Spiders
 

Is it me, or are there a hell of a lot more spiders around this year than there were before?

I went out to mow the lawn today and had to start with my huge and expansive backyard, which hadn't been cut in about a month. However; when I walk out into the backyard, it's like a scene cut straight out of one of Peter Parker's Wet Dreams!

There were at least three webs that stretched at least one meter in length; webs barring exit through any of the gates to the front yard; an entire spider web that stretched from our big ol' oak to the white fence a meter away; and fifty thousand other ones throughout our property.

Now I'm not a guy who hates spiders; I recognize that they are efficient in getting rid of annoying mosquitoes and other blood-suckers.

[lie] In fact; at the start of the summer, I sat down with the Dark Lord of the Arachnids: Gary, and made a deal with him. As long as he and his friends stayed out of my house and left me alone, I wouldn't kill them for having a few webs on my property. [/lie]

But that in no way was an invitation to have a couple 8-legged orgies in my back yard and not clean up the mess!

Now I'm a dishwasher by trade; and I have to deal with a lot of disgusting things in my line of work. But mowing that lawn was the grossest thing I had to do in a long time. ICK!

So have you noticed that there are a lot more spiders in your area?

what about size? the ones around here are about as big as two fingertips pushed together.

What is your general household policy on Spiders? What do you think of them?

Ever have one as a pet?

So have you noticed that there are a lot more spiders in your area?
Yep, I actually noticed that as well. They mainly are on a bridge I cross in order to get to my class. There are a helluva lot more then there were last year...

what about size? the ones around here are about as big as two fingertips pushed together.
Well, mine are about as large as the top joint of my thumb. Pretty damn large if you ask me.

What is your general household policy on Spiders? What do you think of them?
Generally, I leave them alone. It they are in a area where they have to be removed (Example, my bed) Then I would be very careful about it.
I think that they are very cool, I like just watching them spin their webs.

Ever have one as a pet?
Nope, but I've had a Cockroach as a pet before! ^_^ I was thinking about getting one though.

My General philosophy on Spiders, bugs in general, is that I don't trust anything with more legs then brain cells.

Oh yeah, I forgot to add: Share your Spider Stories if you wish.

Personally my policy is if they're small I'll pick-em up and drop em outside to get the 'skeeters, or leave 'em there if they don't seem to be going anywhere (you know; have a mini web in a corner or something). If they're medium sized it goes the same for the small spiders; but the moment the touch the floor or lower wall they become fair game for the stompin' boot. Large ones are instantly killed. They're just icky.

Spiders appearing in any area I have to live in have to deal either with the big glass/cardboard combination or the vacuum, depending on how daring I feel at that particular moment.

Actually the only ones that have to suffer from that kind of horror vacui are the big, thin-legged and, above all, fast ones. The others I would have no problem approaching with the glass. Pity they stay out of the house by themselves.

Which has thrown me into some moral arguments with myself when I needed something from outside a spider had affixed a web onto. If I had just spent a few hours weaving a delicate pattern between a tree and a ladder and some oaf comes along and takes the ladder away I'd be pretty pissed too.

But as I said. If it's in the house, it has to go. By all means necessary.

Yes, but all bets are off once said web catches Said Oaf... as happened several times while mowing the lawn... ICK! Besides, it's bad luck to make a web under a ladder. :D

Well, my general policy with spiders is leave'em be, unless they're a) in my room, or b) potentially deadly. In that case, I greet them with the business end of my steel-shod foot. As for spider stories, there was this one time that I found one in my shoe. Unfortunately, I was wearing it at the time. I felt a sort of sting on one of my toes, but I didn't think to much about it. All of a sudden, the sting became a stabbing, throbbing pain. I took my shoe off, and this spider the size of a quarter fell out. Fortunately for me, it wasn't poisonous. Unfortunately for that little bugger, I was mad so I squished him good.

A spider story? Hmmm....Well, there was once a spider that resided in my shower stall. It wouldn't move, even when I was showering (it was alive though, I poked it and it moved). A peeping spider perhaps?

Mo' like a pimpin' spider! It was probably Gary.

I have a slightly less proud story to tell. About five years back I was helping my sister clean out the Hamster Cage. She took the cage part and it was my turn to clean the bottom. So I go to the launtry Room sink and start washing it, and my eyes sort of drift down and what do I see, but a spider about 1 1/2 inches long starring right back up at me, legs flayed in defensive position.

I screamed like a little sissy girl and ran out of the laundry room.

Then I got a roll of paper towel, got about 12-15 pieces, and proceeded to squish the icky bugger. All the time my sister was ROFLHAO.

Well, with webs that big I'd begin to ponder if it isn't time to move further away from that nuclear plant. The background being that I live quite close to one. The oldest in the whole country no less.

And now that I think about it, we grow really big vegetables in the garden...

Back on track with the spiders... not too long ago I actually caught one that approached me while I was watching Being John Malkovich. One of the fast ones. And yes, that was the first time I caught one, but there are worse cases of arachnophobia out there and shut up.
Anyway, on sight, I immediately used my teleportation powers to get the heck out of my armchair and to the door...
... got the big glass...
... and stood there for a good few minutes trying to convince myself to go near the spider so I could trap it, arguing with the part of my brain that insisted the spider would instantly jump me and devour my brain if I got closer to it than seven feet.

Now, the spider pretty much did the opposite, i.e. sat there doing nothing. It gave the impression it would happily continue to do that all evening whether I came closer with the glass or continued watching my movie or ran away or stripped naked and did the Hokey Pokey. All in all it seemed pretty indifferent. But even so... you know how there's this statistic saying you consume eight spiders during your life while you're asleep? I figured that was worse enough to know without being able to pinpoint one of those eight nights.

I mean, imagine letting the spider roam freely and the next morning looking for it with the intent to throw it out and not finding it...

So yeah, I caught it. I even pushed a piece of cardboard (for which the package of one of our kitchen appliances had to give its life) under the glass, but then I pretty much let it sit there all night and had someone else throw it out the next morning. I did push it over into the shadow though.

And then I finished watching my movie.

I never said there would be a punchline.