Man, I STILL haven't finished Skyrim. I think I'm stuck on some random puzzle in a dwarf-ruin somewhere. I haven't really run into many of those problems you're describing yet; Even though I'm a Thane of, and own a home in, the Thief Guild city, I've been ignoring the Thief Guild quest because I'm trying to play a "good guy" character. Even when I went to go find the Blades dude in the ratway I basically just strolled in the front door and slaughtered everyone who walked by rather than befriending the thief guild leader. And, funnily enough, said leader STILL asks me if I'm ready to join his guild. Oh, you mean the guild who I mowed down with arrows and Marcurio's overpowered lightning spells a few hours ago? I'm glad they're over that little mishap.
And my Imperial archer ended up marrying the Imperial mage Marcurio, so you can imagine how much Stormcloak cities love us. Also I joined the Imperial army earlier in the game but STILL haven't done any of their missions because I don't know if it'll make Stormcloak-held cities hate me even more.
And for the record, Marcurio is the greatest character to marry. His "I love you" dialogue is so hilariously out of character from the rest of his lines, so he'll be singing your praises in terribly overacted adoration one second and then grouchily tell you he's not carrying thirty pounds of dragon-scales for you and that you're DAMN LUCKY he sees fit to even give you the time of day in the next.
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Yoo Hoo!
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