OOC: my explanation was that you lost it in the confusion of the spam, whereupon I retrieved it from the floor. If you really don't like that explanation, however, fine, I'll play as if it had been an illusion.
IC:Alasp, finally back on his feet, got out into the hallway just in time to see Arhra stride out and make his announcement.
Alasp held one finger to his ear, thus activating a spell allowing him to communicate with Newb.
"We have a situation here. Arhra now has a ring of chaos, and he's got the calvinball. By some freak chance, I'm one of the two people between him and the goal. I really need something here that might help."
"skkrtrkt?"
"Yes, that will do fine to start with."
"sskrkskrrksst."
"That will do quite nicely. Any time you want to start, I'm ready."
An aura of light surrounded him for a moment as a spell was cast upon him, and there were no apparent changes, although those who could see magic, and could see both Arhra and Alasp were likely to get more than slightly worried.
"Initiate phase two."
OOC: Seeing as how Arhra gets a ring, one of chaos, I decided to bring in a simple little spell from D&D.
Step two is slightly more devious. For it I will require the help of an evil character and a good character.
If you would like to sign up for this little plan, please say that Newb teleported you over to where Alasp is.
Be warned, however, as one of two things will likely happen.
1) the four characters involved will be the only ones left.
2) the four characters involved will be gone for the remainder of the game.

"Just do what you gotta, man," Jada said.

OOC: For the record, I'm kinda taking a break for this game. Getting shouted at by the mods isn't my idea of a good game.

SM decided that enough was enough. Ahra was wearing a ring (that looked kinda fruity, if you know what I mean) and was about to kick some ass when he suddenly had an Idea. Instead of stealing the ring all by himself, he would form an alliance with somebody.
And so it became to pass that SM was teleported in front of Alsap by Newb.
"So...stolen any good rings lately?"

"Not yet, but with your help I might be able to. There is an ancient spell which requires four people. One of chaos, one of order, one of good, and one of evil. Right now I have a simple ring of protection from chaos spell on, which should be just barely sufficient to get us close to him so we can cast it, using him as one of the pillars of the spell."
**********************
OOC: since he has given me permission...
IC: "Let's see, who else to choose... oh, there's Jada, I should cast that demon door spell at some point, so why not now?"
Newb typed and a beam of energy passed through Jada, apparantly not harming him, and hit a door, which proptly sealed closed and grew a face. Jada, startled by this, stumbled backwards. He heard energy crackle again, and turned around in time to see another beam of energy leave his body to hit a door, transforming it as well. It seemed that Jada could now create demon doors by getting near normal doors, but he had no idea how to control it.
The nearest door opened its eyes.
"Mama?"

OOC: GrrBear my Timmies were banished
IC: BS watch in amasement as the Care bear somehow respawned from the floor
"dude you really got to stop getting your head torn off"
"oh and i hear there is a really big spell being cast that allows you to make doors come alive lets go be part of it" with that, BS jumped/climed onto Grrbear's sholder and they stomped away to find Alsap

SM waited by Alsap as he watched Jadarenidir or whatever his name is be blasted by a beam of light and be greeted by a demonic door.
"That's gotta feel strange..." SM commented.

Soldier only wished he knew a spell that could transport him to Alasp... but since he knew no such spell, he turned around and jogged the 40 feet to the point where Alasp had fallen from the sky and was now standing next to Stabbity Mage.
"Sorry, about that, I guess you're not the only one who finds it hard to tell the difference between a real and fake Calvinball these days. If you need help with the Calvin-mace Edgemaster I'll help with your spell, or I can distract him with my tapdance technique I learned in college... or something."
:fighter: "For there are times, when an enemy seeks to steal from us what we hold most dear, when a common foe would rise to hights wherein we find him insurmountablem on our own, and wherein the likes of us standing in our own pride-filled independence would surely fail. when we should unite under a single banner with our leader.
I stand ready, and I'm not even going to take into account the fact that, once we've thwarted our foe our fearless leader, Alasp, will be our fellow competator for the Calvinball. There's just too much at stake think about that. After all.... this big guy has a Band of Fruity Chaos.

