Paper! Mmm mmm good!
 

Yes. So delicious.

Well, actually, paper is rather bland, tastes sorta like very bland apples, with a very low solidity and gains the texture of gum after a few chews. Of course, it's rather hard to swallow, as in it's gum-like state it's difficult to chew on.

Which is why, when eating paper, you must remember to rip off SMALL pieces and swallow before taking another bite.

I seriously have eaten paper. In fact, as a study to make sure it really DOES taste like apple, I tried another bit. It does. Just very, very bland.

Discuss.

Wait... aren't most kinds of modern paper full of toxic chemicals that gives it its neat, clean and white appearance?

All I know is I'm not dead yet!

Insert emphasis.

I've eaten paper YEARS ago. It's not like it's "I started eating paper this week guys!"

Also, on a similar subject, grass is pretty good too.

The grass I'll agree o-
Wait, you mean like the lawn?

Well here's two
 

Actually the newer paper is better than the older stuff. Most paper you'll see has "Acid Free!" on it. That acid stuff was what made the paper turn yellow after at least 15 years after being made.



Grass tastes too much like chlorophyll. I prefer celery.

But the older stuff still counts as "modern" paper, ah!
It's good to know it's getting better, and that books won't have that ugly, seventies look in the future.

Those plastic lids you get with your drinks at mcdonalds are pretty nice and chewy.

I've tried paper and grass, but plastic!? there's nothing anything like food there!
_mike