[Astral Harmony]

Off The Wall by Armored Bishoujo

Armored Bishoujo: "Greetings to all you Pokemon Umbral faithful. Today marks the day of another Off The Wall, starring your host, Armored Bishoujo. Since I didn't receive any requests from you players or even any lurkers that happen to be ogling this place, I'm just going to go ahead and talk about something I think could be helpful in some capacity."

Jeanette Ricewood: "Today's subject is something that I have been researching for decades and am always happy to discuss with those who are interested in the history of our world and its rather perplexing lore. I am referring to one of our most incredible and powerful mysteries to date, the Heritage Sites. But before we begin to discuss those, it would benefit you to know about a scientific theory I published in my youth first."

The Dual Technologies Theorm

Let's not mince words: anyone who thinks it is normal to have standard bicycles hand-in-hand with the miraculous technology behind Pokeballs is a gullible idiot. The Dual Technologies Theorm points this out with no shame whatsoever. As it is, we have two levels of technology. Everything from our cars to our televisions to our bicycles and clothes are based on Generation Technology, which comprises everything we have been able to invent and create ourselves without assistance from Heritage Sites.

Heritage Technology is any kind of tech that we have discovered in Heritage Sites or have reverse engineered from the tech that we have discovered in Heritage Sites. I mentioned Pokeballs before. Yes, those are reversed engineered from Heritage Technology. We also owe our teleportation platforms, the healing machine at the Pokemon Centers, the PC Storage System, the Global Trade Network, Ranger Stylers, Pokemon DNA infusion processes, pharmaceuticals, Inquiry Visors, and nearly all of our combat robots and most military hardware to experimenting with and understanding Heritage Technology.

Heritage Sites

There are several huge rumors about how the Heritage Sites have come to exist on the Pokemon World. Some suggest ancient and yet much more highly advanced human civilizations that no longer exist today. Some suggest aliens. Others believe it to be the work of Pokemon that we may have never seen before and probably never will see. And while Heritage Sites aren't all that difficult to infiltrate and explore, what these locations reveal offers no concrete proof whatsoever. Maybe that's one of the reasons we study Heritage Technology in the first place; to find out where the hell it all came from and who created it.

A Heritage of Blood

Here's something the school textbooks will never tell the kids: Heritage Sites are the sole reason for the First Successionary War that occured between the foreign Republican Front and the native Hiroshiho Empire of Honmyr. In the beginning, it started with scouts who discovered that Honmyr was littered with Heritage Sites. However, it wasn't until renowned warriors Irene Crosswald and Vladier Burkmont teamed up and started to explore Honmyr's surface and underbelly that we learned about how much of a Heritage Technology motherlode Honmyr actually was.

Most continents have one Heritage Site and are lucky if they happen to have two of them. Some, like Ransei and Jurich, possess none at all. Honmyr literally skullfucks coincidence by initially harboring at least nine from just a few months of investigating. Once that was revealed to those who would be interested in financing a military invasion of Honmyr, even the most pessimistic and guarded financiers were throwing their money into a massive war effort. We knew the Hiroshiho Empire wasn't simply going to let us set up shop on the continent, so we had to take opportunity by force. And thus began one of the bloodiest and craziest battles ever waged on the entire planet.

Heritage Sites In Honmyr

Here is a brief list of all known Heritage Sites so far:

- Ruins of Rezonance or Rezonant Ruins: Six in total, though there is a smaller Heritage Site located within the Rapturous Depths that is considered a seventh ruin. They are located throughout Honmyr and are securely locked against intrusion, though a special relationship with the Rezonscape's maddening influence seems to unlock them when the concentration reaches a certain density. Still, only few know what they were built to contain, as they are protected by powerful and coordinated guardians while also housing numerous deadly traps.

- Eternal Engine: Considered to be two Heritage Sites in one, a massive metal forge and a gargantuan factory/armory right below, the two are connected together and heavily protected by some of its own generated mechanical weapons. They are located far to the west, just a hour drive south of the Recycled City.

- Pandora's Needle: This Heritage Site is a hidden elevator leading from some unknown location in Fainas Metropolis down into Fallen Eden, a classified location inhabited by dangerous Pokemon.

- Chaos Atelier: Partially constructed by the Republic of Honmyr alongside some ruins that were already there to house and study the Rezonark, the source of the Rezonspace. An incident has long since forced the facility to be locked down and to this day, it remains securely sealed off from the rest of the world. The entrance is located within the fifth sub basement of Metal Hell and is only accessible by two special keys.

- Akashic Vault: A classified facility located within the classified Fallen Eden, you just can't get anymore classified than this place. Almost nobody knows what is inside, though speculation runs wild that this place contains untold knowledge and powerful guardians.

- Scarlet Armories: Funded by the government using the labor of hard criminals, three such facilities exist in key locations where human populations are almost nil. They are most likely used to store extremely powerful weapons and technology that has come to be understood as Heritage Site research bore fruit, and it is doubtful that anything inside these facilities is publicly or privately available. Anyone who knows about the existence of these three places or even just one of them can only guess as to why they were constructed and supplied in the first place. Between the Honmyr Prideguard, the Republican Force, the Police Force, PATCA, the Recycled City's protectors, Hiroshiho Imperial Forces and even countless mercenaries, just what reason could there be for needing even MORE firepower?

