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Originally Posted by Nique
but it's 3:09am and I am at once awaken and confronted by the endless gravity of mundane everyday life and the sick weightless feeling of floating in a vast inky void that is absolute meaninglessness.
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Life is kind of absurd that way. Experiencing the void can be a catalyst for change. At the very least, it is an experience that is unlike any other.
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Everything about life is revolving around my head and no matter what kind of importance or end goal I try to imbue anything with, it all feels exactly pointless.
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The universe (or universes) is quite indifferent to meaning. Create your own. Make it up as you go along. Have fun with it. If the universe is indifferent, mock the universe by making fun of it.
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How exactly does one cope with the feeling that the world or all the parts of it significant to me can and may very well implode. How does one push through everyday life when suddenly my choices are 'take a lunch break at home, eat out, or quit my job, sell all my worldly possessions and just go somewhere, anywhere, in an effort to escape either suicidal depression or outrun a collapsing world economy.
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Your choices are a lot broader than that. Even if you don't take action, the very least you can do is change your attitude towards the givens in your life (like the state of the economy).
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Am I just now being hit by a shockwave of social stress about the economy? Have I been pursuing a lifestyle that I don't want? What on earth do you do when your own internal ranting on meaninglessness in life slingshots back as also incredibly meaningless whining which get's tossed over to the other side ad infinitum.
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I'm kind of running into this myself. My career path was going to be doing research in existential psychology. Having spent the last three months seeing how much of a pain in the ass it is just to go about starting the research proposal and how little generalizability any such research has to real life, I'm going through some serious doubts about my choices up to this point. Still not quite sure what I'm going to do about it, either.
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I have no delusions that these are somehow unique feelings or 'realizations' that are accurate in anyway, but even knowing that... Well, damn. It's a lonely feeling. It's 3:41am, and I guess I just felt like I needed to tell somebody.
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Sometimes an expression of despair is all it really takes to galvanize change. Experience it, learn from it, be who you are.