[Amake]

Let us share stories about our goofiest mistakes and with the most disproportionately unintentional consequences.

Once upon a time rang a fire alarm in an empty office building I was cleaning, in a freak accident. As the fire department showed up with all the bells and whistles, I was completely calm. It's a certain kind of calm, on the peak of a hundred foot wave of adrenaline, that I believe can affect just about anyone in moments of absolute life or death danger.

So I was able to explain to the fire master in simple and clear terms that it was a mistake, I had been nearly asleep while waiting for some rags to be laundred and somehow poked the alarm without meaning to. The master drilled me a while about the cost of false alarms and so on and asked if I had any idea what should be done next. I, still perfectly calm as I watched my next three months' entertainment money fly away, said "Send me the bill I guess."

I think that line was a mistake, but mostly it was just me being so in control and not at all freaking out. My boss received a report where I had callously triggered the alarm for fun because I was bored and probably a deranged psycho. Then I was fired. Though it turned out I didn't have to pay the bill, probably because the bossman was worried about upsetting me.