That's a good one. Finally someone here who 'gets me'. ;)

I don't get it. What are you trying to call me on here? I'm not really sure you know. Are you comparing SMB to Bay's TFs? If so, you're pretty much objectively wrong. Like, even if you're the kind of sociopath who didn't like SMB, they did pretty different things. You're not going to criticise SMB for the things the TF movies did wrong because SMB didn't do those things. The stupid, lazy filming techniques Bay shits on his movies with were still appropriately considered stupid mistakes to be avoided when SMB came out. If you have a problem with SMB, even if the problem is broadly similar (like say "visuals") your criticisms are going to be based on fairly different criteria. For instance, you can actually see the action in SMB clearly. Like if TF had been handled the way SMB was, I would probably have no issues with it. It would have clear visuals, solid designs, a willingness to explore the otherworldliness of the TFs, and primary focus on the title characters and their struggles. Also no Megan Fox or Shia LeBouf and a general acceptance that people who don't fit into the supermodel standard of attractiveness can be passionate and fall in love (seriously, Bertha's probably my favourite thing about that movie. Mario should'a taken her with him).

There is no reason that you would call SMB "~2 hours of flashing lights and noise," like I said about Bay's TFs. At least if you did, your metaphor would be demonstrably misleading. You might have other problems with it, but your problems, but you'd have to stretch your parameters to the point of uselessness to put them in the same category.

Even the things I praised about SMB are things that have no relevance here. TF doesn't do anything with its setting - its setting is just modern America. It doesn't really have any costumes beyond normal clothes and uniforms, and it's definitely not anything I would call fun, as it goes out of its way to be stupidly gritty and serious with its designs.

Are you saying it's ironic because I made a big thread about how SMB is a fantastic movie even though other people shit-talk it, but I call another movie shit? 'Cause if that's the case, you need to revisit your understanding of irony.

I just can't really work out what it is you're trying to call me on here.

I like to imagine that "SMB" in this context is short for SmartyMcBarrelpants and that Bit is furiously defending Smarty as the superior product to Transformers.

No.
 

Bit:

Super Mario Brothers: it outright ignored and rewrote a number of elements that, at the time, were kind of fundamental to the franchise (and still represents the Mario franchise about as well as, say, any given PETA commercial).

Transformers: hey it's kinda similar in that way!

Also, both movies really irritated the fans of said franchises and were directed by people that nobody liked and get a metric ton of hate on the internets (and have very vocal defenders).

I mean, I could go on, but I'll stop there, 'cause, you know - I'm not really trying to pick a fight. Short version: SMB wasn't a great movie. You defend it as if it was, then get really irritable at people who don't share your taste. I find that kind of funny. That kind of irony

Quote:

Originally Posted by dictionary.com irony 1 (?a?r?n?) — n , pl -nies 1. the humorous or mildly sarcastic use of words to imply the opposite of what they normally mean 2. an instance of this, used to draw attention to some incongruity or irrationality 3. incongruity between what is expected to be and what actually is, or a situation or result showing such incongruity 4. See dramatic irony 5. philosophy See Socratic irony

(see the third definition, the one that fits in this case, as I actually often agree with your taste).

(EDIT: in other words, you're over-analyzing an off-hand comment)

Also, what Osterbaum says: that's hilarious.

EDIT: more on topic - so, Bay: complete monster or just a doofus?

What I never got about people railing on Transformers is that yeah, the Bay interpretations are really shallow and often times crappy even with a superficial review, but it's not like the real source material of Transformers is good. It's shit too. Citation not needed.

And which would not have worked at all in a movie format. It kept the bare skeleton of the basic plot with the goombas and the mushroom kingdom and the princess, and then rewrote everything necessary to make it work as a 1993 movie, as that a movie about some dude jumping on weird mushroom people to save a princess with no dialogue or characterization of any real sort would not have flown, and they didn't really have the technology to, say, recreate the Super Mario Super Show in live action.

Further, it's still obvious watching the movie that somebody CARED, and not just a little, either. There's a lot of love that went into it which is obvious as you watch the movie.

Except that the changes made were unnecessary and of a completely different caliber. They weren't changes to make it work as a movie, they were changes to allow Michael Bay to fetishize the military. And just... add racism for no real reason. And move the focus of the movie away from the title characters.

When people complain about the changes to the franchise in the Bay movie they have specific complaints as to what changed and why that made it a poor movie.

When people do the same for Super Mario Brothers it's just 'It's nothing like the games' which, itself, isn't really completely true, but just not a similar complaint at all except on a level so b... wait hold on:


And again: I totally agree except that the Bay movies are even worse than the original source material which is an accomplishment of some degree. It's like he viciously cut away anything that was ever good about the source, kept everything terrible about the source, and then added a bunch more terrible stuff to replace the good stuff he had cut away.

It's like some kind of black magic he's got going on.

Transformers is just shitty, though. Not even on an adaptation level. I mean it probably did a decent job of adapting shit, all in all. You got Megatron fightin' Optimus Prime for the Cube which is pretty much the Matrix or whatever. It is just a terrible, terrible commer--I mean, movie. Whereas SMB was at least somewhat enjoyable in and of itself, even if also a terrible adaptation.

