"Skylanders:Spyro's Adventure" aka Eric Hirshberg Takes Steamy Dump on My Childhood

[Shyria Dracnoir]

Now normally I try not to get too worked up about video games (they are games, after all), but in this case I have to make an exception.

What is this I don't even

New video game Skylanders: Spyro's Adventure, based on the character from the original PlayStation days, is due this fall. And the publisher of the far-more-adult Call of Duty is targeting ages 6 to 12 with a line of action figures starring more than 30 characters from the game. When the game is running, players can put an action figure on a plastic "portal" or stand and watch the toys appear on their TV, and the toy becomes a moving character in the game for the player to control.

Not to sound skeptical of new technology, but as I read this I doubt this has anything to do with innovation and everything to do with feeding some suit's cocaine and hooker habit.

And whaddya know:

Pricing for individual toys has not been set, but a $70 starter pack will include the video game, three toys, portal and trading cards. Activision plans to release the game for multiple systems as well as computers, handhelds and phones.

All of that money and all of three playable characters to start with, which may not even be the ones you want. It's like they're assuming their audience has a dragon-sized income level before they've even entered puberty.

And I can't see this ending well:

Once a character's toy is put on the portal and enters the game, as a player collects gold or levels-up his character or upgrades a weapon, that character's improved abilities are saved in the toy's memory. Players can take their toy to a friend's house and, when the character is transported into that game, all of its attributes are available.

How many fistfights is this going to provoke because one kid tried to swap his friend's figure because it had better stats. And suppose the toy gets lost as toys often do; all that work you put into leveling it in the first place is gone, AND you have to plunk down more money to buy a new one.

This is disappointing to me on so many levels. Spyro was probably THE biggest influence in getting me hooked on video games and on art in general. It may not have been the most innovative series on the market, but at least the games under Insomniac were fun to play, played well, and looked pretty darn good. Seeing a series I grew up with sink to this level honestly makes me grieve. At least I can hold out hope for a more competent studio getting the license in the future and (maybe) resurrecting it. Heck, I wouldn't mind if they sat on it until the heat death of the universe if it meant no more games like this.

[Bells]

Funny thing, this clash with another recent news i got... let me show you something:

In Japan, yesterday was annouced this toy



You have to put it together, it's a model kit.

There is a 6 Dollars version (that has no Mobility and it's fixed) and a 28 Dollars version that has full range of mobility and it's more complex to put together, also taller (about 20cm as the first one clocks in about 13cm)



The cheaper version has one Chip, the Expensive version has 3 (Arms, Body and Legs). The reason is simple... in the expensive version, the Arms and Legs and interchangeable.

If you have one, you can then, buy this guy





He can read the information in the chip and let you play Minigames with your model kit using that Info. like Little Battle Tamagotchis...

But you also...



Can buy this other device that plugs in the previous one



And lets you take your info to an Arcade, where you can play a special 3D battle game using your Model kit. If you changed arms and Legs, they get changed in the game too. Your experience, special skills and scores are all recorded in the Model kit, and improve the more you play... they already have 5 Different Model kits planned for this, and if it chatches on there is at least a dozen more then can put out over the next year.

So, i would say these people are eating cookies from the same jar... but that's pretty much the way Companies are trying to integrate toys and games to take Kid's in (and parent's money) right now...

As for Spyro, mos of his games were great. He was a great character with a fun series. I prefer to retain my good memories, cause, 1 look into that ugly screenshot and i already cringed a little....