"213 things it is not legal for Sgt. Skippy to do."
 

Some of these I can't believe he actually TRIED.

http://www.the-donaldson-family.com/...na/skippy.html

Dang I wish I could meet this person. Enjoy.

heh, i posted these a long time ago. my personal favorites are

"The following words and phrases may not be used in a cadence- Budding sexuality, necrophilia, I hate everyone in this formation and wish they were dead, sexual lubrication, black earth mother, all Marines are latent homosexuals, Tantric yoga, Gotterdammerung, Korean hooker, Eskimo Nell, we've all got jackboots now, slut puppy, or any references to squid."

"The MP checkpoint is not an Imperial Stormtrooper roadblock, so I should not tell them "You don't need to see my identification, these are not the droids you are looking for.""

"The loudspeaker system is not a forum to voice my ideas.
The loudspeaker system is not to be used to replace the radio.
The loudspeaker system is not to be used to broadcast the soundtrack to a porno movie"

"3. Not allowed to threaten anyone with black magic."

"7. Not allowed to add 'In accordance with the prophesy' to the end of answers I give to a question an officer asks me"

"10. Not allowed to purchase anyone's soul on Government time."

Excuse me, I have to go laugh until I suffocate now...

Doubtful as I am I have difficulties believing someone did all that.

However, I'm sure I will overcome them. Too funny. :p

If someone actually tried these they would be courtmarshaled. (i.e. 70 I am not authorized to prescribe any form of medication.) Still a great list. My favorites are 34 and 35

Not allowed to chew gum at formation, unless I brought enough for everybody.

(Next day) Not allowed to chew gum at formation even if I *did* bring enough for everybody.

I love the gum and the sock puppets one. XD Those sound like something I would do.

I'm going to join the army, just to use photoshop to make incriminating pictures of my commanding officers. Then, I'll claim God contradicts my orders, and the Giant Space Ants at the top of the CoC are disobeying Him. :p

He didn't try them all, I imagine most of them just came up in (hilariously bizarre) conversations with the NCOIC.

Yeah, he didn't do all of these things.
He did ask his CO about the breast impants, though, just to see the guy's face turn funny colors.
--The Jaded Falcon
"There is no such thing as a were-virgin"

HAHAHAHAHAHA THIS IS THE FUNNIEST THING! I was writing down the ones i liked as i went and i have all of them except maybe 15. So I have to out one specific one up:

#131- No dancing in the turret. This especially applies in conjunction with rule #113.
#113- There is absolutely no need to emulate the people from ?Full Monty? every time I hear the song "Hot Stuff".

Also these:
#145- I should not drink three quarts of blue food coloring before a urine test.
#146- Nor should I drink three quarts of red food coloring, and scream during the same.

okay! last one I'll put...
#166- No, the pants are not optional. :p