[Amake]

1. No matter how many helicopters are in a movie, it'll never be as good as Apocalypse Now.

2. The purpse of daylight savings time is to make the daylight last until later in the evening. But I have yet to find a compelling argument for not using daylight savings time all year long.

3. If you don't think someone or something is funny, it's your sense of humor that's dull. A keen sense of humor will let you laugh at anything.

4. The most valuable service a government can offer is education.

5. Not all women are sensitive about their weight.

6. Pennies saved mount up.

7. If you complain about trouble in the middle east without any understanding of the people living there and without offering any solutions, you're a douche.

8. The most powerful force in the universe is gravity. I was going to be funny and say gossip is the fastest, but that's also gravity.

9. There are actually people who don't drive.

10. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to listen to you going on about asinine crap like how to celebrate birthdays. That time is age 5.

11. Every form of psychological activity can be considered mental illness.

12. If people are preaching their religion at you, it's your choice if you want to listen.

13. Watching television is a big fucking waste of time.

14. People may appear normal from a distance, but it's a trick of perspective.

15. There are scientists. They discover new things. Try to not let that frighten you.

16. Dilbert is occasionally funny and insightful.

17. Organized protesting has reduced the average workday from 16 to 8 hours, and will likely reduce it further. The increased quality of life this has afforded the workers of the industrialized world can hardly be measured.

18. The value of advertisement is entertainment, and to challenge your psychological fortitude. And occasionally information.

19. I already said not to watch TV. That especially includes televangelists.

20. You are not your job. Well said, Tyler Durden.

21. People can be judged by how they treat their pets, and a nation can be judged by how it treats its prisoners. Gandhi said that.

22. Life is not a joke, but if you take it too seriously you'll get in trouble. Neil Gaiman said that I think.

23. Insanity is a rational response to an irrational world.

24. Your friends are the most important thing in the world.

25. Dance like no one is watching. If you've made it this far and still care what people think about you, you'll just have to dance when no one is watching.