Should I stay in college?

[Viridis]

I fucked up my financial aid (TOPS, for anyone in Louisiana or otherwise familiar) and now I feel sort of screwed.

I'm waiting for my paperwork for my other financial aid to go through. Then they send me an award letter which I sign and send back.

-The paperwork (award letter) gets processed before the 11th (BIG maybe. They quoted '4-6 weeks' at me a few days ago.) and we pay $100 (which we pretty much don't have) for a deferment.

OR

-If that does not happen, we have to set up a payment plan (which also might(??) require that same paperwork. We have to pay a chunk of tuition up front. Guessing around $700 (which we definitely would have trouble with). I don't believe we could get this. I'd hate to ask my brother (in the military and already annoyed with helping us pay the occasional bill).

The reason for this is because my GPA got low last semester (just below a 2.5) and I've lost TOPS, which came with an automatic deferment, until I get it back up.

Between this and housing not getting back to us yet about a dorm room, I'm starting to wonder if I should should just drop out and find a job. College is putting us through so much financially and I'm really struggling.

My GPA is crap like this because for the past year, I've had less and less confidence in my ability to learn. The idea got into my head that I have ADHD and damn has this thought fucked with me so bad. I went to Counseling and Testing at the beginning of last semester and well.... they were no help at all.

Still figuring out how to tell my mom this. The 'I think I have ADHD' talk has been held back a while because I had nothing to really bring as 'proof'. What happened with Counseling and Testing really made me hesitant. I always wanted to go back but sort of put it off. The 'I doubt the direction of my life and two years of work and debt has been for nothing' talk can't be much better.

Crap I feel like I've fucked up everything.

Dropping out looks really good right now but then I loose TOPS permanently, I think.