ErrrrrrrrrrrrrORR:Imagehost bandwith exceeeeeeeeeeded.
SwiiiiiiitchING to ALTernate imageHOSTer.
Switch successfuuuuuuuuuuuuuuL.
Thadius.exe innnnnnnnfeeeeeeeeeeected.
Purge infection.
Purgepurgepurgepurgepurgepurge-
Mary, have you been practicing your curses?
Why would you say that?
Because it felt like I had explosive diarrhea.
Really. I can honestly say that I am not the direct cause of that.
Ah well. To make up for it, you're going on a looting spree.
This area is directly south of High Hedge. There are a few things to do while we're passing through.
First thing's first, we go up here...
Kill off another wolf...
And find breakfast! Wait, is...is it talking?
Well. I guess we could still eat him if we could ignore the screaming...
Ahem.
Oh fine. But to make up for it you will dance for my amusement.
Down here is the main attraction in this area, chicken be damned. Why?
Here's why. Meet Bassilus, the craziest evil priest you ever did see.
What in the name of...
Screwing with his brain is well advised. It's like a high-level Turn Undead effect takes place for one round. Any of his undead that haven't wandered off collapse back unto dust, making the fight marginally easier...
...And of course I beat him the first time. On an alternate playthrough, this bastard poisons. And we aren't exactly equipped to deal with poison right now, so it's a good thing we avoided it. What'd we get from him?
When all you have is a hammer, everything is a nail. Oh Kahliiiiiiiiiiid...
I AM THOR, GOD OF THUNDER!
Wow. He's even worse than you.
Thanks, I guess.
And to prove we killed him?
Ta-da! Too bad we'll not be 'using' it for a bit. Now let's go south and take care of those ha- OH WHAT THE HELL?
Huh. It's only one right now. Bum rush!
And this is why you always DON'T do that, boys and girls. He had three friends and a random skeleton walked by and started killing us faster. Fortunately we have a rewind function along with Smart Thinking (tm) to see us through. We back up to when we first came in, lure the guy closer, kill him and his buddies, and scratch another quest off the list.
Anyways. Welcome to this lake. There are, again, few things to do while we're here, but damn if we're not gonna do them.
Sadly, this bastard, his girlfriend, and their Elite Hobgoblin pet are on the list of attractions. Man they really should revise that. 'Come to the scenic lake! Enjoy a wonderful sunset with a side of BANDIT DEATH.'
What's so bad about an elite hobgoblin or that guy's girlfriend?
She's a mage, the hob has the ability to poison his arrows.
...This is gonna suck, isn't it?
Multiple tries later, I figure out the sequence of slaughtering them. And soon enough...
It's official. Bandits have pissed me off and all must die.
I would feel bad about taking her clothes, but I've been walking around in naught but my wolf-skin robes. A simple alteration spell should see to it these robes take on a similar hue and possibly even texture. Dynaheir, would you like my handcrafted wolf robes?
I do believe I'll pass for now. Should we ever enter freezing climes, though, I will keep it in mind.
Is...Is that Drizzt Do'Urden?
...Why?
I am his biggest fan. Does my hair look alright?
Look, let's keep him alive first, you can fawn over him later.
Actually, he did most of the work. Which is good, we were still weak from that freakin' bandit ambush.
Thank you very much, and I wish you safe journey.
Imoen, are you okay?
HE TALKED TO ME! I can die happy now.
This is the xvart camp. Not much of a challenge for a full party, even at level one. Just assume that everything that happened from there...
...To here was us killing little xvarts that scream in interesting ways. This joker summons a BEAR on us, and both it and him quickly die. We didn't quite come here for them.
This guy. This guy sells NOTHING but cursed items. As such? He must die before he causes misfortune to befall a less hapless adventurer.
He does look to be some sort of mage-thief, though. This might take a minute or two.
No it won't. See?
Huh.
Editor's note: Yes. Yes it did.
This is a BEAR CAVE.
There was a BEAR here.
It's gone now.
Welcome to yet another hellhole we'll not be coming back to. That northern bridge? Is guarded by TWO ogre BERSERKERS along with THREE ELITE Hobgoblins. Take my advice: Go the southern route if you HAVE to.
See? It's already easier, it's just a bear on the other side!
Granted it looks a bit like a Coca-cola bear. Man we are just slaughtering us some bears today aren't we?
However Uricide does have its rewards.
Need...more...identify...spells...
This is the silliest ogre ever. Wait, that reminds me of something...
After agreeing to, and then actually managing to hunt the little fuzzy bastards down...
...Weeeee get nothing for our trouble. Whelp. Next hellhole!
Surgical strike team. In here, grab what we missed, out.
In truth, it's just a women's magazine. Now if you'll pardon me, I have to go study it.
By this point these little areas don't mean enough for me to care where they are anymore. As such, I've forgotten where this one is.
Is...Is that a dead cat?
Indeed it is.
And you're taking it why?
Necromancer has to practice on something. Might as well be this.
No, it's got a collar on, it's someone's pet. Plus the idea of you having an undead cat minion just gives me the willies. Figure out who it belongs to and return it.
Ah. It would be rude to rob a fellow necromancer of his favorite test subject.
Let's...just keep going.
Of course I will act to defend nature!
How was that dear?
Good, love, very good.
For I am THOR, GOD OF THUNDER!
*Sigh*
This time they didn't even need to hold your hand, she generally appears right freakin' there.
Aaaaand another two morons fall...
The potion? Antipoison. HELL YEAH. Now we can cure one thing of poison. Useful, but not overtly so, sadly.
Ah, this. This is south of Beregost. There's one reason for being here.
One of the guys wandering around here has these. Sadly, Mary will probably return them too.
Hey, Imoen keeps stealing clothes, so someone has to return them.
Ah, the area south of Nashkel. There's one reason for us being here.
One very good reason.
Cloudkill. It is the best spell in this game. You get it, you scribe it, and you hardly ever have an excuse to use it.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
And suddenly I am very grateful for that. Let's, uh take that chicken back. Now. Oh and on your way, pick up a skeleton skull. You'll need it.
How fortunate the demigod of Plot pointed out I'd be needing one of those. Here, have a skull old man.
He then proceeds to cast the most awesome spell in the game except for Cloudkill. Antichickenator.
What?
Yes.
That was nice and all, but no reward?
I can fix that. Go to the temple.
Welcome to the temple. We're here for one reason and we'll be here for another.
C'mon...
What does the scanner say about her-
NO.
Fine. Back to Beregost to collect your rewards, then?
Kahlid gets a nicer shield since he's the only one using one. Conversations like this one happen all the time. Supposedly. In another file they never happened, so when they happen I'll be sure to grab them.
We get our money back, and we call it a night. And no, I don't believe what is underlined, for there was no honor among thieves.
And now for a new, improved map! With a key! Red signifies an area where there are massive quantities of Plot detected. Green signifies subquests and/or loot to grab. Any area that's outlined in blue is somewhere I haven't been. If an area is circled I will go there if enough people ask for it. If an area is crossed out I will NOT go there at this time no matter how hard you beg. To rectify this, suggest other things that will level up the party. As you can see, at this point I am confident in our ability to take on the mines. So is that what you all want?