An Ode to Meister OR your pre-winter discussion thread

Nique · 11-16-2011, 04:09 PM

You�re a mean one Meister Grinch
You really are a heel.
You're as cuddly as a cactus,
And as charming as an eel,
Meister Grinch!

You're a bad banana,
With a greasy black peel!

You're a monster, Meister Grinch!
Your heart's an empty hole.
Your brain is full of spiders.
You've got garlic in your soul,
Meister Grinch!

I wouldn't touch you
With a thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole!

You're a vile one, Meister Grinch!
You have termites in your smile.
You have all the tender sweetness
Of a seasick crocodile,
Meister Grinch!

Given the choice between the two of you,
I'd take the seasick crocodile!

You're a foul one, Meister Grinch!
You're a nasty, wasty skunk!
Your heart is full of unwashed socks.
Your soul is full of gunk,
Meister Grinch!

The three words that best describe you
Are as follows, and I quote,
"Stink, stank, stunk!"

You're a rotter, Meister Grinch!
You're the king of sinful sots!
Your heart's a dead tomato,
Splotched with moldy, purple spots,
Meister Grinch!

Your soul is an apalling dump-heap,
Overflowing with the most disgraceful
assortment of deplorable rubbish imaginable,
Mangled-up in tangled-up knots!

You nauseate me, Meister Grinch!
With a nauseous super naus!
You're a crooked jerky jockey,
And you drive a crooked hoss,
Meister Grinch!

You're a three-decker sauerkraut
and toadstool sandwich,
With arsenic sauce!

------------

So, about Snow-Days;

Last time I went sledding, I rode a pretty steep hill with lots of bumps. Nearly broke my arms and hit a branch with my crotch. I love snow.

I have to say though, I tried snowboarding and I was totally awful at it. I fell so many times that I spent the rest of the time in the lodge nursing a vodka and like, 18 olives. Which honestly was just as good.

Pip Boy · 11-16-2011, 07:37 PM

Me and some of the others from the college are busy assembling a snow First Response Team. We're going to stash various things one would use for the creation of various kinds of snowmen in the apartment of a friend who lives by the school, and then be prepared to attack the school grounds ASAP if we get overnight snow. By the time people show up for their morning classes, there will be a small army of them lining the sidewalks.

Nique · 11-16-2011, 07:41 PM

That is fantastic. I recommend creating some Dalek snowmen per today's Tee-Fury shirt.

phil_ · 11-16-2011, 08:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pip Boy

Me and some of the others from the college are busy assembling a snow First Response Team.

Oh, you're going to help people trapped by the snow and stuff--

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pip Boy

We're going to stash various things one would use for the creation of various kinds of snowmen in the apartment of a friend who lives by the school, and then be prepared to attack the school grounds ASAP

Oh. Oh... That's still cool.

Aldurin · 11-16-2011, 09:07 PM

Gatling snowball machine, a must have in these dark (and cold) times.

TDK · 11-16-2011, 09:22 PM

Why do you hate christmas, Meister? What did christmas ever do to you?

Doc ock rokc · 11-16-2011, 10:03 PM

Blasted Yankees and your damn snow. All we got is 70� weather and wind.

walkertexasdruid · 11-16-2011, 10:56 PM

I live in South Carolina, and last year was a definite exception. We usually only get snow one or two days in the winter. It has been cold the last couple of weeks, but the last two days it has been around 80 F. And yes, I do believe that South Carolina is one of the Infinite Layers of the Abyss.

pochercoaster · 11-17-2011, 11:27 AM

It's sunny with a high of 21 and a low of 8* here in the desert. Hurray for a warm winter! I was never terribly fond of the cold or snow.

*Those are in celsius.

Amake · 11-17-2011, 11:41 AM

Yo, I know we're supposed to be paralyzed with guilt and anguish over the climate shift and all, but it's 5�C here now and still no snow.

If that sounds like it's automatically a good thing that doesn't need to be explained, maybe I should explain. Winter here is no fucking joke. Last xmas a woman froze to death in her car and wasn't found until March because the road where her car had broke down was snowed in to such a degree it could not be plowed. This season is usually a life and death struggle against the elements, and any reprieve we can get from that is basically like the universe itself speaks to us and says "I know you've got it tough, but here, let me give you a hand."

11-16-2011, 09:22 PM	#6
TDK Sent to the cornfield Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Reality Posts: 2,914	"Santa killed my father." Why do you hate christmas, Meister? What did christmas ever do to you?

11-16-2011, 10:03 PM	#7
Doc ock rokc ...Really? Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: in Theory. Everything works here Posts: 3,961	Blasted Yankees and your damn snow. All we got is 70� weather and wind. __________________ I have a Pesterchum its DangerousDoc I am ether fading out of Time, Space, or Reality...Or Simply my Typewriter is running out of ink

11-16-2011, 10:56 PM	#8
walkertexasdruid I am the One Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Infinate Layers of the Abyss Posts: 533	I live in South Carolina, and last year was a definite exception. We usually only get snow one or two days in the winter. It has been cold the last couple of weeks, but the last two days it has been around 80 F. And yes, I do believe that South Carolina is one of the Infinite Layers of the Abyss. __________________ Naive Optimist

11-17-2011, 11:41 AM	#10
Amake Keeper of the new Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: A place without judgment Posts: 4,506	Yo, I know we're supposed to be paralyzed with guilt and anguish over the climate shift and all, but it's 5�C here now and still no snow. If that sounds like it's automatically a good thing that doesn't need to be explained, maybe I should explain. Winter here is no fucking joke. Last xmas a woman froze to death in her car and wasn't found until March because the road where her car had broke down was snowed in to such a degree it could not be plowed. This season is usually a life and death struggle against the elements, and any reprieve we can get from that is basically like the universe itself speaks to us and says "I know you've got it tough, but here, let me give you a hand." __________________ Hope insistent, trust implicit, love inherent, life immersed

11-16-2011, 07:37 PM	#2
Pip Boy Sent to the cornfield Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: A right and proper Nerd Cave Posts: 2,460	Me and some of the others from the college are busy assembling a snow First Response Team. We're going to stash various things one would use for the creation of various kinds of snowmen in the apartment of a friend who lives by the school, and then be prepared to attack the school grounds ASAP if we get overnight snow. By the time people show up for their morning classes, there will be a small army of them lining the sidewalks.

11-16-2011, 09:07 PM	#5
Aldurin Lakitu Join Date: Feb 2010 Posts: 4,648	Gatling snowball machine, a must have in these dark (and cold) times.

11-17-2011, 11:27 AM	#9
pochercoaster rollerpocher tycoon Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Las Vegas Posts: 1,808	It's sunny with a high of 21 and a low of 8* here in the desert. Hurray for a warm winter! I was never terribly fond of the cold or snow. *Those are in celsius.