"I'm just casting a spell, it's not like I'm your leader now or anything."
Alasp said as he prepared the spell.
He waved his arm over the group, pointing at Arhra, then spoke the words which activated it.
The three of them shot forwards through the air to the point where Arhra was.
Alasp thought to himself: I just have to hope that this gets the three of us rings for our own alignment, rather than baishing us all to the dungeon dimensions. But I think that I added enough energy to the spell to avoid the dungeon dimensions

Unfortunately, Arhra knows the counter to stop complex spells being cast. And that counter is to smash in the face of the person who's trying to cast the spell. Unfortunately for Newb, forcing his circle of protection up against Arhra has caused to collapse, as tends to happen when you try to hedge something out with spells like that. There's also the potential flaw in his plan that increasing the amount of magic in a spell is unlikely to prevent being sucked into the Dungeon Dimensions.

This might prove to be irrelevent though as Arhra advances on Newb like a raging god. Having just been given the title of Calvin-mace Edgemaster it doesn't look like anyone on their own will be able to stop him by force of arms alone. And he can probably shrug off any individual spells that could be cast quickly enough. He raises the Calvin-mace and brings it down, intending to smash face. Newb's face.

OOC: Ah, drama. I love it.

OOC: Now, to add my own brand of "fix Arhra's mistakes". Good old drama.

IC: Right then, the mace vanishes, followed by the ring. Followed by a horde of shrieking imps which were never previously mentioned.

All three reappear just long enough to be disintegrated by green rays of power, "Really, that's just sad." DB, now floating in midair, has grown tired of people making Discworld references he doesn't understand, and consequently Halaster Blackcloak, Szass Tam, and Manshoon are dancing about somewhere singing about wishing people a merry Christmas.

"Arhra, you've never been more than a godmoding amateur. Your childish attempts to gain superiority are laughable at best, and pathetic at worst. All your base are belong to us."

OOC: As much as I detest completely OOC posts, I think I'll have to make an exception. Dragonsbane, I've left the final attack open to response and I've dropped the fairly big hint that while one person doesn't have much of a chance, a group does.

I left people time to prevent the ring being forged and they failed to take advantage of it. Now I'm leaving it up to Newb and the others to decide if Arhra's attack manages to hit and disrupt the spell and also determine the exact effect of their spell. I'm of the opinion that all four (including Arhra) will end up in the Dungeon Dimensions personally.

And if that's not enough, I'll give away the hint of what another of Arhra's weaknesses is. His finger. Now, stop accusing me of godmodding Dragonsbane and stop godmodding in your own posts.

Newb is struck by the force of the blow and somehow, rather than being destroyed, flies away from the imparct, bouncing back off of the edge of the circle of protection, crashing into Arhra and thus placing all four of them into a large sphere that had been somehow created, wrapping itself around what had been the circle of protection until moments before.
The calvinball floats off of the staff to remain stationary in the exact center of this sphere, and then it begins rolling in space, the sphere mimicing it's moves, moving down the hallway towards the goal.
Newb, frantically running to avoid being pulled up the wall, asks "if this thing does get to the goal, who will get the point? And why did the circle of protection change like that? If anything should have gone wrong we should have been cast into the dungeon dimensions, and yet here we are, moving to a place where we will all be teleported back to some random and undisclosed location in the maze. Also,"
Newb said, looking at the small snake wrapped around Arhra's finger.
"Where did your ring go?"
OOC: if anyone has any clue what i am doing, i must applaud them, for they are better informed than i

OOC: The only reason I didn't take advantage of the time allowed to stop the forging was because you claimed it was for comedic purposes only.

IC: "I think my spell...didn't go right." Dragonsbane admitted, scratching his head, "It should have just destroyed the ring and most of the mace, leaving only the Calvinball. Someone, somehow, temporarily recreated the effects of a Wild Magic area."

Despite the fact that he was levitating upside-down in midair, he still managed a dignified nod, "Newb...I will join your spell as an entity of Evil. Let it be done!"

OOC: also, didn't someone take the bunsen burner that the calvinball was attached to and use it as a flamethrower?
IC: newb tried to cast spells to get him out of the bubble, but none of them worked. He finally gave up when there were about four or five barnyard animals running along with them.
"okay, please, nobody use magic in here."

"There IS a way...but it might not work, the gift is draining on the Weave of magic, and it's better at normal dead-magic areas. The Goddess of Magic on a world I visited bequeathed her Chosen with the ability to restore areas where magic couldn't function...among other things...and this power might be able to straighten out an area where magic has been twisted, if we're lucky." Dragonsbane's attempts were only slightly more successful, conjuring a drill and a confused Umber Hulk* before he stopped trying with normal spells.


