"Well, even though it's rather past the point at this point, I'll tell you. You're CEO broadcast the opposite of what you are going to do. But, there is the catch. This is an random field, not an opposite or reversing field. If it was an opposite field, it would be amazingly easy to handle, but it's a random field. As such, while broadcasting the opposite of what you are going to do would work sometimes, it wouldn't work all the time because it's random. Get what I'm saying?"

"As for the your flaw logic, Newb," Toastburner said, "while technically you would expect a flaw not to work, it's only if you knew of the flaw. Again, Jada fully expected the CEO to work, and as such, while it randomly could of worked, it shouldn't of worked as good as it did. Except for the random chance that it randomly decided to work, which seems astromonically improbable, even consider the current situation of the improbable being the norm."

Toastburner sighed. "But, then again, it's kind of a mute point. At least, it is in this area. So...if you'll excuse me."

Toastburner Zero-Shifts away, and appears next to Monk.

"While it would be easier just to blast you, I am a self-proclaimed good guy, so I'll have to do this another way." Toastburner said. With that, since he was still inside the stable pocket inside the random field, he pulled out his techno-reaper, sliced a rift in space-time, and pushed Monk through it.

Toastburner turned back to Jada and Newb. "I figure, at the very least, it will be more annoying for you guys to have to fight the rest of us off in a random field instead of a stability field. That is, of course, unless you have a good reason why your opposite tactic should work in a random field, eh, Jada?"

OOC: Nice try.

IC: Jada still had the Calvinball, and he was smiling ear to ear at what has been going on. He was ready for it. He always had been.

"SM," Jada said, "thinking and wishing something won't happen is not enough. You must EXPECT it not to happen. And you others do not comprehend the perfection of my CEO. I programmed it with exact opposites, but they're scrambled completely randomly, which means the most random thing to happen would happen. If I expect a sword to appear, then the CEO probably expects a sack of strawberry cream banana apple pound cakes or something.

"Case in point, I shall get a sword now," Jada said, and a sword appeared in his hand. "Now I'll check on the CEO to see what it expected...

...

"Oh God, peanut butter should NOT be used that way."

"Oh, well, in that case, make sure to explain it goes through a randomizer instead of just opposites." Toastburner muttered. "Would of saved me a long explaination."

Toastburner's sensors told him the stable bubble in the random field was being to collaspe, since his sent Monk back to his own dimension.

For us to beat Jada, we have to take out his CEO. And we'd better do it before the stable bubble fully collaspses, otherwise it's just a bunch of us doing random crap verus Jada being able to act to his own will.

Toastburner had only one chance before the random field reached him, a which point he'd be reduced to walking around in circles again. He scrolled through is weapons. He stopped on a subweapon that was towards the bottom of his list.

GEYSER! It might just work!

In the Zone of the Enders universe, the place that Toastburner tapped when he upgraded his armor, GEYSER was a subweapon designed to short out enemey orbital frames long enough to inflict heavy damage before their systems could reset. The CEO part of Jada's brain was, obviously, much smaller than an OB, even if applied to scale of Toastburner's power armor. And Toastburner doubted it had the same shielding as a frame either.

Toastburner charged the weapon, and flung out the three energy streams just as the random field caught up with him. He dared not move, afraid that he would miss to see rather or not his plan worked.

OOC: you only occasionally do godmoddy things, but slightly more often than other people.

i didn't realize you had missed the soul loss thing, but your explanation that you are a soul seems to lack something, it is definitely on the border

IC: "um, um, um, aha!"
Newb pulled out prince of persia and rewound to before Monk had dissappeared.
or at least he tried to
"oh yeah, no batteries"
He instead decided to simply spit at kirby while the bubble lasted
the acid hit kirby and dissolved away a part of him, which then came back.
But at this point, link arrived with a moon pearl.
"took you long enough, destroy kirby!"
now the even match had been tipped, and it was going the other way again.
Megaman quickly used the life sword to slice kirby in half, and then used momquake on the two halves.
kirby flashed twice, and turned back to pink.
"the three of you, stop that horde coming from apparently nowhere."
they turned to face this new threat

Jada flew 3,000 feet in the air, making sure to avoid any possible--or impossible--bombardment. They'll want to destroy the CEO, Jada thought. Or worse, copy it. Of course, there's only one way they COULD do that, but it's pretty much impossible. Problem is, that will work to the advantage of some and to the disadvantage of others. So who should I defend against? Those who are random, or those with control?

