"MAAAAARG!" SAAM Drawled. "MY could Muse smome Hmelp! My've Tmapped mout in thma smumbmission of mlife."

He then began to inch towards the door. "I'll bmwee mwight bwack. My hmaf tmo get my mwips dwaimed."

(OOC) Um, translation please?

"Arrrrrg! I could use some help! I've tapped out in the submission of life. I'll be right back, I have to get my lips drained."

ooc: Sorry terrible wording but I'm rather tired. That was ment to be a description of what was supposed to happen not what did. I just forgot the qualifier. In short *amnesia dust*. I wonder how much will she really has because she seems to be having a hard time with the pretty boys. A question that must be answered.

ic: Seeing and hearing Flarecobra's arrival Sithdarth turned inflicting his attempted mind trick on the departing SAAM instead. "Just playing a little joke..." he began when he had realized his recent error and hoped that whoever he had just hit had high will power or was realtively weak.

"Ok. Have fun." Cobra said, and headed off to her room, but when she noticed how bad SAAM looked, she decided to be nice to him, and did a quick Cure-2 on him.

SAAM's lips shrunk considerably. "Woah!" he said. "They're normal again!" He grabbed his ass. "and my Hemerrhoids are gone!"

*FF1 victory music*

"wow!" SAAM then proceeds to say. "I feel a lot better now! Thanks Cobra, for that you get a Shag!"

before Cobra could beat him again, SAAM produced a beautiful carpet sample of Shag Carpeting.

Cobra just gave him a look, then walked off to her room.

Cloud turned to Thaumaturge. "Well, since we seem to not be the partygoing types, what say I give you a tour of the Highwind. I can also show you the new type of Materia I've found." Cloud turned to go to the Highwind, then stopped for a moment. "That's funny, I could've sworn I heard a rustic form of FF victory music. Oh, well."

EDIT: OOC: YOu know, after reading Flarecobra's sig, I just realized something. DB is currently a long-haired prettyboy. Hmm....

OOC: Yeah, but Sephiroth is also a long-haired prettyboy...and Flarecobra's sig mentions finding the right long-haired prettyboy.

IC: "He's absolutely right..." Dragonsbane nodded, agreeing with his bardic friend, "Escorting such a lovely maiden is truly the highlight of our respective evenings!" he also flashed a dazzling smile at RD.

Thaumaturge nodded to Cloud. "That would be an excellent idea. Would you lead the way? And new materia, you say... I'm intrigued..." The victory music carried across the night air. "Hmm... you're right. Someone just leveled up"

Jad passes out drunk.

RD felt a familiar twinge, somewhere inside her mind. One of those Technomages is trying to get inside my head, she observed with interest. The magickal resonance is far too static to belong to a more traditional caster, or a wild talent.

She casually studied the bard and the mage to either side of her, quite entertained by their carrying on. They must've sensed it, too, I guess...I s'pose I'm just lucky it's not one of these guys...I'm not sure I would've fought it off nearly as well.

"Okay, well, what's good here? I'm thinking Captain & coke for starters...what're you two dashing gents having, hmm? And...did the bartender just pass out? That's...possibly not a good sign."

SAAM walked over to Thaum as he attempted to manipulate the thoughts of others. "What, do you think you're some sort of Jedi, waving your hands like that? I'm a Slightly Above Average Man, mind tricks don't work on me."

He paused for a moment and considered. "Wait. How well does it work on the ladies though? I'd consider learning it myself."

Thaumaturge looked at SAAM in confusion. "Err... I'm not doing anything to anyone's thoughts; it's not the sort of magic that I ususally use. Cloud was just about to give me a tour of the Highwind..."

OOC: SAAM, Thaum and I are outside, where the play took place. Niether one of us ever went to the bar. That being said, it seems you travelled a ways rather quickly. We'll just go with it.

IC: "Actually, yes, I was about to give him a tour of the Highwind. Would you like to come along, SAAM?" As they turned towards the Highwind, Cloud whispered to Thaumaturge, "I'll just show the new materia to you later, Thaum."

"Why not." SAAM replied. "There doesn't seem to be much else to do now."

SAAM followed them, planing on getting a better idea of his surroundings.