OOC:

*Umber Hulk: a large creature that looks something like a cross between a beetle and a gorilla. They have big, deadly mandibles, and can dig swiftly through rock.

Grrbear and Bombsquad2020 charge Arhra with the bunsen burner in hand. "kindness and light shall triumph" Grrbear attacks Arhra with the bunsen burner trying to destroy the ring. (hey it worked in the movie)

"The Calvinball is in the bathroom, Arhra's ring is now a snake, and I'm confused." DB summarized, activating Mystra's gift and sending a cone of silver fire at the sides of the sphere, melting it away and undoing the Wild Magic effect.

In another dimension, in a replica of the original CEO, Jadarendir watched spells failing, insanity everywhere, and people generally being stupid.

"What the fug are you doing?!" He yelled at the screen. "For God's sake, somebody throw a pie!"

SM decided to do something random and go against his principles of evilness. He yanked out a pie from his trousers, sprinkled some rat flavoring onto the pie, walked up to Arhra and stuffed it in Arhra's pants.

If anybody understood wtf is gonna happen, I consider you to be the smartest man alive.

Alasp covered his face with his hands at the recent antics, and then heard knocking coming from below.

He lifted up the tile that the knocking was coming from, and saw a large number of dwarves who had apparently been burrowing.

One of the dwarves spoke up.
"Um, hello, just thought we'd look around, thought we smelled something kind of thing."

Alasp looked at the dwarves. Every single one of them had ketchup in one hand, and a fork and knife in the other. He looked over at the other calvinballers.
"Hey Arhra, it's for you."

OOC:You got it wrong, but it still might work...
IC: SM watched as the dwarves began to march. And as they marched towards Arhra, they began to sing.

"YO-EEE-HO! YO-HO! YO-EEE-HO! YO-HO!"
OOC:If you haven't guessed, that's the song that the monkey-guy-thingys sing in The Wizard of Oz.

IC: And they continued, marching and droning on with their repetitive song! Finally, they reached Arhra, stopped, and began eating from his pants.

Soldier, sick from the magical hampster ball, ran to the bathroom and puked the tempermental Mexican food he had before he joined this game. Then he remembered the words that changed his life...
And lo, there under the sink was the Calvinball. Soldier wabbled to the sink and picked up the calvinball. He put it in a grociery bag and carried it grociery bag style out of the bathroom. He waved to the rest of the crew performing their various acts of insanity and said, "Hey guys I got everything I came for, I'm just going to take these unsuspicious grociery items back to my appartment." And with that he began walking toward the goal.

OOC: Shouldn't we be getting started on the endings?

Arhra climbs to his feet. What was going on was confusing but at least it was chaotic. On an unrelated note, it is virtually impossible to put a pie down Arhra's pants as he is fully enclosed in a sealed suit of amour. And what's inside couldn't be called human. So, let's just say the pie's on the ground at his feet eh? In a mild fit of temper, Arhra hurls the ring-imitating snake to the ground, where it slightly freaks out the dwarves who are happily devouring the rat pie. He fends off Grrbear's bunser burner fueled attack fairly easily - the flame would take a while to injure him and casts his gaze around angrily.

Then he sees it - some hunched little creature holding his Ring. Arhra's clearly furious he walks towards it, the ground is shuddering with each step and fissures opening around the place with molten lava visible in their depths. A particularly large fissure opens just behind the creature, revealing a fiery pit. Arhra looms over it, intending to reclaim the Ring...

OOC: Narrative.. casuality... too strong...

OOC: If you don't know, snakes eat rats. And I sprinkled rat flavoring on the pie.
IC: But lo and behold, Arhra could not get past the snake, for it was eating the pie and did not want Arhra to get past him, for the snake frared that Arhra would take his precious pie. SM saw his chance to escape and began to run after Soldier3001.

Suddenly, before SM was an E-Tank. An E-Tank is a robotic suit that walks faster than normal, has fists and can kick anybody's ass. SM got in and continued to pursue Soldier3001.

OOC: I got the E-Tank thing/idea from Megaman X.

((OOC: Indeed we should.

For the new people, endings are just that, and end. Your version thereof, to be exact. How it works is that everyone writes their own ending. It can be serious, funny, random, or just plain stupid. You can have you win, someone else win, or even have no one win.