I'll tell you what, I'll take Mario and Luigi dancing to Everybody Walk the Dinosaur in a dystopian nightclub over that annoying as fuck tiny robot who inexplicably had a Brooklyn accent in that second movie. Man that was an annoying robot. Shit.

SHIT.

6-24-09 never forget.
 

Don't forget robot balls.

Oh, God, I can't remember this...were they like wrecking balls on a construction truck or something? God don't even tell me I don't want to know...

Michael Bay: "Don't blame me. Blame yourself, or God."

Over the course of the first two Transformers films I kind of got what Bay was doing though. He was taking a stupid cartoon - and yes it IS stupid and also just a marketing ploy of its own - and adapting it into a flashy superficial robot slug fest with admittedly too-long slapstick/low-grade comedic segments. And hot chicks. It's all very superficial but, what were you expecting? Something deep to get interpreted from the 80's cartoon about the adventures of a Hasbro Robot Toy Line? Set expectations to Low, and brain to Low, and I thought the first two Transformers movies were pretty watchable. Award worthy, absolutely not, except for maybe special effects. They're popcorn movies.

I have no explanation for Dark of the Moon though. That did require black magic. Holy hell that was boring and also why was it like 4 hours long?

I was expecting him to have giant robots beat and shoot each other up while talking about freedom being the right of all sentient beings and to be able to tell what the hell was happening when that happened.

Instead I got robot fights that were completely impossible to discern what was happening and a bunch of Shia Lebouf talking.

Like, it's not that it wasn't deep, it was that it wasn't even a good mindless movie.

I mean, "Giant robots shoot each other up and turn into cool cars" is a pretty hard thing to fuck up but he FOUND A WAY.

Optimus Prime shouldn't be demanding that other Transformers give him their faces.

Technically speaking he is below the enemy exposed testes.

That bothered me too.

The transformers movie wasn't about the transformers. End of.

Sad thing is, I can remember a time when people were actually looking forward to these movies:

http://www.fireball20xl.com/gbs/index.php?id=80

SrslyInorite?
 

You know, I'm actually in complete agreement with Magus. Now that I've distanced myself from it, I can enjoy Super Mario Brothers (though it'll never be one of my favorites).

THAT SAID, I also know people who genuinely enjoy Transformers. I ain't one, and it's likely that I never will be, but yeah, there are people who truly like it. Bad jokes and all. Go them!

Just so we're clear: there's nothing wrong with liking a bad (or okay, or awful, or any other kind of) movie. Hudson Hawk. It's a terrible movie. Simply phenomenal in its scope of awful. I love every minute of it. I'm totally okay with that. I'm totally okay with people generally hating it. I'm totally okay with anyone liking or hating any movie they like, in general. Feel free!

Almost the entirety of my response was to:
To that I say: "meh, to each their own". It's just a strange choice of words from a guy who's going out of his way to defend a movie that is so widely panned by critics, fans, and people who helped create the thing. That's all!

And Krylo - I was going to go all "here's a response to you" but, given my predilections for talking, it got too large and too deraily on this thread, so I put it in the other one.

NOW ABOUT NINJA TURTLES: so, apparently they're dropping both the "Teenaged" and "Mutant" from the title. Whelp!

Man, why do I have to be right about crap like this? I was half-kidding when I said he will probably do that.

Jon Carter was a box office bomb. How does that prove you should shorten your titles?

But that guy was so condescending. He has to be right.

Everything written on the A.V. Club is (usually) sarcastic, especially if Bay is involved. For example:

I'm assuming it is done in order to not get a lawsuit for false advertising, considering they are no longer teenage nor mutant.

Still a damn shame considering when this thing started it was screaming original comics TMNT: The Movie.

Whelp MB, you've given me and every TMNT fan a good strong reason not to see this possible train wreak.

I liked The Transformers, and I offer no appologies. Same with The Last Airbender. Go on abuse me more, I like it. Go on, keep talking 'cause its true.

And I wouldn't be one to complain given my interests
 

...

I respect you for being open about it.

It'll be a guaranteed SMASH HIT!
 

"Toad ring, do your thing!"

I can picture a leather-clad dominatrix beating Michael Bay, whispering in his ear while he grovels, "Yes, you're a bad boy, aren't you? You ruined Transformers for everyone! You love ruining everything, don't you, you bad, bad boy! It makes you feel good, doesn't it. So goooood. YOU BAD BOY! Time for your punishment, you bad boy!"

http://www.nerfnow.com/comic/image/724

This'll be the only fucking way I'll watch this movie.

So then they'd have to make a sequel thats like AVP except with TMNT vs Battle Toads.

I think Kyruck just discovered Bay's secret, brilliantly stupid plan.

http://tmntnottant.blogspot.de/2012/...-reviewed.html
https://docs.google.com/open?id=0B22...DdpWFhUNGRacWs

Apparently, the script leak for Bay's movie. Yeug..

And Colonel Schrader & the Foot paramilitary group, kinda makes it worse.

wow bay, that's just all kinds of awful. Well rather the script is legit or not doesn't matter since the project has been canceled.

Way to succinctly sum up everything wrong with in one line, Bay
 

THE PROPHECY LIVES

EDIT: There are also magic orbs in this guyz

I have not seen anything offical about this yet.

I heard it was postponed indefinitely (probably until they can write a half-decent script).

Fixed that for you