I know where you got those jokes... My friend was bored and looking up jokes on the internet, found a bunch of corny ones (Those two inlcuded).

What did Batman say to Robin before getting into the batmobile?
"Get in the batmobile Robin."

How do you make a clown stop laughing?
"You hit him in the face with an axe."

This one works better if said out loud, but here goes.

What's long and hard and full of seamen?

....A boat, you sick bastard.

What should you say to a talking frog?
Nothing. You should run

Knock Knock...
Who's there?
You know damn well who it is! You're the one who locked me in here!

Two guys walked into a bar the third one ducked.

Guy1:I don't know why chickens like to cross roads but they must be good at it. You never see a dead chicken on the road.
Guy2: That's 'cause they get scooped up and sent to Kentucky Fried Chicken.

An angry Red Mage enters the bar.
RM: Allright! I Demand to know WHO KILLED MY DRAGON XILL"QFU!!
Bartender: Oh Jimmy did.
RM: Would who be so kind as to enlighten me on how an untrained farm boy could possibly kill a dragon? Or do I have to kill you?
bartender: Put the knife away...and Jimmy didn't so much kill the dragon as the dragon just sorta...choked on him and died.

Knights of the Dinner table is good
DM: You enter the room and the wizard...dies...
Player: What?! How?
DM: He just sorta dies...probably from a trap of some sort.
Player: Do I get a saving throw?
DM: Nope
Player: Can I cast a spell?
DM: Nope
Player: Wait a minute...does this have to do with the 5$ I owe you?
DM: Yep

three guys were drinking in a bar in the Empire State building. one drunk says to the others "you know... if you leap out the window at these heights, the winds will scoop you up and put you right back in."

the others didn't believe him, so the drunk did it himself. he leaped out the window, and sure enough he landed back in the building.

so the other two guys try it. they get a running start, jump out the window...

and fall to their deaths.

after the two drunks jumped, the bartender turns to the first drunk and says "you know Superman, you are one mean drunk!"

These ones are good! I have one from WB's Superstar.

Judge person: Knock Knock.
Contestant: Who's there.
Judge: You suck.

Person 1: "I've got a little joke for you: Knock Knock!"

Person 2: "... well that's not a very funny joke, now is it?"

I'm hearing a lot of different versions of many old jokes but here is one no one has used yet.

Two people were walking down the street and one was a salted.

(That one sounds much better spoken.)

Know for a real joke:

Want to hear a dirty Joke?

A kid fell into a mud puddle.

Want to hear a clean Joke?

He took a Bath with bubbles.

Want to hear another dirty Joke?

Bubbles is the girl next door.

Personally, I pulled one off of the Penny Arcade! forums, and another from my friend.

But they could have come from that site.

Or they could be that site. You just never know.

Anyone ever see Catch Me If You Can?

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Go fuck yourself.

A joke thread! Excellent, now I can get everyone here to hate my guts, and some other people's too! Why you ask?

What's funnier than a dead baby?
Dead baby in a clown suit.

What's worse than a pile of dead babies?
There's a live one on the bottom, and he's eating his way out.

What's worse than a ten dead babies nailed to a tree?
A dead baby nailed to ten trees.

Ah, I love dead baby jokes. Now for something that doesn't involve dead babies. This joke was actually voted the funniest joke ever here in the States, though I never saw the survey.

A couple of redneck hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing; his eyes are rolled back in his head.
The other redneck starts to panic, then whips out his cell phone and calls 911.
He frantically blurts out to the operator, "O my gawd! Help! My friend just died. He's Dead! What can I do?"The operator, trying to calm him says, "Take it easy. I can help. Just listen to me and follow my instructions. First, lets make sure he's dead."
There's a short pause, and then the operator hears a loud gun shot!!!
The redneck comes back on the line and says, "OK, now what?"

Edit: I just found this one, and I thought it was pretty damn funny.
An Irish priest is in a church on Saturday afternoon, hearing confessions...A man walks in and kneels down and begins his confession -Father, it has been two weeks since my last confession. These are my sins: Last night I had sex with Nookie Green.

That is your sin?

Yes, Father.

You are forgiven. Go out and say one "Our Father." The man leaves. Soon, another enters and kneels. Father, it has been one month since my last confession. These are my sins: I have had sex with Nookie Green every week for the last month.

The priest thinks to himself this Nookie Green woman is fairly popular with his male parishioners...

Those are your sins?

Yes, Father.

You are forgiven. Go out and say three "Hail Marys." The man leaves.

Soon, another enters and kneels down. Father, it has been six months since my last confession. These are my sins: I have had sex with Nookie Green twice a week for the last six months.

This time, the priest has to ask - Who is this Nookie Green?

Just a woman I know, Father.

Very well - you are forgiven. Go out and say ten "Hail Marys."

The priest closes the church for the evening and leaves wondering who this Nookie Green woman is...

The next morning, the priest is up in front of his congregation saying mass. The doors fly open in the back of the church and in walks this woman, a tall redhead with long gorgeous hair, a green sequin dress, green sequined heels and a green hat with a long green feather coming from it. She walks straight up the aisle and sits down right in front of the priest, her knees apart.

The priest cannot help but stop and stare. He finally catches himself and leans over to ask the altar boy - Pssssst. Is that Nookie Green?

The altar boy has a look and says, "No, Father, I think it's just the reflection off her shoes."