As always, you can go check old games to get the general idea.

Just remember: It can't be by me, because I've been banned from writing ends because I am just that good ;) .
Just kidding! I mean...I am banned from writing endings, but I'm not that cocky. Shut up, GrrBear.
Now...go! Write! Endings! Now!))

OOC: actually, you are just banned from winning the ending contest. you're still allowed to write and post them.
IC: Alasp swooped down upon Soldier, taking the bag, but before he could reach the goal, he was knocked out of the sky by some unseen force. He landed between Arhra and the small creature with the ring, and the ball bounced out of the bag.
"NO!"
Newb screamed, trying to reclaim the ball, but it bounced towards the creature, knocking it into the abyss. As it fell, it screamed.
"MY PRECIOUS!"
The ring tumbled alongside it as it fell, and it managed to grab it, just as it landed within the lava. The calvinball landed soon after, and a glow could be seen emanating from where the ball had landed.
"Um, now might be a good time to RUN!"
Alasp beat his wings, attempting to flee before the maze exploded. The others fled as well.
Panting hard just outside, the calvinballers watched the structure become lined with glowing lines and fissures in the foundation, and then it collapsed in on itself, sinking into the ground. Where the maze had been, there was nothing but a sort of physical embodyment of chaos. This reformed into order slowly, and soon, where a great structure had been, there was a lowly pizza joint, with a mere shadow of the former maze in a small portion within.
"Is it just me, or do you guys get the sense that the calvinball went through some sort of dimensional portal just before the building collapsed?"
Alasp tried to go in to find more clues, but the door grew a face which looked remarkably like a cartoonish rat and spoke to him.
"You have to be crazy to want to go in there!"
Alasp shook his head.
"Well, maybe giving Jada that power was a mistake. Oh well, I'd better start looking for the calvinball."
With that, Alasp took out his key of dimensional door, and went back home.

OK, here's my ending idea.

SM finally caught up to Soldier, stuck out his foot and tripped him. The calvinball flew wide of the goal at the same time as the dwarves passed it. An extremely unlucky dwarf got hit in the head by the calvinball, who picked it up and hurled it back. The calvinball missed Soldier and SM and hit the snake on it's back. Arhra was the closest one to the snake at the time. Apparently, the snake thought that Arhra was the one that threw the ball at him and tried to bite who he thought was his attacker. But since Arhra was wearing armor, the snake's teeth became dust as it tried to bite Arhra, who had picked up the ball and was rammed into a wall by Dragonsbane. Both were knocked unconsious as the ball rolled off the playing field and into another dimension.

My ending.
knocked aside by Arhra Grrbear and BS saw soldier with the bag. An uncanny sense told him to search it colliding with soldier he mannaged to grab the ball for a breif moment. In that moment he relized his purpose and curse. Created by the great mage Suzi to try to steal or contain the calvinball and it's madness, Grrbear was tainted by her hatred and given the normal emotions of a person. Now with all of the mistreatment that he has gone through he prepares for his vengance. Raw energy gathers around him as his nature tries to ground out the massive power of the calvinball and he declares his attack on the world in general, "CARE BEAR STARE". With that a huge bolt of energy, fuled by pent up anger and the caos of the calvinball, shoots forth from his belly ahnialating (I know) everything in its path. The other players flee the area as the stadium crashes down arround them. After that Grrbear, weakended by the attack drops the ball which falls into the chasm with the ring. shortly thereafer the entire place turns into a pastel bubble. The players just wonder if the calvinball got out before the seal went up.

OOC: my ending......

IC: as soldier is walking from the bathroom carrying the calvin ball in a grocery bag, a landmine explodes under his feet ripping a hole in space and time. as the earth shakes, images become vaguly visible. then somehow the calvinballers find themselves stuck in Mario Party 5 and they all go insane

((OOC:

Yeah, I know. I'm OOCing a lot, but I'm so far behind, there's no point in trying to catch up in this game.

Now, on an important note, I would suggest everyone go take a gander (yes, a gander) at the Calvinball discussion thread. We are talking about things that will shape the course of the game, and we would like everyone's input, or at least for everyone to know about it so they are not surprised at the start of the next game.

Thank you for your time.

<end of line>
))

Closing in light of the new Calvinball thread.