Not to beat a dead horse, or anything...
 

But yeah. So it turns out that the end of the world is still coming or something. And we're coming up to the finish line. So, do you plan to spend your last days in sin? Or on your knees? Perhaps both? At once?

Really, though. I can't believe Harold Camping still has followers. He's botched faked these predictions, what, twice now? Well, after his stroke, he's not likely to survive the third one anyway, ne?

You, or me?

I'll be celebrating my friend's 21st.

Ohohoho! Is she fine? Are you planning to rapture her, personally?

Or, barring that due to alternative plumbing...

Is he fine? Are you planning to rapture him, personally?

Hookers and blow.

I'll be busy on Judgment Day. Those locust monsters won't ride themselves, you know.
 

But they can believe it! It's possible that they have to.

We need a crazy cult where no one has to do anything crazy or hurt anyone or hurt themselves or say anything mean to gay people or dead people's families. You'd think a cult like that would already exist and be pretty much popular.