i play pretty conservatively, so i never get 'bitchslapped'. one time, two of my buddies were totally out bluffing each other in texas holdem. it came down to high card. it was such a stupid hand to go out of the game on.

Worst bitchslap I've ever received has to be in 5-card draw, I had four sixes, the other guy had four sevens. It was absolutely unbelievable.

I've also been the victim of the situation Bob the Mercenary describes, this time in hold 'em, raising like crazy and seeing all bets with a full house, only to get bitchslapped by four of a kind. I believe they were sevens, again. God, I hate those sevens.

I was playing Texas Hold-Em one time and we had a couple of friends who had little to no experience playing poker. The whole night, my and a coulpe of more experienced people at the table just laid this continuous beatdown because they would make these really bad plays.

Here's a hint: If you're only holding a pair, you really shouldn't go all in. (It sounds bad, but they would bet as much on even worse :D )

I wouldn't mind playing against you. I'm sure I'm not the only one.

So you can show everyone how terrible I am? Show everyone how good you are? Or because you can't resist beating the crap out of me? ;_;

I just think it would be fun to play with you, like we used to do with Scrabble.

I'm not very good anyway >_>

Fun to play with her eh?

NO I AM NOT TAKING YOUR WORDS OUT OF CONTEXT THE MURDER IS HAPPENING FOR A COMPLETELY UNRELATED REASON THAT IS UNAFFILIATED WITH OVERPROTECTIVE TERRITORIALISTIC INSTINCTS

I too would enjoy playing cards in a platonic setting with friends.

Good luck getting past my squad of ninja cats. I have a FOURTH one now.

But yes, platonic setting with friends. Where would be a good place to do that, anyway? I know you can play it online but I have no clue where...

On topic: (ha ha shiney, broke your own rule)

Final hand of the night, texas hold'em. I was all in with a jack high flush. We both slap them down, the bastard has a queen high flush. It was a bitch hand that finally ended the 5 hour 9 player card game. You can imagine I was pissed.

But! The slap heard around the world came a few weeks ago. Again, only 2 of us left, the other guy's all in. On the table were 2 aces and 3 queens (we still don't know how it happened, we think the dealer was more than a little drunk and didn't shuffle). He throws his queen nine down and starts to reach. I throw down my pocket rockets and laugh in his face. Yes, yes, I AM god.

Well, my best poker story was in an odd variant of draw - four cards dealt to the players, one common card in the middle, and the common is wild. So anyway, during one hand, tens came up wild. I had in my hand a king and a bunch of crap. So betting went around, I stayed in for some odd reason, then threw the crap out of my hand. I recieved two kings and a ten back. This one player kept upping the stakes, and eventually forced everyone but me and him out. End result is, he's only holding two pair, while I've got the five kings. I've got to commend him for a good bluff job, but still - bitchslap'd.