I see things both ways. There are a number of 'givens' including, but not limited to, being born in this particular place, time, and family as opposed to some other place, time, or family. Everything that's not a given is left up to you, and at the very least you can choose your attitude or reaction towards your givens.
So overall, I don't think it's so bad that we're not in control of our givens. As for our destiny, I think it is composed of equal parts given and free will, so I think it's no worse than anything else, really.
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“How dare you! How dare you stand there acting like your brand of suffering is worse than anybody else’s. Well, I guess that’s the only way you can justify treating the rest of us like dirt.” ~ Major Margaret Houlihan (Mash)
“If we’re going to be damned, let’s be damned for what we really are.” ~ Captain Jean-Luc Picard (Star Trek: The Next Generation)
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