- Husks: A catchall term that refers to Heritage Sites for which all technology has been extracted, understood, and put to use. Honmyr has five of these so far, and we expect to have a few more in about another decade. Despite no longer possessing any technology of value, Husks aren't completely useless. Pokemon trainers can often find new Pokemon there to add to their collections, but they should be wary in case any criminal gangs decide to use a Husk as a fortified hideaway.

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Off The Wall (Nov 29 2013)

Armored Bishoujo: "Good extremely early morning, everybody. It's Off The Wall with your host, Armored Bishoujo. Today's Off The Wall subject actually comes as a request from Renny Tresserhorn, who writes..."

Renny Tresserhorn: "Not sure if this would count as an 'Off The Wall' topic strictly speaking... although I do wonder who Irene considers to be her toughest opponent in Honmyr. She has made a lot of enemies after all, and has personally dueled several of them. It would be interesting to see how she personally views each individual challenger she faced..."

Irene Crosswald: "Which I guess is why I'm here. I wish you'd've made an appointment, Bishoujo. I'm still pretty damn drunk."

Armored Bishoujo: "Apparently not drunk enough to speak clearly and make complete statements. So come on, for the people in the audience, why don't you talk about your track record?"

First Blood

- Target: Tetsuzu Morimoto, the Ebony Tortoise General
- Rating: 5/5
- Recollection: I am perhaps the finest warrior the world has ever produced, so most people would be very surprised to find that I never fought for real until I was nineteen years old. This was before the outbreak of the First Successionary War. Sakuya Kazetsubaki was doing any underhanded thing she could do to secure her inheritance of the throne, despite the fact that she was the only one who really gave a shit. Then again, her father the emperor who was alive up until shortly after the war ended, did sort of voice his favoritism of Kaguya Kazetsubaki, birthed to him by one of his mistresses. Tetsuzu Morimoto was the Ebony Tortoise General of the Four Great Generals of the Hiroshiho Empire. My father Yuu, my mother Haruno, and Kaguya herself were the other three. Tetsuzu hated being considered the most inferior of them all, owed mostly to his large belly borne from cheap alcohol and greasy meat and his unsavory habits of sexual harassment and a lack of respect for the imperial family, and when Sakuya promised Tetsuzu many great things for the capture or elimination of the other three generals who fled Kazetsubaki City when Sakuya tried to have Kaguya assassinated, Tetsuzu couldn't possibly refuse such a great opportunity. Endless wealth, fame and bitches for just one night of effort. He was one step ahead of father and I when Yuu came to get me out of the house. Despite his foul nature, Tetsuzu didn't wear the Ebony Tortoise armor for nothing, and was a peerless warrior in his own right. To think that my first real battle was going to be against him. If it wasn't for my father being there along with me, I do not think I would have survived. If you wish for a more detailed explanation of our fight, then just wait for Crimson Wounds Chapter 1. In the end, my father stayed behind to engage Tetsuzu and bought me the avenue I needed to continue fleeing the capital before we were completely encircled by the regular army. If only I was as strong then as I am now...

People

- Target: Sakuya Kazetsubaki, the Princess of the Hiroshiho Empire
- Rating: 3.8/5 - 2.4/5
- Recollection: I have done battle with Sakuya quite a few times, in both wars, in between the wars, and even after. I've dueled her, I've handled ambushes personally led by her, I've battled her and her forces alongside valuable friends and every time, her technique and practical abilities just seem more and more outdated in comparison to my ever-increasing arsenal of martial combat styles, weapons and tactics. Sakuya was never really a superb warrior to begin with, and there are experienced and honorable samurai and ninja within the Imperial Army that I feel are better suited warriors and leaders. Then again, Sakuya has spent much longer dabbling in backroom politics than on the battlefield, and as a result is a subpar warrior and general to begin with. But still, by some miracle of the devil, she has the love of her people, something I could never achieve which is what I keep telling the president when he urges me to put her down and take the throne for myself to unify Honmyr into an unstoppable military machine. The emperor and my mother are brother and sister, which sort of makes me a princess too but it's really complicated. Be that as it may, Sakuya is far too useful a tool to simply remove, but I would never expect her to be manipulated by me nor can I let her take control of all available forces in Honmyr given her lackluster leadership record. This is why I need Ray Green. Well, this is actually just one of the reasons why I need Ray Green.