Then he got an excellent idea.

Newb cast about for something useful to do.
That's when he saw it, set into the ground.
An outlet.
He casually walked over and plugged in his ts, the battery filling back up faster than normal.
"now, let's see, how to win, how to win."
He first pulled out a piece of reverse wood, and threw it at arhra, reversing his chaotic nature, then continued by pulling out a magic copy machine which would allow him to load multiple character files at once.
He inserted the appropriate cartridges into the machine, and brought forth Interface and his original, human form.
He handed the ts to the human Newb, and changed his name to Alasp, to alleviate future confusion.
Newb pulled out a quiver to go with the bow, and handed it to Alasp.
Then he started drawing spells out of the ts, and equipped them or handed them off.
for instance, he gave interface 100 drain spells.
Then he pulled out teleportation keys, capable of opening a pocket dimension if inserted into a solid object.
At this point, he decided that having access to greater power than simply 100%battery power, he might as well use it.
He began channeling energy, casting spells left and right, doing far more than he could even with 500% battery power, decimating those not allied to him.
Once he was sure that his team had the ball, and the others were down for the count, he opened the command menu and ended the game, thus effectively winning it.

THE END

OOC: most of that was to set up for the next game, and before anyone objects, please keep in mind that I probably won't find very many power outlets, and if I do find more, I will not abuse them again, I only did this time because I was out of power and it was ending time. also, the keys make it so that I don't have to have all of them in each game, I could leave some of them at home, so to speak. this is an advantage for the rest of you

Chaos Theory
 

OOC: Actually, the body is pure soul thing is canonical D&D. It applies to all demon, celestials, slaad and modrons and the others. 'Cos the Outer Planes are places of belief, not material. It doesn't really get mentioned in the newer material however. I did still say it managed to yank away a part of his essence though. Generous of me considering how god moddy the attack was. Which reminds me, I'm getting sick and tired of whenever I leave an attack open ended, it more often than not gets ignored. Anyway, here's my idea for an ending.

As Jada begins to implement his idea, he had forgotten about the entropic bolt Arhra had fired at him. Arhra's also taking the precaution of 'leaning' on Toastburner's triple energy stream with the improbability field. Arhra's chaos bolt misses but the energy streams turns into hundreds of ninja's leaping at Jada. Ninjas who can temporarily short out orbital frames. They pile on him, ninja starring, ninja swording and ninja pummeling him. Jada's doing alright for himself, but then Arhra's bolt curves backwards and impacts into Jada's back, who's now hidden inside a sphere of swarming ninjas.

The explosion lights up the sky sending pieces of black cloth fluttering down like clothy rain. Jada falls from the sky like a falling star, the CEO heavily damaged by the ninjutsu and pure entropy. He lands right on top of the spell summoned lobsters, who had just begun to discover democracy. They'd decided on the form known as one crustatean, one snip.

Arhra winces slightly and looks away, "Owch, now that's not pretty." Toastburner, who's now standing next to Arhra for reasons of dramatic convenience turns to him and says, "But what about the ninjas?"

Arhra calmly replies, "They're ninjas, they're inherently disposable."

The other bolt of entropic energy twitches and then streaks towards StabbityMage's cauldron. It reacts badly with the unstable magical liquid inside and once again the field is lit up by an explosion. It scatters volatile magical liquid everywhere. Some of it gets splashed on some of the lobsters, which mutate into horse sized monsters and then get blasted back in time to another world. And that is how the chuul was made. The video game characters are also splashed and they devolve into third rate copies of themselves and begin flailing ineffectually at one another.

