Bitch-slapping in Poker
 

What's the biggest bitch-slap you've experienced playing cards? Specifically poker?

Tonight I was playing Texas Hold 'em, went all in with a club flush. I had the Jack, and since the Queen was on the board, the only card that could beat me was the Ace of Clubs.

Guess what came up on the river......................

Mine was also in Texas Holdem...

The one time I ever got a straight flush, the ONE AND ONLY TIME, someone else managed to get an even better one.

I had a 4 and 5 suited, up came the 6, 8, and some other card. Another junk card, then the 7. I had to try as hard as I could to refrain from squealing with glee, but it didn't matter anyway. Turns out the bastard had the 9 and 10 of that suit.

In Blackjack, my friend slapped down his hand proudly exclaiming that he had twenty-one. Then I slapped down my hand, proudly exclaiming that I had a blackjack! He looked so disappointed.

Haha. I saw this thread and thought "wow, that's a coincidence. I just played hold'em tonight." Then I saw it was you, Adoria. One of the people who took me out. :mad:

I was actually the "bitchslapper" tonight when one guy had a full house and I caught four of a kind on the river. Aw yeah!

Oh, a little advice for my fellow poker players. Never stay in with pocket kings. Ever. Every time I've stayed in with them, I've lost. I call it the curse of the kings.

While this may be true for you Bob (and for him it really is), the flush that beat mine mentioned above, was pocket kings for douglass.

I avoid superstition when playing poker. Statistics has nothing to do with how much you like the cards. That being said, I never got bitch slapped that bad, but I did do some good bitchslapping a while back. Guy goes all in on a bluff, I beat him with a low pair. Booya!

One time in high school, we were playing 5-card draw, dueces wild. My freind had gotten a straight flush, so he was quite happy. I, however, had somehow gotten all 4 2s. 5 of a kind beats all, you know.

worst i ever got bitchslapped was in strait up vegas style poker. i got meself a four of a kind all 9's. only to find out the guy i was playing against had...wouldnt you know it four of a kind of 10's. damn i was pissed. lost 10 bucks in that one round. :mad:

i was only able to play 2 more rounds before i decided to call it quits. i just wasnt my night.

I don't often play cards, but I'd look forward to being bitch slapped if I did. Any takers?

i play pretty conservatively, so i never get 'bitchslapped'. one time, two of my buddies were totally out bluffing each other in texas holdem. it came down to high card. it was such a stupid hand to go out of the game on.

Worst bitchslap I've ever received has to be in 5-card draw, I had four sixes, the other guy had four sevens. It was absolutely unbelievable.

I've also been the victim of the situation Bob the Mercenary describes, this time in hold 'em, raising like crazy and seeing all bets with a full house, only to get bitchslapped by four of a kind. I believe they were sevens, again. God, I hate those sevens.

I was playing Texas Hold-Em one time and we had a couple of friends who had little to no experience playing poker. The whole night, my and a coulpe of more experienced people at the table just laid this continuous beatdown because they would make these really bad plays.

Here's a hint: If you're only holding a pair, you really shouldn't go all in. (It sounds bad, but they would bet as much on even worse :D )

I wouldn't mind playing against you. I'm sure I'm not the only one.

So you can show everyone how terrible I am? Show everyone how good you are? Or because you can't resist beating the crap out of me? ;_;

I just think it would be fun to play with you, like we used to do with Scrabble.

I'm not very good anyway >_>

Fun to play with her eh?

NO I AM NOT TAKING YOUR WORDS OUT OF CONTEXT THE MURDER IS HAPPENING FOR A COMPLETELY UNRELATED REASON THAT IS UNAFFILIATED WITH OVERPROTECTIVE TERRITORIALISTIC INSTINCTS

I too would enjoy playing cards in a platonic setting with friends.

Good luck getting past my squad of ninja cats. I have a FOURTH one now.

But yes, platonic setting with friends. Where would be a good place to do that, anyway? I know you can play it online but I have no clue where...

