The Help Thread -- Branching here because it's off topic
 

I'm sorry, but this really shouldn't be allowed. You don't know their situation, and as such, you don't know whether or not what you say could be incredibly hurtful. As it turns out, people kept being "funny" and showing support, and hurt Token immensely, because they don't know what is and isn't okay.

You're using the same defense that those who make rape jokes make, and it is not okay. "I, sitting happily outside your problem, think this joke I'm making about it is hilarious. I totally support you though, I'm just making a joke about something that's deadly serious to you."

It's not okay, and even though you think that levity and joking about people's problems is great, I think there should be a rule against it. You don't know what will or won't hurt someone, and if they're feeling like they need to come get help, they should be safe where they go for help. Allowing people to make jokes about their situation turns their safe spot into just the opposite.

Edit: I made this before I saw POS threw his "Stop it" thing in there, but I think that this is a different subject than that anyways, and needs to be addressed.

That's a false equivalency.

That's quite the assumption to make. You don't know me at all, you don't know what I struggle with in my life. And, frankly, fuck you for making those assumptions.

Token has not only my support, but my admiration. He's a much braver man than I because he has it within himself to open up about his problems. I don't. And I really, really hope he knows just how highly I think of him, and how completely uncomfortable this post probably is for both of us to respectively read and write.

Token is my friend and I love him, and I'm sorry if my off the cuff remark hurt him. But that's between him and me.

Stay out of my personal business.

This isn't about you and Token, or anything that was happening there. I'm talking about your statement that people should be able to make jokes about the issues in that thread. People have come to that thread with issues of feeling suicidal, cancer, health problems, and it should be treated seriously, and there should be a rule against making jokes about the problems that people encounter.

There is a rule against being a jerkberger, and inappropriate insensitivity falls into it. There will not be a rule against levity entirely. We will decide when and where the line is crossed. Your concern is noted and appreciated.

In the future, if you feel the line may have been crossed, report the post and allow us to make the final judgment on the matter.

I'm with rpg here. I don't think levity has a place in that thread. It's for people seeking serious help with their serious problems, I'm pretty sure most people don't want to see someone making light of something that's a problem for them. Sure some people might want that, but I've never felt that the Life Help Thread was the place for that.

I have done so to your post POS, as well as Krylo's, in the hopes that this matter is brought to the attention of other mods/admins as well. I don't think the issue is being properly addressed if the only mods aware of it are the ones making the light-hearted comments in the first place. (Of course it's possible the other mods are aware and this is being discussed in the mod forum, but better safe than sorry).

And your use of the post report function on this matter is welcomed and appreciated, thank you.

Yeah, while there has never really been a rule or such, the mods have been known to ban people for dickishness. But this is a topic that has several shades of gray to it, so I am ok with there not being a strict rule to it. But then again I have no idea what started this. Wait are we still not allowed to be drunk here? Why's that. Those were the best threads.

Just the first few results from google. Feel free to find more/better.
 

I emphatically disagree with your spurious assertations.

Levity has every place in that thread.

I made the post I did because there's nothing I could really say to Token about his problem. It's a big messy ball of shit and there's not a lot that can be said advice-wise to help him through it, because there's no clean out in that kind of situation.

Given that there's no advice I can give, that leaves trying to make him feel better, if not about the situation, then in general.

Given THAT I felt that levity was the best tool in my arsenal at the time.

IF what I said offended Token, then he has my apologies, however this strange idea that levity and joking has no place in a thread where people have serious problems, despite the fact that clinical psychology has proven many times over that humor in such situations is one of the absolute best ways to cope, is one that I'm just not going to give much credence.

Also, I'd like to take a moment here, to say that the reason for this, as a whole, isn't to protect the moderators. It's because that, in so much as inappropriate levity or insensitivity might hurt someone's feelings, so does turning their problems into a bunch of only tangentially related drama.

I can't speak for Token, or Nikose, or Snake, or POS or anyone else on this, but I know that if I were to post something there, and someone responded in a way that was maybe less than sensitive, well yeah, that may or may not bother me. Regardless, however, it would not bother me as much as the thing that I posted turning into drama and/or arguments among the userbase as a whole, because, while I would know, logically, that it is not my fault, guilt is a stupid illogical thing.

I feel it's important to point this out, because I feel that public discourse of issues is, sometimes, helpful. But in situations like this, it's. . . well it's really not.

Here's the thing: You don't know when the line will be crossed, only the victim will. And, they might be okay with someone joking about their situation, or they might completely not be.

It just shouldn't be okay to take someone's serious problems and joke about them. You're not doing someone a favor by making them feel uncomfortable and upset. Why do you want to fight so hard for the right to say and do things that make people offended and in pain, just because it might not have that same effect on someone else.