A couple of hours later, at about midnight, Cobra's phone rang. Answering it, she went from being 99% asleep to 100% awake in about a second "What!? Ok, I'll see if I can't round up some people. Just try to delay them for a bit!" with that, she quickly changed into a flight suit, and ran out in search of the others.

After a few minutes, she found some. "Bad news. We've got a ton of invading spammers incoming. Could I ask for your help in defeating them?"

Suddenly a stream of spam started heading straight for the bar, reading:

U sux, U guyz nedz 2 go hmoe adn screwz urselfz lol lol lol. F7F suxed cuz Cuold waz a cry beby. Bill Gatez Wantz to rulz teh world Tahtz y xbozx suxz. I hatz haxers on countre stike wear cna i get haxs for countre stike so i cna kil thsoe noobs. im new to teh hole haxer thing lol lol lol. soemone hepl me otu?

The words echoed in his mind over and over again, a language he had not heard since he joined along side those known as "The Nuklearpower Forumers." His native tounge, 1337, but instead of warming his heart as it would have long before, a deep sensation of hatred was formed, a burning rage bubling out from deep inside, he needed to do but three things to prepare.
*U U U U U L R L R L A B L B*
*R R R B L B L U D A A D R A*
*R U A B A D D A D*
He knew it worked, even though he had never needed to resort to such things, even though he still didn't require them the hatred won out over reason, he had to use his skills against enemies who longed for them.
"All items, infinite ammo, god mode." he said to himself in a cold voice as he stood up on the rooftop and flew, his newly aquired jetpack kicking in, toward the horde of spammers and their dark weapon spam. Unloading chainguns, rocket launches, plasma rifles, fragmentation grenades, and everything else, and he had everything at his disposal. He landed and stood on the ground surrouned by the bodies of his enemies dual pistols armed before shooting those who moved again.

He lifted his head basking in the moonlight before taking flight into the swarm of the rest of them. "Damn you, damn you all to hell."

Dragonsbane was about to order a drink, when something, a sense of utter and impending wrongness, grated across his brain.

"Spammers..." his eyes narrowed, "Reality, Cheshire, something horrible is comming. I have a spell to battle them, but it may be dangerous. The two of you may prefer not to go into battle against them, if so, I suggest you remain here."

OOC: I feel sorry for RD. This is what we could call a sausage fest.

Wandering Actor showed up fashionably late, as usual.
"Ah, a good drink is just what I could use now after a succesfull sh-"
He stopped as his actor's sense went haywire and an immense sense of wrongness threatend his mental status. To recover and combat it, he quickly adopted a meditating stance and began to hover five feet in the air, eyes closed, totally blocked from the world and the attack.

OOC: Yes...if CT makes ONE MORE innuendo-filled joke, I'll tie his tail in a knot...

IC: Dragonsbane blinked with faint surprise as he saw Actor meditating, then snapped his fingers. His staff and katana appeared in his hands, "They're coming..."

Sithdarth felt the ripples in the living force, which was strange since he had no ideal what the living force was. He reflexively reached for his newest invention. It was some sort of sword with a blade made of energy. Then leaping into the air, much higher than he thought possible, he landed on the roof of a nearby building and started dismembering the incoming spammers and their annoying weapons. This was going to be a long fight.

Cloud was in the middle of giving Thaumaturge and SAAM the grand tour of the Highwind, when one of the crew told him of the immense number of spammers coming this way. Turning to Cid, he told him, almost matter-of-factly, "You can take care of this." Cid, smiling, turned to the crew.
"Helmsman!"
"Sir!"
"OPEN FIRE!!!"
Dozens upon dozens of rockets were launched from the Highwind. With a look of satisfaction on his face, Cloud turned and continued the tour as if nothing had happened. "Over here is the-are you guys coming, or not?" Cloud asked SAAM and Thaumaturge.

SAAM held up a finger in a "one moment please" gesture. He ran away, and after much banging and sawing, came back with a large cage, a piece of Rope, and a sign.
Setting it up, he hammered the sign in; it read:

"1337 5p33k3r5 g37 fr33 k00k135 h3r3!!!!1111oneone"

Suddenly, swarms of spammers flocked to the sign and waited impatiently, spewing out unintelligable babble quite loudly. As the majority of them approached, the cage dropped, capturing them and exhiling them to perminent Bannination.

"Okay," SAAM said. "Now we can go."

