Life on the Squad

Bob The Mercenary · 08-26-2010, 08:52 PM

So I landed a job at a BestBuy near me two weeks ago as a Geek Squad agent. They literally hired me on the spot during the interview which at first I thought was cool as I had been nervous as hell for the interview. At orientation I met the other three who had been hired with me. They all seemed like cool guys, all just as nerdy as me, same interests, etc... After the four hour orientation I was given my hours for the first week and was all excited for my first real day of work. I imagined being surrounded by computers, or burned out husks of once great machines, and doing what I love for a living. Tinkering. Diagnosing. Bringing the dead back to life.

You guys...

These people...

First phone call I answer: "How do I open my laptop?"

The day went downhill from there.

A man came in saying we broke his computer, quote, "more than it was already broke". He originally brought his system in because it wouldn't power on. Verdict was a bad power supply and mobo. He paid the $70 diagnosis fee but refused to have it serviced because the price was too high to fix it. He comes back, points to the main power connector on the motherboard and says we snapped part of it off. What made him think this was that the cord coming from the PSU had extra connectors as part of an adapter for newer boards that had more connectors. Long story short, we didn't do shit to his computer, but he was one of those "fight the man" types. He left the store in a huff.

Rule #1 of dealing with Geek Squad: NEVER FUCKING BRING US A MACBOOK! No one here knows how to deal with Macs. They are built with HEX HEAD AND STAR SCREWS WHO THE FUCK USES STAR SCREWS!? And almost none of our software is compatible with them.

Rule #2: If we tell you it will take a few hours to set up your new laptop, assume that means "come back tomorrow, if we're lucky".

Rule #3: $200 for a virus cleaning means $200 for a virus cleaning and none of us grunts can do shit about it.

Rule #4: It's not my fault your warranty is up.

Rule #5: There is a queue line. We can not just fix it for you "real quick". No you may not wait right there while we do it.

I mean it's not a terrible job. The day goes by in a second and it pays relatively well. Most of the time I'm just installing antiviruses on laptops and "optimizing" them, which means running one program and walking away. Occasionally they'll actually let me run a diagnostic, very occasionally will I ever see the inside of a computer. Most repairs they send to Kentucky anyway.

Not sure if this was the right thing to do or not, but lately I have been recommending such products as OpenOffice and Malwarebytes for people who have simple problems that really don't warrant a $200 fix. It's amazing how this entire establishment is being kept alive by the public's general ignorance about technology and something called Google.

Bard The 5th LW · 08-26-2010, 09:21 PM

Some of those examples sound mind numbingly stupid on the customer's behalves.

The way I see it though, if it pays well then you made the right choice. If the problems are simple and just fits of stupidity on the person's, then so be it as long as it doesn't bring down you pay.

BitVyper · 08-26-2010, 09:55 PM

This is older than the hills, but you might like it.

Eldezar · 08-26-2010, 10:10 PM

That's just like working help desk in a community college except we don't rip off our customers and we get more time inside the computer.

Here's the good version of that video above.

And here is more help desk awesome.

BitVyper · 08-26-2010, 10:14 PM

Eh, I prefer the standup version. He overexaggerates his expressions in that one.

Specterbane · 08-26-2010, 10:28 PM

That does sound like what I've heard general computer help is like. But hey a job's a job these days. If you do want to get into tinkering to fix computers see what it would take to get down to Kentucky to work there if that's an option for you. But yeah, best of luck to you I hope it works out great.

Professor Smarmiarty · 08-27-2010, 03:11 AM

$70 diagnosis fee?
$200 virus removal?
What the fuck?
I normally do it for a chocolate bar.

Bob The Mercenary · 08-27-2010, 07:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Smarty McBarrelpants

$70 diagnosis fee?
$200 virus removal?
What the fuck?
I normally do it for a chocolate bar.

Same here.

Other prices are:
$30 - install one piece of software
$50 - install one piece of hardware
$100 - transfer files to another computer
$150 - transfer files to an external hard drive included in price
$200+ - diagnose and fix any problem with computer that can be fixed in store, does not include price of part.

In other words, you and I could have been making a lot more money. Either because we're stupid or not capable of straight up robbery.

Karrrrrrrrrrrresche · 08-27-2010, 08:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Smarty McBarrelpants

$70 diagnosis fee?
$200 virus removal?
What the fuck?
I normally do it for a chocolate bar.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bob the Mercenary

Same here

Whoa whoa whoa back up here; are you saying I could have gotten a goddamn chocolate bar every time I fix something?

God.
DAMMIT.

Nikose Tyris · 08-27-2010, 08:11 AM

Just so everyone's clear here, Geek Squad is a fucking rip off, and using any of their services is the equivelent to throwing your money into a blender, and ruining a perfectly good chocolate milkshake.

Bob's awesome. His job is not.

Also the people who use geek squad, should not have computers. without geeksquad, there would be less people like that online.

Edit: You know I feel obliged to qualify this so it doesn't sound like I'm just ragging on a shitty system for being something I'm not in on, or whatever.