On topic: (ha ha shiney, broke your own rule)

Final hand of the night, texas hold'em. I was all in with a jack high flush. We both slap them down, the bastard has a queen high flush. It was a bitch hand that finally ended the 5 hour 9 player card game. You can imagine I was pissed.

But! The slap heard around the world came a few weeks ago. Again, only 2 of us left, the other guy's all in. On the table were 2 aces and 3 queens (we still don't know how it happened, we think the dealer was more than a little drunk and didn't shuffle). He throws his queen nine down and starts to reach. I throw down my pocket rockets and laugh in his face. Yes, yes, I AM god.

Well, my best poker story was in an odd variant of draw - four cards dealt to the players, one common card in the middle, and the common is wild. So anyway, during one hand, tens came up wild. I had in my hand a king and a bunch of crap. So betting went around, I stayed in for some odd reason, then threw the crap out of my hand. I recieved two kings and a ten back. This one player kept upping the stakes, and eventually forced everyone but me and him out. End result is, he's only holding two pair, while I've got the five kings. I've got to commend him for a good bluff job, but still - bitchslap'd.

My family does a poker night every so often (not with money, just the chips...because we don't have enough money to make it worth playing with real money).

The second hand of the night...I got myself a flush. Figuring I could just get the pot right then and there, I go all in, figuring I'd scare everyone else out.

It didn't work. My sister had a straight. >_<


But, I got my revengence on Saturday. I had to get up early for work, and we started playing poker around 7:30, so I wasn't thinking all that great. Anyways, I'm looking for a straight, and all I need is a 9 on the river.

It doesn't come. Dejected, I put down my cards, saying all I have is a pair of sixes. My mom points out to me I have a flush. I hadn't even thought to check the suit of the cards. :p

Um.............flush beats a straight.

Ouch, Toastburner. Bitchslapped by a mistake. >_<

Sounds like somethin' I saw online. There was a full house of Kings and Jacks (three Jacks, two kings) in the community for Texas Hold 'em. Two guys kept betting, to the max bet. They turned up their cards, one guy having the Jack, the other having pocket kings. Bitchslapped.

Eh? Maybe I had the straight and she had the flush. I just remember it involved a flush and a straight, and I lost. We're not that pathetic...we looked up the poker hands in the encylopedia (yes, it's in there. Go look.)

It was a few months ago, so I probably just got the story mixed up.

I have THE best two ever, the first one cost me a grand total of $27,000, which I had earned online, working up from $50, it was going to pay off all my school.

I had pocket kings, a guy calls me all in, I call. The guy shows AA.....the flop comes 2 3 K, I'm like all w00t!!! then......both teh turn and the river are A's......

One tourney, I had J J, the flop comes 9 9 9, I bet big to scare some peoples out, it goes Fold, Fold, Call, All in, Fold, and back to me. and I think, If he's got the 9, he's got the 9. The caller folds. and we both flip over our cards.....he's got the 9.....then....the heavens opened, and the poker gods smiled at me. I caught runner runner J's to get a higher 4 of a kind

Isn't there some sort of moral code that moderators adhere to that keeps them from hustling their forumites?

Moderators? Moral code?

Tch.... *head explodes*

I wouldn't mind being hustled by Rai, though. Better than that shady Shiney character.

We need to arrange... SOMETHING so that I can humiliate myself with my feeble card-playing abilities. Not for real money, though, since I'm poor and couldn't afford a moderator hustling.

Ok, so I'm playing in the cafeteria of my college with a friend, no money involved (betting is forbidden on pain of expulsion on school grounds). However, I'm very competitive when it comes to cards. So I had a King 7 in my hand and two Kings came up on the flop. "Fuggin sweet" says I, so I check, trying to keep cool and the others in the hand. The runner is some worthless card, as is the river card. So I go all in on the river, one guy folds, and my friend calls. I laugh in his face and turn over my hand to gloat with my trip kings, but he laughs back and turns over a King Jack hand. I countered by spouting off with a string of obscenities that would make a sailor blush. Then I waited and we played another game after he had finished off the other player, and I was reminded of my place in the poker heirarchy.