"Our Many Guests" or "Fuck Alt Titles For Threads"
 

I could make a filthy joke about NPF being a whorehouse, but I'm not that much of a douchebag. Instead I'm just implicitly making it, which makes all the difference in the world.

Anyways, I noticed about two months ago that the number of guests browsing the forums has just about quadrupled. As I write now, there are 19 members online, and 103 guests. They are frequently witnessed perusing the Dead threads section. They could be newcomers to the website, drawn in by the Dreadful and whatnot, but that would ordinarily lead to more new forum members that make posts for delicious dissection. Not so in this case, as far as I've observed.

Who are these watchers in the dark? What is their ulterior purpose? Are our souls safe?

Am I being a stupid doodoo-head?

Of course our souls aren't safe. Why would these "guests" be drawn to the dead threads sub-forum? The answer is simple: Ghosts. They are ghosts. NPF is haunted and we are all doomed.

I'd like to think they're here for The Dreadful!

But more likely they're lurking around in the NPF graveyard hoping someone, or something, tosses them 8-bit scraps to feast on like the ravenous ghouls they probably are.

But if they're here for The Dreadful, like any decent, good-looking person should be, they oughta make their voices known! Especially to me. And especially if it's praise.

fuck joy
 

they're viewing images that are hosted on other sites in the dead threads section

Really though, this patternhttp://i.imgur.com/aTxJT.png doesn't make much sense. Asides from Google Spider having some sort of agenda.

Is Umbral Theater 7 a big deal?

What can we say?

Mating season really was his best idea.

I've noticed up to 80 guests at a time in the Dead Threads subforum alone. What's the big draw??? It's not like we have anything super valuable or theft-worthy in there, unless our dead topics from three years ago are the key to eternal life or something.

LURKERS! WHAT DO YOU SEEK IN THE LANDS OF THE DEAD (threads)?

Fifth and I had a conversation? News to me.

Diablo 2 taught me a lot of things. Like when Diablo 2 came out, for instance, it was composed almost entirely of humans.

Now, Diablo 2 is composed almost entirely of bots. This taught me an important lesson: it is in the natural lifecycle of the Internet for things to eventually turn into bots. We humans retreat to new sanctuaries. NPF is not special in this particular way, and the bots will consume. First guests, first old threads, but next?

I wasn't going to mention this but I once discovered that there is a secret code hidden deep within the bows of our dead threads section. I don't know what this code does but damn they seem pretty obsessed with finding it.

That or we have became so dull that our new stuff just isn't worth reading anymore.