvinball giggling.

DB, now slightly annoyed, casts a spell.......

"TOAD!!!!!"

both Jarlax and SH turn into toads, since SH can't move between dimensions as a toad, he falls out of the Calvinball.........which DB promptly picks up and runs away with, snickering..

OOC: DB if I can't move between dimensions how did I get out of a solid, uniform sphere that has no holes?

IC: "Ribbit", damn, without fur SH loses his charge and is actually trapped inside the Calvin Ball. He is also slightly annoyed because Toad are so not as cute as hamsters. Where is a handy princess when you need one?

edit: SH leaps up as hard as he can to knock the ball into DB's face...

OOC: because it's solid, previously you were between dimensions............according to D&D, materialization inside a solid object hurts you, and dumps you outside the object. It was either that, or have it kill you..........and I wouldn't kill a friend over a Calvinball game (not yet, anyway)

IC: DB jumps back onto the magic carpet and flies off........wondering what to do with the Calvinball first...

Calvin Balls aren't hollow? Well I never knew that...huh.

Well if they aren't hollow disregard me materializing inside of it.

It's either that, or folding into 3d space again within a solid object would cause a sub-atomic reaction so intimate that I would not only destroy myself but several miles around us in a very large explosion.

Which is what happens scientifically when you materialize in a solid object.

yup, hey! Maybe I could use it like Black Materia and summon a big meteor.......then, when it hits the Lifestream, I'll become a God!!!! *maniacal laughter*

OOC: You don't become a god, you just control the lifestream of that planet, and you are 'god' of that planet.

OOC: ALL YOUR PLANET IS BELONG TO ME!!!!!!!!!

Jarlax doesn't enjoy being a toad. Jarlax looks into his item bag and uses a "Maiden's kiss" returning him to normal.

OOC: when you're polymorphed, you can't really use any of your items, you know.............but I suppose in this one case I'll let it pass

IC: "now, as long as no punk kid with an oversized butter knife comes along, I should be able to become a God, and rule this stupid planet....MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" DB grins as he zooms along on his flying carpet, then has a better idea "I could forge the Calvinball into The One Ring, and use it To Rule Them All.......hmmm...."

cliche alert cliche alert
thousands of telemarketers comme rushing at you

the telemarketers, being in the real world instead of in the MSN Matrix, are only mortal and thus susceptible to even the weakest of DB's magical arsenal, "LIT-3!!!" bolts of lightning shoots from DB's fingertips, reducing the telemarketers to mangled piles of steaming, smoldering flesh......"Well, there's the end of a great and malevolent evil" DB chuckles as he heads off toward his Fortress of Darkness (named for its previous owner, Darkness the Lich!)

OOC: I'm not the villain, I'm just playing the game:D

Even in Toad form (*croak*) SH still has the power to attact and absorb electrical energies. He redirects the Lit-3 and uses it to power his transformation back to his adorable self.

SH "Well that's better, where did you get a flying carpet from anyway DB?"

SH whistle and send his friends, cousins, brother Sven to go get him. He's an oversized kid with a butter knife btw....

DB calls back to SH "E-bay, where else?" and can easily defeat Sven.............since an oversized kid with a butter knife is NOT the way a great villain (or hero!) is destined to die!.......the flying carpet is moving much too fast and high up for SH and his friends to catch him.....

no SH was dictracting you for the sneak attack.
HoP grabs you to pull you to the ground and glues you with anderbond and he put the anderbond on your hands and mouth so you can't cast magic.
"Ha anderbond is magic proof"

Since DB is nieither a great hero, nor a great villain Sven throws the butter knife with great accuracy at DB's head and gets a nice clean hit, the Calvin Ball drops out of DB's hands and into Static's waiting paws.

But the Calvin Ball is too heavy and it crushes him.

SH, "This pain is going to linger...."

OOC: Wow. Okay. I've never have seen so much anarchy in my life. And foreginers here as well. But RaiRai is cool, so peace :D. And HoP. Do you have something against capitals or are your Caps Lock and Shift buttons broken? Anyways, I'm finding a trend that it's bascially DB and HoP with a little SH intervention, who has some intelligent thoughts and a miniscule bit of Jarlax with actual sensible skill. I think I'm done now. Peace :D.

Thunder Dragoon removes his helm and the wind blows through his hair on top of the temple. He puts it back on and looks down at the others, quarling amongst themselves. DB laughs at his animal jokes,taunts and spells.
TD calls in animal control and they haul DB away for cruelty to animals. He looks then at HoP. He throws a bag of cheetohs at him. Problem solved.
He turns his attention to SH, who's having animal identiy problems. TD leaves him and his crushed....paws/hands/whatever-they-are.
He looks at Psymon, whom's trying to gain favor with the mods. He takes Psymon and throws him at the unsuspecting mods, whom start beating the crap out of him. He turns to the final person, Jarlax.
"Shall we?" TD asks.
"Let's dance!" Jarlax yells.

Lycanthrope shows up.
"Hey all, whats up? The mods have the damn ball? Hahaha, you'll never get it you fools."

Wow, how can you guys enjoy spam like this? I've had reports that this is getting out of hand and I'd have to agree. If anyone has any questions, PM me. Otherwise, please refrain from making any more roleplays like this.