And more happens. The ground boils and everything tastes of purple for second. Corusating bolts of energy stab skywards only to strike sky-whales and rain the battlefield with blubber which turns in fine glass baubles on the way down. The baubles crack open on impact and out crawl tiny slugs that the purple penguins slide over. Then the scene becomes completely indescribable.

But, for the sake of it, an attempt will be made. Octagonal triangles of unthinkable weakness pinwheel across the sky, the ground itself shudders and heaves like a living creature with what can only be described as things crawling out through ruptures in the ground. The air is thick and turbid and vision itself seems to be coming apart, refracting away into coloured meaninglessness. Mouthless things gibber and pockets of air burst into flame. This is but a fraction of what is seen, madness that batters at the gates of sanity. Most people mercifully black out.

And then all is still. Arhra grasps the Calvinball in both hands and says, "By the power of this orb I reclaim that which was taken from me, win the game and end the improbability sphere, in that order. And now I shall resort to vernacular. Stick that up your pipe and smoke it!" And that is

THE END

OOC: I'll make my ending from there.

IC: ...and drove into the sphere of ninjas. They scattered as it struck the being in the center, who was utterly destroyed, and they all flew in every direction, some of them in different pieces. As ninja chunks rained all over the field, Arhra was pleased to see that chunks of Jada were also mixed in.

But something was horribly, horribly wrong.

Jada's horribly mangled, sliced, diced AND minced body... disappeared. Poof.

And then Jada brought his hand down on Arhra's neck. Arhra was unconscious before he could figure out... that there were two. Jada still had the ball, and there was now a rip in space-time continuum where the ninjas exploded, leading to the original Calvinball field. A random guy was standing in the middle of it, just like in the first CB game.

"Wha... who... but... ubuh?" was the general reaction.

"You're confused. Allow me to explain," Jada said, picking Arhra up and throwing him through the rip. "When I was in the air, I realized that everyone would be going for me in a last attempt to destroy me and take the Calvinball. And they would have been successful, if they hadn't gone for the WRONG ME. Just before the bolt was fired, I dropped to the ground faster than ANYONE'S eye could follow. Not only did I leave an after-image of myself, but I left a copy of myself. A completely identical, tangible version of me. And the ninjas, and the bolt, destroyed him. Since there can only be one of me in any dimension, and there were two, the universe was slowly collapsing on itself. Arhra inadvertantly saved all reality (I commend him for that), but in doing so, gave me enough time to sneak up behind him and knock him out."

"What about the rip?" Newb asked.

"I guess I moved so fast that I ripped a hole in space/time," Jada replied.

"That is SO improbable that it doesn't even make SENSE!" TB said.

"I guess that there was a second where I was in between the improbability field and the regular one; if you haven't noticed, the field has been lifted."

And thus it had been.

"The space between the two fields (probable and improbable, that is) is one of absolution. The most extreme effects of any action will happen, and no less. That's why the bolt spewed ninjas, or whatever."

Dumbfounded, TB and Newb just jumped through the rip.

Jada followed, sealing it as he went.

THE END

An Ending...
 

The improbability device finally charged up to the correct improbability, the exact improbability of the improbability fields in the area spontaneously vanishing completely.

The improbability fields collapsed, levelling the playing fields again.

But there was just one problem...

The improbability at which the fields collapsed was also, by some horrendous coincidence (or the author's evil intent, I'll let you decide :)), the very improbability at which the Calvinball dissappeared to some unknown world.

Jada looked at the space i nwhich the Calvinball had rested. It was now occupied by a small rooster.

Thaumaturge looked around. "Er... Oops..."

TB looked around the group as well. "So, now what?"

