You are Edgar Allan Poe'ing pretty hard there bro.
Can't really go in deep about your feelings exposed here, cause quite frankly right now it feels like baiting someone to scratch a raw exposed nerve. But i wouldn't look down on your perceptions of life... to some extent i can relate. I also firmly believe that things aren't as bad as you perceive them, but no amount of talking can show you that.
If venting here does any good for you at all, at least be aware that you got some honest attention here. And that you don't have to grow up to become one of that assholes that can only get social interaction by verbally battling every living being within your voice radius...
And, quite bluntly, time used crying over failure is time wasted not trying again or trying something else.
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