The Ask a Trans Person Megathread
 

Note to the mods: I apologize if this turns into a shitfest, the goal is to reduce the frequency and/or intensity of future shitfests. It is also my hope that this can be a useful reference when making mod decisions regarding transgender topics.

After the most recent incident involving transgender issues, I feel like we are past due on tackling this head-on. We have had a number of incidents arise as a result of ignorance. Many of you have been learning about trans issues for the first time as a result of these...discussions and this is your opportunity to acquire the knowledge that you need before diving back into trans-centric conversations.

The purpose of this thread is to facilitate open and honest discussion for educational purposes. As far as I am concerned, no questions are off limits however, the mods may feel differently. With that said I'm going to throw out a

***trigger warning***

Before asking questions, I highly recommend doing some reading first. Since I don't have all of my old bookmarks on this computer, I'm linking to my own blog for simplicity's sake.
Transgender Glossary-Glossary of appropriate terms to use and why we use them.
Terms to Avoid-Glossary of terms to avoid and why you should avoid them.
Transition Guide-Transition guide meant for trans people but offers information about what transition is with emphasis on there being no true path to follow.
Dos and Don'ts-Written for the press, this covers how to interact with us and talk about us.
Trans Rights Movement Overview-Also written for the press, this covers our movement, our goals, our strategies, and what our opponents are doing.

There will be more links in the future (I want to find a good ally guide) but this should be a solid enough starting point. If you only read one link from that list, make it the glossary. Ask away!

I don't know if you're familiar with PBS's Idea Channel Youtube show, but the episode they released this week seems relevant.



One thing that was particularly interesting for me as a computer science guy is that the issue with Rimworld (whether or not you can really have unbiased code) has actually cropped up in a number of places over the last year. Most visibly, when Facebook caught all that flack for their news trending filters suppressing politically right-leaning articles more then left-leaning ones. The notion that systems we have built having baked-in bias is something we've accepted happens in our social institutions, but it seems like we're going to have to get used to the same being true of our technology.

I don't really have a specific question with this, so much as I'm generally curious about your reaction to the topics broached in the video, and whether you felt it was a respectful and/or insightful treatment of them.

I watched it a couple of times and found it to be generally insightful and respectful. Proper representation in games and other media has been an on-going problem forever. While it seems like a new phenomenon, we have actually been dealing with this our whole lives, even being significantly impacted by it in our youths (they said trans people are gross and I'm not gross so obviously I'm not trans). It has a tendency to set one back a bit in addition to other issues.

We absolutely have biases in our technology. Humans have biases, code is written by humans--> code has biases. Its unavoidable, but repairable. That's what's really important here and why criticism is so vital. It not only gives programmers the opportunity to rid their code of flagrant biases, but it also serves as an opportunity to point those biases out so that they can be overcome personally.

The thing about the "attractive lesbians" example is that, not only does it offer a glimpse into the inherent biases of the programmer, its also reflective of actual, negative real life experiences. When the guy in the video talks about uncovering politics, there is a nice example of it right there.

These are very real issues. Proper representation in media is important to us. Its the reason dominant groups get up in arms when minorities are "shoehorned" in and why we demand greater diversity in the first place. I haven't gone into deep detail, but that would be better served in smaller doses rather than one gigantic post.

So his approach was definitely insightful, how was it respectful?

The foundation of his approach is that he took what the critics had to say at face value. He didn't attempt to modify their arguments or undermine them at any level (they said this but I really I have to wonder if it isn't more like this). He accepted their authority on the topic and found a way to convey that analysis to the public. Everything he says adds to the point. Critics say that politics are already in games, he launches into his bit about how media uncovers politics that are already there. He doesn't say something like "generally that's true but in the case of the lesbians, since this is normal human behavior, there is no actual bias in the code because its simply reflecting real life".

He doesn't try to justify the actions of the programmers when they do wrong and he celebrates them when they do right.

To break it down:
-He accepts the authority of critics belonging to the affected groups and takes what they say at face value
-Does his own research to better his own understanding of the expressed viewpoints
-Uses that knowledge to further those viewpoints without modifying or undermining them

I thought of a question!
 

This thread is not nearly mega enough.

My question is: When an employee is transitioning, what is the graceful way for an employer to handle it, particularly with informing their co-workers in order to make sure they respect the person's new name and use the correct pronouns? Like do you have a mini-meeting or something where you say "X prefers to be called Y now" or... What? It feels like something you need to let your employees known because you don't want to let them figure it out themselves because they might not pick up on it, but it also feels like something you don't want to call unnecessary attention to.

Generally, its a good idea for the employer to ask the employee how they want to approach it.