RD concentrated on the tiny molecules of the air, and channeled just a bit of energy into them, shaping them, solidifying them, into...a giant net.

"Here, let's catch a few before this wave is destroyed. If we can get them to stop being spammers, and release them back into their colony, maybe they'll neutralize the threat from within. Like a virus, but, good. I don't know if they'll listen to reason, but I don't think it would be entirely unreasonable to suspect that a few of us here might have access to Mind magick, eh?

RD grinned and headed outside, swinging her net. "I was a pro at bug-catching when I was a kid...I think this might be even more enjoyable."

Dragonsbane closed his eyes, opening himself to the power of the Weave as he chanted his spell. Standing on top of the building with the bar, he had a fine view of the Spammers below. RD had left at the same time he had, but he had immediately Teleported himself up here...where he could make this spell work.


Magic flowed through him, and he felt something approaching...a presence that embodied the force he was channeling.

One metamagicked spell, Holy Mystra? his thoughts echoed through the Weave...and the presence heard.

Granted.

Dragonsbane grinned, feeling the Meteor Swarm he had prepared earlier change...altered in his mind as the metamagic affected it, "Intensified spell, perfect..."

Great orbs of flame erupted from his fingertips, orbiting him as he picked the best targets, "Time for some serious flaming..." Explosions rocked the building as the fireballs slammed into the masses of spammers, his voice rising above the chaos as he shaped the spell to avoid his friends. Another quick incantation, and several were immobilized...

Not all were destroyed, but a good number of the spammers had been reduced to smoldering ash. It was overkill, but spammers are often to stupid to die otherwise.

Leaping back down, he landed agilely beside RD...his cloak spreading like wings to keep him from being harmed by the impact.

"You asked for captured spammers, lady Reality?" he grinned, bowing as he indicated the ones he had immobilized with his spell.

Thaumaturge watched Cloud and SAAM taking care of the spammers, musing on whether his help was needed. He looked out at the spammers. The other two seemed to have it more or less under control, but nevertheless... he casted a spell, sending a group of wisps after the spammers, herding them with little zaps of sarcasm back to their point of origin.

"Hopefully that's the last that we'll see of them," he said. "Now, where were we?"

Sadly, that was only the first wave. On the horizon, barely visable through the smoke of destroyed fighter-drone wreakage, a fleet of transports were coming on. "Ok, I think simple spells isn't enough for this. You know, I do have a couple of Mechs in storage. That may take care of them. Anyone want to help out?"

Hearing a great thundering sound from the back of the island, our heros turn and look upon what seems like hundreds of spam ships. The foremost of these ships have already starting the spam-bombing of the island. They were using the worst of the spam, the l33t bombs. It would only be a matter of hours before the island would be spammed to devistation.

"Damn! They're using the 1337 (shudder) bombs." Cloud pulled out his cell, and dialed in a number. "Hello? Sithdarth? Remember that Unbreakable Shield you were working on? Well, now would be a good time to put it to use!!!"

h4x flew straight toward the new brigade of his breathern before he noticed something. His god mode wasn't working... his clothing was singed and torn yet he remained unaffected. *Of course my 1337 origins make me immune to 1337 attacks* He flew off again switching from rocket packs to dark angel wings. There was only one way he could stop them.

"1 4l\/l 7}-{3 h4x.m4g3 t3h 0n3 j00 w4n7." he said stopping in front of the ship and staring into the cockpit. He could see the reaction immeadiately the startled expression on his face. He could hear him from inside "0MG 1 (4U6}-{7 }-{1M. 0P3N B4Y D00R$" The doors opened near the front and two spamming lutenants came out to escort him aboard. The ships turned around and began to fly off into the sky, its target in being observed on the bridge.

"At least they'll leave the island alone now" he muttered.

"They have taken a friend of mine...and they shall pay for it." hearing Flarecobra's plan, he nodded, "I'm taking a 'mech and going after them...if you're with me, hurry."

Not stopping to see who followed, he headed for the mech hangar.

Dragonsbane got into his Anubis mech, speaking into the commlink, "So...what's our plan of attack, Flarecobra?"

