Report: Commercial messages reaching new heights (lows?) of stupidity
 

I bring to your attention two pieces of evidence (amongst many, I know, but these two stagger my imagination):

1. The Gillette ProGlide Fusion Whatchamacallit Razor

I recently saw a Gillette commercial wherein it was pointed out that in case you plan on shaving underwater, the new Gillette ProGlide Fusion Whatchamacallit is definitely a better choice than the leading disposable razor. Because less cuts and nicks leads to less shark attacks. This is not the stupid part of the commericial, however!

Look closely at who makes the leading disposable razor according to this commercial: GILLETTE. That's right, Gillette presumes to sell you their new razor by picking on...the quality of Gillette razors. How this makes any sense I am unsure. You'd think they could have at least put Bic disposable razors in the commercial to compare their product to.

2. Hefty BLACKOUT Trash Bags

Hefty's new ad campaign is to...sell you black trash bags. Because "black hides the garbage better". There is mention of some sort of "OdorBlock technology" but since it is just tossed in there at the end presumably it is not the main selling point. No. The main selling point is that these trash bags are black, motherfucker, introducing new color schemes to the pantheon of trash bag colors, which heretofore only consisted of white and...that other shade of black that people have used for decades. There have never been black trash bags before now, you know it!

Please make sure to post more evidence of the current trend of idiocy in marketing. Just make sure it is a truly stupid commercial in the sense that it makes little to no sense, not just that it is dumb. It has to be dumb AND unaware of its dumbness.

In defense of the razer commercial, it was ment to say it's the "Best yet", and it can also say that it's previous razers were crap.

How do I know the current one isn't crap if their previous ones were crap and they lied? But in fact they are not going to quit selling disposable razors, either. They just came out and showed their disposable razor ripping large chunks of skin off a dude's face. Why would I ever buy Gillette disposables now? I might as well take my chance with Bics. They can't be worse and might be better.

That wasn't the point. The point was to show off the new ones.

See, to me the stupidest part of that commercial was that they were shaving underwater in the first place.

What, did you not have time this morning to spend a few minutes in front of a sink and mirror? Or hell, why couldn't you just wait till after you were done scuba diving?

[ed] Get out of the water you stupid dillweeds, the disadvantages of cutting yourself shaving are self-evident enough already.

[ed2] Also, my trash bags are already black. Those trash bags offer nothing of note to me except the odor-blocking presented as a footnote.

"Odor-blocking technology" is code for "our bags are made of plastic and so therefore odor does not easily escape them, much like all other brands of trash bags".

It's kind of like those yogurt commercials that are like "OUR YOGURT CONTAINS PROBIOTIC BACTERIA" which is of course true of all yogurt. At best they advertise specific strains (with gimmicky names like Bifidus Regularis and L. Casei Imunitas) which might be better than other probiotics but of course have not been evaluated by the FDA as to such.

The best thing is when cosmetics are clinically-tested. Cause all those other cosmetics companies just scrap some shit off the street and throw some butter in and call it a day.

Also: Restaurants.

Any razor company that cages up and drops actors into Shark infested waters JUST to prove of much better their brand of razor is compared to their last brand is over the top enough to earn my support.

The commercial amused me. Will be buying their new disposable ravor since I'm over due for a shave anyway.

I tend to like my Merkur anyway, sure I occasionally nick my bastard of a lip but I used to look like I failed at slitting my throat and had a herpes outbreak when I used the modern kind.