The Warring States of NPF - View Single Post

Pip Boy · 01-24-2011, 05:53 PM

The Good:
-Twig and Ben both seem like fun, likeable characters. Twig's addiction to Nuka Cola, if not taken too far, is humorous.
-Effects were spectacular considering it was a fan-made video. A few nice bullet ricochets here and there avoided the common indy video problem of obvious nerf guns.
-Costumes seemed realistic for the series. Particularly a decent looking ghoul mask and vault uniform.
-The interjection by Ben's narration of a slideshow to build a tiny bit of background for Twig was entertaining

The Bad:
-Overall, acting was lacking, and I think a lot of jokes that looked good on paper suffered from poor performance on-stage.
-Scarlet's character seemed very generic.
-The Scene with Red and the other bounty hunters seemed a bit pointlessly drawn out.
-Ben's voice could have been a bit scratchier. Having played all of fallout 3 and New Vegas, I don't think I've ever heard a ghoul speak as smoothly as he does.

If you were to do it again:
-Make scarlet a tiny bit less generic. I think part of the problem here was that she only got a couple of lines and none of them were very character-ish in any particular way. She felt like an extra.
-Try and cut the dialogue down to bare-bones. It seems like a lot of the jokes, while funny in principal and concept, lose their impact to being overly wordy.
- Have Ben try to talk like a dying vulture.

As a stand-alone video, it seemed a little weak, but perhaps if a few tweaks were made it could be a good pilot for a web-series?

01-24-2011, 05:53 PM	#3
Pip Boy Sent to the cornfield Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: A right and proper Nerd Cave Posts: 2,460	The Good: -Twig and Ben both seem like fun, likeable characters. Twig's addiction to Nuka Cola, if not taken too far, is humorous. -Effects were spectacular considering it was a fan-made video. A few nice bullet ricochets here and there avoided the common indy video problem of obvious nerf guns. -Costumes seemed realistic for the series. Particularly a decent looking ghoul mask and vault uniform. -The interjection by Ben's narration of a slideshow to build a tiny bit of background for Twig was entertaining The Bad: -Overall, acting was lacking, and I think a lot of jokes that looked good on paper suffered from poor performance on-stage. -Scarlet's character seemed very generic. -The Scene with Red and the other bounty hunters seemed a bit pointlessly drawn out. -Ben's voice could have been a bit scratchier. Having played all of fallout 3 and New Vegas, I don't think I've ever heard a ghoul speak as smoothly as he does. If you were to do it again: -Make scarlet a tiny bit less generic. I think part of the problem here was that she only got a couple of lines and none of them were very character-ish in any particular way. She felt like an extra. -Try and cut the dialogue down to bare-bones. It seems like a lot of the jokes, while funny in principal and concept, lose their impact to being overly wordy. - Have Ben try to talk like a dying vulture. As a stand-alone video, it seemed a little weak, but perhaps if a few tweaks were made it could be a good pilot for a web-series? Last edited by Pip Boy; 01-24-2011 at 06:10 PM.