The spam lutenants dragged h4x.m4g3 to a special spam relocater, which then teleported him to a new ship, one much grander than ever imagined. Then they escorted him to a grand hallway and then finally to a giant room, which reesembled a throne room of sorts. At the other end seemed to be a throne looking out over the fleet of spam ships. The lutenants shouted something of such spam that even h4x.m4g3 couldn't understand. Then the throne spun around revieling a chocobo of sorts (Its me hehe). Immediately after spinning around the chocobo shouted "F1na13 f0nd u h4x.m4g3, 4 ur 0wn s4ft3 w3 su993st u c0p3r413"

"7311 l\/l3 j002 p14l\l" h4x said giving the chocobo the coldest stare he had. In the back of his mind he was checking his inventory and spell list. If they won't leave the island alone, I'll take them all out* He found the item he was looking for and continued to stare at the chocobo. "1 4l\/l 3><p321l\l7 h4 (0l)3l\l4lVl3l) x 73$7 m4 $l_ll3J3(7 g3." revealing the origins of his name h4-x-m4-g3 or h4x.m4g3.

The memories of his creation came back to his mind the sudden birth, no creation that would be the proper term. Simply coming into exsistence full grown full made, composed completely of peices of the internet, video games and other electronically stored data. It gave him his power, and first thrust him into the spammer army. For a full year he had served them, and for a full year they had never had any success in recreating the experiment. And then they sent him here, the one area no spammer had ever successfully infiltrated. Intrigued by this new place he had settled, and became a member of society here, leaving his spammer roots behind forever, or so he thought.

*I won't let them hurt my new friends*

\/\/3 5[-]411 7u1 2 13[-] 7[-]453. The Chocobo says, reilizing that this new time of spam that hasn't been fully developed yet is making it hard for both of them, he decides its best to speak regularly."We shall cut to the chase h4x.m4g3. The last time we tried to recreate you has failed and left me in this condition. I need you to unleash your anti-cheat cheat and dispell which what am i cursed with. If you do not comply your island that you have failed to spam will then be spam-nuked." Then out of the shadows, 12 men in dark robes come out of the shadows, then wiping out their controllers, they hit some many buttons so fast that it causes the area around h4x.m4g3 to glow in a electric like field.

OOC:God I'm sick of talking in spam.

"Wait!" called Reality Deviant, running after Dragonsbane. "I wanna help! Let's go Voltron Force! Or something...*pant, pant*
"How hard can it be to figure out how to drive one?" She wondered aloud as she ran. "It'll be just like a video game...."

(OOC) Then don't. Remember, there's subtitles.

Cobra made it into her Eva, climbed in, and started up the actvation process. As soon as she was able to, she opened up a comm line to DB and said "What do you think? We're going to hold them off as long as we can, and if they try to invade, well, we'll deal with it then." What she didn't say was <If we survive that long, that is.>

OOC: So am I

"You've done this to yourself" he said pausing to think, he's threatening to destroy the island, but at the same time if he despelled him... what if he had his powers too, he would be unstopable. *If he has powers then he could still try to destroy the island, DB, SAAM, CT, RD, BMG! all of them... I can't let the spam destroy all of them.

"You want my strength don't you? If I do this you'll become just like me won't you?" In the back of his mind he weighed the decissions in the back of his mind. "And then what will stop you from carying out your plan?" He thought carefully for a while taking his time with his decission.

Wandering Actor was still caught in his trance of power, as a light aura began to glow around him.

"What, are you doubting your own powers, you've had your powers for at least a year." There field that was surrounding him is starting to slowly shrink."I'vd had no practice with mine, so what makes you think I would be able to use them just like that? Besides, would you rather die now and get your island nuked, or spare your island from my power and live to fight another day?"

RD screeched to a halt.

"Woah...what is Wandering Actor doing? I thought his only power was to look good. This could be interesting..."

"Live" the word echoed in his head again and again running its weigh through his mind. He had but one option. He held his right hand out to the edge of the energy feild. He closed his eyes and the skin on his hand began to melt... "You won't kill me... you need me, but I can't let you go on." his hand began to reform still barely contained with the energy field but something was off... that wasn't his normal hand that's...

A nintendo power glove... "I have the power..." he said before leaping through the energy field. His body landed in a thump on the other side badly charred and breathing

OOC:Is this the end of our hero?

IC: "enjoy your miserable existance" he said before his body relaxed, no longer breathing. His vital signs dropped to zero, h4x.m4g3 was dead.

OOC:It looks like it.