jokes and riddles
 

just tell jokes or riddles :D

i got lots(including my sig.)

a man and woman were in a car and it breaks down. the man gets out to go to the nearest gas station. he locks the doors and stuff theres no sunroof. and when the man gets bak his wife is dead and theres a stranger in the car.
how did the wife die, and who is the stranger :confused:
--------------------
yyuryyubicuryy4me (translate)
--------------------
1
11
21
1211
3112
??????
(wut comes next)
-------------------
witn? (what is the next letter?)
-------------------
a man wants to get into a club, but he needs a password. so he hides in the ally and waits. a man walks up to the door and knocks the man who answers says 12, and the man who knocked says 6, the next man comes and knocks, answerer says 6, and one who knocked says 3. the man hiding thinks hes heard enough and knocks the man who answers the door says 10, and the man who knocked says 5, but he doesnt get into the club. what should he have said?????? :confused: (youll never get this one)
------------------
wuts the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?(joke)
a. the golfer goes *WACK* sh*t, and the skydiver goes shi*t *WACK.
-------------------
good news:bob is on a plane
bad new: bob plans to jump off
good news:bob has a parachute
bad news:it doesnt work
good news:theres a haystack below him
bad news: theres a pitchfork in the haystack
good news:he missed the pitchfork
bad news: he missed the haystack
good news: hes alive!!!
bad news: the farmer doesnt like ppl on his property
good news: hes not on the farmers property
bad news: he's on nazi land
worse news: hes a jew

1) The stranger is a chest burster. The wife has an alien inside her, then it bust out when he was getting gas.

2) Some sort of word

3) 211213

4) ?

5) Let me in or I will kill you.

all of your answers are wrong

Opps, did 3 wrong.

131221

And the other ones aren't wrong, just different answers you expected. The first one could work at least.

ok 131221 is right but the other ones are definately wrong

1. Is a stowaway. Or the guy went all Secret Window and killed his wife, got out of the car, walked three feet, then thinks he sees someone else.

2. I dunno, yruic4me?

3. eer...411321

4. u

5. He shoulda said "I'mthe police, cut out the number shit."

I've got one. A spanish fireman has twins. He names one Jose, what does he name the other?

umm
1. is wrong
2. is wrong
3. already answered
4. is wrong
5. is wrong too...( it has to do with the numbers man)

he names the other twin esoj?? or fire.. or OMG IM ON FIRE
or jose

1) either his wife was pregnant and died during birth or she's menstral and his sweet bride has turned into a pyschopath.

ummmm the pregnant and died during childbirth part was right... but pyschopath???