- Target: Bezelain Bernasse, the Leader of Adonova
- Rating: Strongest Opponent By Leaps And Bounds
- Recollection: Bezelain is the mother of Giovanni Bernasse, the leader of Team Rocket. Bezelain used to own Team Rocket herself, but passed this organization on down to her son in order to focus on a more elite, close knit, specialized unit that suited her personal needs and ambitions. Actually, Team Rocket may not have been called that until Giovanni inherited it. Regardless, Bezelain is to her son as Adonova is to Team Rocket, in which the former is far superior to the latter. Giovanni is just a disappointing kingpin who has been repeatedly defeated by a prepubescent boys and girls, and Team Rocket, while having a few decent badasses, is basically a bunch of incompetent twats. Bezelain is a seemingly flawless swordsmaiden with unsurpassed charisma and, even now that she's confined to hospital beds and wheelchairs, still possesses a godlike nobility and an intimidating aura. She also possesses a keen mind and has no dearth of talent, able to write best selling novels as well as lead armed forces. Adonova is a very small and incredibly effective fighting force consisting of a mere six members that Bezelain has personally invited into the fold, and they serve her with both unshakable devotion and relentless enthusiasm. Once again, Bezelain is someone I was not able to defeat on my own when I first fought her. However, unlike the others, Bezelain is someone who continues to surpass me even after everything I've personally achieved. No matter what I am able to overcome and no matter how irreparably crippled she is, I will still always respect Bezelain as my ultimate nemesis.

- Target: Silk Takayuki, the Hiroshiho Empire Ninja General
- Rating: 4/5
- Recollection: This probably would have been rated lower, but she did sort of ambush me and I'm giving her props for that. I fought Silk during the Second Successionary War while other soldiers and samurai were duking it out all around us. Those who tried to participate in our battle to assist one of us were slaughtered by the other chick and kicked away or ignored. I think Silk's problem was that she wasn't as good at fighting by herself as I am.

- Target: Shibito, a Three Years Running Sparta Arena Grand Champion
- Rating: 4/5
- Recollection: It was my first time participating in any Sparta Arena matches, let alone the Grand Tournament. Shibito had pretty much always had a complex about being the Grand Champion, because she never actually defeated the previous champion, my mother who retired, and felt that her title was undeserved until someone stepped up that could potentially rob it from her. I guess that was me, although I didn't actually care about achieving the title. I fought Shibito with all of my might simply because that is the only way for warriors to honor their opponents in battle. I'll admit, she was tough and very determined and put up a really great fight, but she just didn't have enough power to match me. By this time I was really coming into my true nature, and my skills were breaking limits here and there.

Pokemon

- Target: Phosphode, the Wretched Body Legendary Pokemon
- Rating: 5/5
- Recollection: Although I was assaulted by detachments from the Imperial Army and their trained and domesticated Pokemon forces, I never really felt challenged until we stumbled upon Pandora's Needle while searching for Heritage Sites all over Honmyr. Pandora's Needle was the method we used to enter Fallen Eden and is the only means that one may travel there to this day. And by 'we', I mean that I had some friends with me, a couple of them from my hometown of Kazetsubaki City and some military types from overseas like, you guessed it, Vladier Burkmont. He was a lot more handsome and it was so adorable the way he got uncomfortable whenever I teased him, but let me get on with it. In Fallen Eden, we were doing relatively well against the Fiend Pokemon despite having no prior knowledge of their existence or experience in fighting them. That changed for the worse when a large stone column crashed down, causing Vlad to take severe injuries saving my life and the two of us were separated from the others as more Fiend Pokemon drove them away. I was so lost and Vlad was leaning heavily on me, drifting in and out of consciousness. Battles with Fiend Pokemon only got worse after that since I was basically by myself and protecting him from further injuries. But still, I managed somehow until I found something that changed my destiny forever. I won't talk about it here, so instead I'll talk about something I also found. It was a big, white, misshapen Pokemon named Phosphode. Getting anywhere near it caused me to choke, my eyes to burn and my skin to itch badly. No doubt that it's body was full of noxious biochemicals that were exhumed into the surrounding air with each coughing exhalation Phosphode made. Although I did injure it quite a bit, my health was worsening by the minute, especially when I had no choice but to face it in close combat. In the end, I never defeated it. A new friend that I met that fateful day drove it off. I guess it's just another one of those encounters that I was not yet physically ready to attempt.

- Target: Balor, the Miasma Lord Legendary Pokemon
- Rating: 4/5
- Recollection: Some people just don't give Poison type Pokemon enough credit. Deployed strategically, you can cripple your opponents and cause them to get on the defensive which can open many tactical windows, assuming you can stall the battle for enough turns. In order to proove my worth to Balor that I would be a worthy master, I refused to deploy my Pokemon in this battle and decided to fight him with just my own strength. I have to say, while the battle was tough and even took over an hour for me to finally defeat him, I never really felt that I could lose to Balor even as the poisonous miasma had me on my last legs. I don't have anything else to say about this fight, so here is a picture of a Buneary with a pancake.

- Target: Unownaut, the Taboo Word Pseudo-Legendary Pokemon
- Rating: ?/5
- Recollection: This is a trick inquiry. To this day, I still have no clue how I acquired Unownaut. The rumors in the internet suggest that I needed to have had one of each Unown and then... go somewhere, I guess. I may have had all those Unown and may have had gone somewhere, but the Unown are gone now and I have no recollection of any possible trip I may have made. Regardless, if I did fight it, I must have won because I got it right here. Unownaut will probably never say a word about how it and I met, but I guess it's not such a big deal. That just means that I'm the only who currently has one and you all can just suck it.