Thaumaturge thought for a moment. "I suppose that we go look for it. After all, the Calvinball must go on!"

And so they departed, searching for the unknown world on which the Calvinball rested, waiting for a new match to begin...

THE END... AND THE BEGINNING...

Improbability fields are interesting things. It goes beyond the random events, the pointing and laughing at people as they try to walk in a straight line, and finding insane ways to overcome them.

You see, most people believe that the fields are just that, a field. An area where the improbable and random happens.

But, you see, kind reader, that the field is actually alive, and intelligent. It enjoys it's lot in life, making people walk in circles instead of in straight lines, making Godzilla breakdance and Barney into a zombie.

Why is the field, intelligent, you ask? Simply because...it's improbable. It's very essance makes it so.

But this particular field, who's name was Joe, by the way, was not having a good day. Oh, things started out well enough, people falling, flying, walking in circles, beening assault by undead children show characters, but then it stopped being fun for Joe. People started to find ways around the random field. While this was boring for Joe, it was expected. No one could get stuck in the random field forever.

But then someone summoned order into the choas. The one the others called "Newb" summoned something he called "Monk". Monk tried to organize it. For Joe, it was like having it's bones ripped out and put back in the wrong order. Improbability was what it was, and by ordering it, it was destroying Joe.

But then, one of the people, the one in metal who was still fully under the effect of the random field, who the others called Toastburner, banished the order-bringer, bring relief into Joe. Joe, who had never known pain before, was grateful, and decided to help Toastburner out a little bit.

One of those who defied the improbability field, the demon-like being called "Jada" by the others, apparently had claimed what all sought, a ball. Now, Joe didn't know what this was, and he didn't care. But, he did want to get back at those who had defied improbability.

Joe entered Toastburner's mind quitely, seeing what he could learn.

...ere has to be some way to overcome the CEO in Jada's mind. But it goes through a randomizer, and thus, it sends out a random though which get's translated into Jada's action by the field. The being called Toastburner thought.

Joe heard this, and smiled...which was kind of freaky for Jada, who, since has 3000 feet up, was the only one who could see the land-mass smile. Joe knew exactly how to deal with this one.

He would take his thoughts literally.

Jada, freaked out by the smiling land, decided to end the game. Summoning his power, he prepared to fire an energy bolt through the ball, which would make it equal to an atomic bomb.

As he cast the energy...a plunger stuck to his face.

WHAT?! Jada thought. That's not possible!

As he pulled the plunger off his face, he saw that the smile on the land had only deepened. It was now ear to ear, as it were.

Jada could only gasp as he suddenly started to plummet from the sky. He tried to fly, but instead of creating lift, his attempts created flour, covering him in white. And, with a finally screamed curse, Jada landed on top of Newb, who was mere seconds before, no where near where Jada was falling, and made a sizeable crater, with flour dust streaming out of it.

The ball rolled over to Toastburner, who hadn't dared moved since he was back in the field. Toastburner's eyes widened in triumph. Toastburner started to reach out to claim the ball...when a great dane and a dude with a bad hairchut and a green shirt appear.

"Rey Raggy!" the dog said, "a rall!"

"Geez, Scoob! You're right! It's looks good too! Let's eat it!" Raggy said.

With that, the great dane broke the ball in half, and the two ate it. After they, the turned into their live action movie selfs, and then exploded because their movies bombed, leaving the calvinball there.

Toastburner looked around. Jada and Newb were climbing out of their hole. Arhra, Dynamite, and Thaum where on the way. Toastburner had mere seconds to claim the ball, and the game. He reached out...

Yoda appeared, and jumped on the ball. "Hmm...a new thing to ride on, this is. Now, go to save the galaxy, do I." With that, Yoda raised a hand, and sped off on the ball, using his staff to smack anyone who tried to catch it.

Toastburner, face down in the dirt, sighed. It was just so random he almost expected it. With his head in the dirt, he could of sworn he heard the ground say, "I win!"

THE END