The Ongoing Sega of Sonic in America
 

GOTTA GO FAST

Socialized chili dogs aren't sustainable!

They would be if we'd take more chili dogs from the rich. Have you seen how much Eggman Industries spends on lobbying to prevent an increase in chili dog taxes?

Eggman worked himself up from the ground! If he doesn't want to share his chili dogs with a bunch of commie liberal welfare queens, power to him.

I can't be sonicist if I think sonics are totally, totally hot, right?

Sega does need to get their shit together with this franchise. Also chilidogs are great due to how they stimulate methane production in humans, creating a viable renewable energy source.

Like look I'm just saying man you know what they say
once you go sonic
you'll eat no other vomit

Oh fuck, I remember when Chicago posted this, all my love.

First those billions wasted on that ARK space program that did nothing and now Socialized Chillidogs? Thats it, thats the last straw. I'm moving to Angel Island and adopt their isolationist policy. I'm tired of running through all those zones to fix their problems. We should all just stay in our own zones.