Quote:
Originally Posted by EvilEarl
This is a good piece of work, but the caveman sector of your target group is screaming "Too many words and too many big words!!" Try to shorten it a bit if you really want to get the word out to the non-geeks.
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Exactly this.
Also, throw in some pictures of almost naked asian girls, a couple of lens flares, and maybe a link or two to a beer website, and you've got it made.