That said, I personally feel that, in the case of someone starting transition at work, it is probably best to have some sort of meeting, be it with the entire staff or with department heads (based on company structure and size). If someone is transitioning at work then its going to be noticed and the trans person in question is going to be a gossip piece. That's pretty much unavoidable. It can be a hard pill to swallow for trans people but transitioning at work is almost always going to draw unwanted attention. Might as well get it out there in a supportive, educational manner.

When I came out at work, I only told my managers who then discussed it in a meeting but they did not relay the message to my co-workers. To be fair, the front end at Walmart is huge and having meetings is incredibly difficult, especially at the store I was working at. This resulted in me having to answer questions one-by-one so I was constantly being drilled with the same questions by many, many different people. To top that off, as a gossip piece, I had people I had never seen before from other departments asking me questions while I was on break or just walking by. It gets exhausting quickly. My managers told me they did have my back and that if I ran into any problems to contact them. I personally did not see their questions as offensive, just tiring so I never bothered to report anything.

As an educator by nature, that's just how I am. Many trans people aren't equipped for that/just don't want to deal with it.

It is arguably better in the long run to make sure employees are informed about the trans person's name and pronouns. It is also important for management to make it clear that they will support the trans employee and there will be problems if they refuse to respect them.

In addition to that, it is important for the company to respect the employee's restroom use. Oftentimes they try to draw some kind of line, but these are arbitrary and not always easy to define. It is better to support the trans employee's right to use the appropriate facilities in order to avoid issues of otherness, show respect to the employee, and to send the message to co-workers that the employee's gender is legitimate and should be treated as such. Neutral restrooms are not a viable solution unless the trans employee is able to weigh their options and decide that its the better solution.

My own experience with being restricted to the gender neutral only:

-I was a cashier and could not leave whenever I needed to use the restroom (the neutral restroom was located at the back of the store)
-It was always occupied and I refused to spend my break time waiting outside for it to open. This resulted in me taking double-length breaks (sounds awesome but its humiliating to sit there because you don't have any other option).
-As a trans woman, my hormone regimen includes a diuretic so I had to go frequently.

So, without taking my personal feelings into account, the neutral restroom failed to meet my needs as a practical measure.

So, much like the previous question (and this is a recurring theme in general) employers need to accept that the trans employee knows more about being trans than they do. They need to be willing to support the employee and move forward based on their wishes. The best solution to lack of understanding/acceptance is exposure. If you spend your time trying to spare others their discomfort, then they aren't going to acclimate and it sends a negative message regarding your own views on trans people. This makes it harder on everyone.

Something I have been curious about is what is the current thinking about about the divide between male/female in athletics and how it relates to transgender individuals.

This seems complicated because common thinking says that men are statistically stronger or whatever but I have no idea how much of this is actually bullshit and it seems like a super insensitive thing to have to go into detail over if someone who isn't cis is involved in competitive sports.

Obviously this is like, probably a pretty low priority since as a society we cant even really be OK with letting people go to the bathroom which is awful, but it's one of the issues I haven't heard of a solution to.

What your question really boils down to is do trans women have an advantage in women's sports and do trans men have a disadvantage in men's sports. The short answer is, no. The typical strength differences between men and women are hormone-driven. When we undergo hormone therapy, our strength is affected accordingly. I no longer possess the casual strength that I used to. When people ask me what I miss about my life pre-transition its a toss-up between my ability to open pickle jars and having the word "no" mean something.

There is a specific issue which trans men face though.

In sports, testosterone is widely regarded to be a performance enhancer. Because of this, trans men can, and are, disqualified from competing if they are on hormone therapy. This generally places trans men at a disadvantage because they are forced to keep their testosterone at female levels while competing against people who's testosterone levels are squarely in the male range. So the disadvantage comes from a problematic interpretation of the rules rather than trans men not gaining equivalent strength from testosterone therapy.

The problems we face when it comes to sports come down to people's incorrect thoughts as to who we are and how we function, as well as the lack of desire to exercise the smallest amount of critical thought when it comes to us. Allowing us to compete in the leagues that match our gender identity isn't only a matter of showing acceptance, we belong in them for the same reasons they exist in the first place.

As to whether or not sports should be segregated is another discussion altogether. As someone who isn't all that concerned with sports, I can't really speak too strongly on that. I would like to see some movement into more integrated leagues if for no other reason than to see what happens.

On a more complicated note (I avoided this in the main part of my post), the existence of non-binary people really throws a wrench in the whole gender segregation thing as a whole. I believe the NB movement is going to go a long way to breaking those barriers.

Interesting! Competitive sports are interesting to me in theory but most pro organizations are corrupt and bloated beauracacies so in practice I kind of hate them? From what you're describing I can see how the gender divide in sports might seem fair from a conventional standpoint, and would benefit from some rules to be be inclusive for people who are transitioning. But also making gender such a big deal in sports in the first place makes it seem like society has terrible priorities.

Thanks for answering my question!