A less-than-perfect relationship
 

Me and my girlfriend have been going out for a pretty long time now, since May 7, but through the many months i have found one reoccuring problem. Neither of us are very good at talking to the other. What i mean by this is that on da phone, there are always long scilences where nothing is said and the rest of the time we talk about mostly meaningless stuff (how was your day? What did you do in school?)

So my question is, how shoud i go about talking on the phone with her?

I hate not to help with your personal issues, but I think this section is meant for more world-wide and nation-wide topics rather than relationship counseling.

No, this thread is also used for personal things. Look at the stickies.

I am an overly shy person who hates his voice, so the last thing I can give advice on is conversation, but as a quick tip try complimenting her. It will either help her to relax and converse or at the very least make her feel better about herself, and while not your origional goal it would be a nice perk would it not?

Allright then, now that I know I was wrong before, I'll pitch in:

Try finding a topic you are both interested in: a relationship is built upon something both of you feel passionately about.

I can't claim to be an expert, so take whatever advice I give with a grain of salt.

That having been said, I have to agree that you have to find a topic that you agree on and feel passionatly about. Small talk is pretty good to start a conversation, but don't talk about about everything right away. Keep a couple of meaningless topics to fill those awkward silences you were talking about. On the other hand, you have to change topics to something meaningful at some point. It's up to you to find the right time and topic. That's just not anything that I can help you with.

Other than that, the only thing I can say is to keep phone conversations to minimum and make them quick. See how she's doing, then get to the point and end it there. Of course, this only works if you're better with face-toface conversations. If you're not, I don't know what to tell you.

I hope this helps you a little bit. Good luck.

Just ask yourself, what would Ran do!

Or, come into #bobandgeorge and ask him yourself XD

</Ran fanboy>

Anyway, it is a horrible thing to be shy in one anothers presence. How touchy feely are you right now? Maybe it would help break the ice if you were.

Depends on how the silences are... my girlfriend and I can spend hours on the phone, and if we have nothing to say sometimes spend hours not sayign anything. It's not always a bad thing if you don't talk a lot, sometimes it jsut means you're so comfortable with each other that it doesn't matter if you are or aren't always talking...

are you comfortable with the situation?

There is no way anyone can say "the perfect relationship is X". Relationships between people are different. if you and your gf are comfortable with out too much talking... then don't talk much.

I used to feel awkward riding in the car with my girlfriend not saying anything. So id always try to bring up some topic. But sometimes, its ok to just ride in silence.

but, your mileage may vary. Do what feels right.

If the silence is awkward, say something.

You know, maybe you should talk to her about it. Tell her how you feel. It'll open up more things to talk about.