Best buy's Optimization is garbage forever:
http://consumerist.com/2010/01/consu...-of-money.html

A bunch of other horror stories about geek squad, who, because they're wage slaves, don't care about retaining you as a customer so much as making you go away:
http://consumerist.com/cgi-bin/mt/mt...rch=Geek+squad [there's other things mixed in there, but it's mostly geek squad]

A small-time repair guy or private shop owner wants to keep you as a customer. You coming back keeps him in business.

Edit 2: One more for prosperity: You sell Macs at Best Buy, and you sell your warranty on Macs. Therefore, people bring macs to you. Blame your employer, not the customer.

08-26-2010, 08:52 PM	#1
Bob The Mercenary Bob Dole Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Bob Dole Posts: 5,606	Life on the Squad So I landed a job at a BestBuy near me two weeks ago as a Geek Squad agent. They literally hired me on the spot during the interview which at first I thought was cool as I had been nervous as hell for the interview. At orientation I met the other three who had been hired with me. They all seemed like cool guys, all just as nerdy as me, same interests, etc... After the four hour orientation I was given my hours for the first week and was all excited for my first real day of work. I imagined being surrounded by computers, or burned out husks of once great machines, and doing what I love for a living. Tinkering. Diagnosing. Bringing the dead back to life. You guys... These people... First phone call I answer: "How do I open my laptop?" The day went downhill from there. A man came in saying we broke his computer, quote, "more than it was already broke". He originally brought his system in because it wouldn't power on. Verdict was a bad power supply and mobo. He paid the $70 diagnosis fee but refused to have it serviced because the price was too high to fix it. He comes back, points to the main power connector on the motherboard and says we snapped part of it off. What made him think this was that the cord coming from the PSU had extra connectors as part of an adapter for newer boards that had more connectors. Long story short, we didn't do shit to his computer, but he was one of those "fight the man" types. He left the store in a huff. Rule #1 of dealing with Geek Squad: NEVER FUCKING BRING US A MACBOOK! No one here knows how to deal with Macs. They are built with HEX HEAD AND STAR SCREWS WHO THE FUCK USES STAR SCREWS!? And almost none of our software is compatible with them. Rule #2: If we tell you it will take a few hours to set up your new laptop, assume that means "come back tomorrow, if we're lucky". Rule #3: $200 for a virus cleaning means $200 for a virus cleaning and none of us grunts can do shit about it. Rule #4: It's not my fault your warranty is up. Rule #5: There is a queue line. We can not just fix it for you "real quick". No you may not wait right there while we do it. I mean it's not a terrible job. The day goes by in a second and it pays relatively well. Most of the time I'm just installing antiviruses on laptops and "optimizing" them, which means running one program and walking away. Occasionally they'll actually let me run a diagnostic, very occasionally will I ever see the inside of a computer. Most repairs they send to Kentucky anyway. Not sure if this was the right thing to do or not, but lately I have been recommending such products as OpenOffice and Malwarebytes for people who have simple problems that really don't warrant a $200 fix. It's amazing how this entire establishment is being kept alive by the public's general ignorance about technology and something called Google.

08-26-2010, 09:21 PM	#2
Bard The 5th LW Feelin' Super! Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 4,191	Some of those examples sound mind numbingly stupid on the customer's behalves. The way I see it though, if it pays well then you made the right choice. If the problems are simple and just fits of stupidity on the person's, then so be it as long as it doesn't bring down you pay.

08-26-2010, 09:55 PM	#3
BitVyper History's Strongest Dilettante Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Arcadia Posts: 6,662	This is older than the hills, but you might like it. __________________ "There are worlds out there where the sky is burning, and the sea is asleep, and the rivers dream. People made of smoke and cities made of song. Somewhere there's danger, somewhere there's injustice, somewhere else the tea's getting cold. Come on, Ace; we've got work to do!" Awesome art be here.

08-26-2010, 10:10 PM	#4
Eldezar Ferbawlz! Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 665	That's just like working help desk in a community college except we don't rip off our customers and we get more time inside the computer. Here's the good version of that video above. And here is more help desk awesome. __________________ Patreon Stuff! https://www.patreon.com/NPCProductionCompany Last edited by Eldezar; 08-26-2010 at 10:22 PM.

08-26-2010, 10:14 PM	#5
BitVyper History's Strongest Dilettante Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Arcadia Posts: 6,662	Eh, I prefer the standup version. He overexaggerates his expressions in that one. __________________ "There are worlds out there where the sky is burning, and the sea is asleep, and the rivers dream. People made of smoke and cities made of song. Somewhere there's danger, somewhere there's injustice, somewhere else the tea's getting cold. Come on, Ace; we've got work to do!" Awesome art be here.

08-26-2010, 10:28 PM	#6
Specterbane Safety First Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Land of Gumdrops and Ice-cream Posts: 746	That does sound like what I've heard general computer help is like. But hey a job's a job these days. If you do want to get into tinkering to fix computers see what it would take to get down to Kentucky to work there if that's an option for you. But yeah, best of luck to you I hope it works out great.

08-27-2010, 03:11 AM	#7
Professor Smarmiarty Sent to the cornfield Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: K-space Posts: 9,758	$70 diagnosis fee? $200 virus removal? What the fuck? I normally do it for a chocolate bar.