"That isn't hand soap . . .", The Wand Polishing Thread
 

So I recently upgraded my wand . . .
A lot of local acquantainces are impressed with its size.http://www.thinkgeek.com/images/prod...b_the_wand.jpg
It's a great piece. Powerful, majestic, hard, everything a man would want in his wand. There's only one snag to this.

I feel the constant need to maintain my valuables, so this means polishing my wand to keep the shine on it, but this has caused multiple issues. First off, my family greatly disapproves of this, even when I explained that it was only a hobby. Second, wand polishing takes a special finesse to it, and if I'm not careful the wand fires off without warning, and it becomes a pain to clean off of the walls. One of my friends also says that I could go blind from those discharges, probably thinks the flash that happens is going to damage my eyes. It's pretty exhausting work and I don't think I'm going about this the right way. So I come to you . . .

Do you have any advice on wand polishing?

Pft, Oghren did this kind of joke better.

Oh, I remember when Harry Potter became famous, too.

Just close your eyes and think of England.