i would but he lives too far away

Thanks, I appreciate it. I was actually planning on taking this to another thread like I suggested a couple times, but I've got a presentation tomorrow morning so I can't really spend any more time on this tonight. >.<

I would admit a good screwing would probably help Snake out a bit, but that is an entirely different story.

I guess if I had to get into the argument of this place as a safe place I'd say that there is a lot of difficulty in figuring out where we draw the line and where we lay the veil. Now some things can be obvious, like honest to balls bigotry that goes beyond simple ignorance, others can be a little more hmm inducing, like when SMB used to flip the fuck out when someone didn’t use the same definition of anarchy as him. There have been some recent permabans that came less from a genuine state of hate, and more from a habitual response of mockery(which I figure deserves a break at best) or random bouts of anger that results in a very ugly post that ends up hitting a nerve in the right person.
Hell we almost banned Kim for that reason, and may have actually banned Kim for that reason like once, I think I accidentally defused that one.

We’re for the most part not bad folks, but can be aggressively defensive sometimes. The calm from my last post comes back to say sometimes it might be best to tell someone why what they are saying is making you uncomfortable before you ruin them with words. If they ignore that, then they are probably just bad people, cause they are willing to hurt you to make their point. Moreover it helps us get a more prominent perspective as to WHY we feel a certain way.

Like how I feel uncomfortable discussing some rape culture topics because I irrationally sometimes feel like they must be talking about me when they say most men, and to be honest they might be. It makes it super uncomfortable and I don’t like it, despite the fact that I also think it is important for me to kinda pull myself past that and keep looking so I can see where I am at fault, and also despite the fact me and my boyfriend will then immediately fantasize about our in the bedroom roleplay involving fake dubcon. Which is hot to us for reasons that are likely equally uncomfortable for plenty of folks, which I would want to know to know who I can discuss shared enjoyment of this with, and who I should try not to talk to.

At the end of the day where the line and veils are, aren’t as much a responsibility of the mods, they are there to enforce when people are stomping on that, but we as the community have to figure out what we are willing to accept.

Not to prolong this thread, but I want to publicly second Toast's remarks. There was a bit of a dog-pile on him, but I thought what he said was a pretty fair read of the situation on here lately.

I tend to shy away from reading "serious" debate threads on the forums now, but I'm pretty confident that the Israeli/Palestinian thread I was in a while back was borderline-appropriate the whole time (hence why I avoid threads now). Regardless, if you need an example, use that, since whenever I enter a debate its to help clarify my views on a subject by listening to and testing the arguments of others. I'm pretty sure I'm not unusual in that regard on here, so you can probably find other examples just by digging into the Current Events archive.

On the subject of Safe Spaces, this is a relevant article from the Guardian I stumbled upon today. I'll cite it to respond to the handful of people who have asked why a forum shouldn't be a safe space, as is commonly understood now. Note that I do not agree with all of the author's views, but I side with his general thesis (the left needs to work on its tolerance, particularly of sympathetic but different views).

And, for absolute clarity, this post has no relation to RMB.

This is Poch here, I'm gonna go on and break my temporary break for a minute.

A comment on safe spaces: I used to log on to chat and have to listen to one member, who no longer patronizes here (cabal49) joke abput raping my husband. Now, I understand there was no real threat of my husband being raped, but FUCK that is not funny and I should not have had to read that. Same member went on to "joke" that my husband kidnapped and forced me into marrying him. What the fuck? Again, I realize they were being ignorant, but actually no, no one should have to read bullshit like that.

I logged on to 8bits IRC chat when I was 14 (patronized by people who no longer post here) and was told pics or GTFO.

Kim has had to deal with transphobic comments. I can't elaborate on them because they're not burned into my memory, but yeah.

There are more, worse, instances but I'd feel really uncomfortable elaborating on them publically. You may judge that as you may. I have received unwelcome sexual advances on here that make me want to puke when I think about them. And if you think I'm unreasonable or unfriendly let me reiterate I met my husband on NPF.

I'm all for having reasonable discussions and not jumping on people over slight missteps. But when people who subjected me to comments like what I describe leave, the forum and chat does become a much more pleasant place. No one needs RMB's brazen racism or other members joking about raping people's spouses, thanks. That's where I draw the line. I don't even like the term safe space- I just don't want to deal with sexually threatening comments, or extreme racism, or transphobia. That's not unreasonable.

Overcast, your comment about Snake seems unnecessary and, well, mean. The fuck does anyone's sex life have to do with this? :| come on.

I'll say that I didn't intend any mean-ness by it, and it has nothing to do with anything other than how I absorb his unique character and definitely only marginally is related to the discussion here.

To elaborate, if you desire, I mean to say that he has been through a genuinely troublesome situation when it comes to his love life and I dunno if he is recovering much but he could do with finding someone new. Someone who can relate to him emotively sure, but I also feel like he hasn't gotten enough of a chance to explore himself sexually, partly due to his own morality on the matter. I feel like it could be a healthy thing for him and help him figure out a bit more about himself, I feel like everyone who hasn't had the opportunity could gain from that as well.

I'll be chilling in the chat for an extended period, probably better to bring this there if you still want to talk about it.

Upon re reading the thread (i read it last night but I just woke up and it's waaaaay too early here), I retract my comment, I missed the banter earlier in the thread and thought your comment just came out of nowhere, sorry.

Heh, its all good, you did it out of a good heart so I can't be mad about it.

ngl I'd prefer a small, insular community of like-minded "zealots" over a larger community where I have to put up with a rainbow of magical asshats.

That's IP theft, let's hash it out over lunch, I'll have my people sue your people.

Yeah, no, this stopped being anything close to a "Public" Space a long long time ago. This is a community of friends. It's private space. It's not unreasonable for people to be expected to try and learn to respect their small groups of friends individual natures within that context. Fuck "safe space", We're all supposed to be homies enough at this point that figuring out what hurts each other shouldn't be treated as "extra".


And I'm going to say at this point and say that to people like Toast, et. al. Look, maybe you're not RMB/Smarty(Cause this is seriously the Smarty Problem all over again) et.c. coming in trying to troll and be disingenuous and fake "nice". Maybe you're a good person. But maybe you also just have some fucked up ideas kicking around in your head.
All the apprehension you feel about "Just expressing my opinion" comes just as much from fear of reprisal as it does knowing that, yeah, maybe something's wrong with it.

We live in an inherently toxic society that poisions us all. Shit's fucked up. It fucks us up too. all of us, every one. You want to talk about it, get at me. Yelling won't happen but I'm also not going to NOT say shit's racist, Homophobic, e.t.c. when it is. You can't talk about a thing without talking about the thing. I'm not gonna blow sunshine up your ass, but I'm not going to kick it either.