Moves Like Jagger, Kupo!
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: To the south, a little to the left... Or to the right.
Posts: 4,910
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Episode 2: Crono versus the Chrono TriggerEpisode 2: Crono versus the Chrono Trigger
Now that we've explored the world, learned how time travel works (it turns out Crono can fuck up the timeline as much as he pleases without any adverse effects to himself), and committed gambling fraud, it's time to meet with the emissaries from Porre and discuss... uh... I dunno what we need to talk to them about. Not peace, because Guardia isn't at war.
Music: Courage and Pride

Fuck you man, Crono's the Prince. He can make a mess and then make you clean it up if he so chooses.
Or he can hang you from the gallows and send your family to prison as an additional fuck you. So you better keep that tone in check.
Anyway, we can't go into the throne room (or the towers beyond it) because there's a guard blocking the way. Seems like they really want Crono to go to the meeting. But you know what?

Fuck that noise.

They didn't block the left passage, so like a proper RPG hero, Crono is going to dilly-dally as much as possible.

#2: I've been doing pushups. Yeow! What a burn...
#3: King Guardia doesn't brake(sic) for anyone! He's a rigid, rightful ruler.

... Okay, yeah, this is a weird dialogue choice. I mean, the whole line just sounds weird.
Not to mention, can anyone imagine the chancellor shirtless, drinking beer from a keg and chestbumping with the other frat guys?
Anyway, the last guard is just sleeping in the middle of an official meeting with his superior. So Crono leaves the guards to their business and heads all the way up the tower.

Damn. Now we can't waste even more time getting reacquainted with the place Crono was going to be executed in. On the plus side...

Yoink!
Anyway, we head back down to the main floor and to the right passage. Crono sees his bitch girlfriend and a nerdy girl waiting for him in front of some stairs.

... but he just ignores them and heads down the other set of stairs. Because he's such a lovable ass. 

Sadly, there's nothing here but a locked door and a tantalizing glimpse of some treasure chests. Cocktease! 

Well, there's no avoiding it now. Nothing left to do but advance the plot. Sigh...
There you are! The envoys are almost here. Right this way!
Crono, Lucca and Marle head downstairs and take their positions at the negotiating table, followed shortly by King Guardia XXXIII.

Ah, you're all here. Crono, I take it you understand the proceedings?
Loud and clear!

Marle is supposed to be doing an action pose here, but... I don't even know what the hell it looks like.

Okay, I gotta ask. What the hell is Lucca doing here? These are diplomatic negotiations. Marle's the princess, Crono's a prince, so it makes sense for them to be here. But Lucca's just a nerdy girl from Truce whose inventions either malfunction and teleport people into the past, malfunction and explode, or just explode.
Ho! It would be most unfortunate for the Porreans to act out of line, then.
King Guardia takes his position at the table and then...

Yeah, I don't have a sound clip of it, but the fanfare is just the drums that play right at the beginning of Ayla's theme looped twice.
Two soldiers come down the stairs.
Music: Underground Sewer

I can understand your armed escort, but why do you BOTH have full armor equipped? What are your names?
What're you talking about, King? They look like perfectly innocent, honest emissaries! Really, the suspicion in your tone strikes me as quite odd. We are clearly dealing with cultured gentlemen well versed in the art of diplomacy.
It is a... new policy to protect our emissaries. And my name is Ingrus.
And your guard? Cat got his tongue?
...! His voice is... raspy. Lost, that is. He is a drill sergeant, and shouts often.
See? Diplomacy.
Fine, fine. Let's move on. Take your positions, gentlemen.

The town of Porre seeks redress for three items. Firstly, we would like to annex a small, reasonable portion of Fiona's...
This surprises the king so much that he does a hilarious little hop backwards.

You can't be serious!
I haven't the foggiest idea what you're using all that fuel for, but you've already turned the outlying areas of Porre into barren grasslands. Why don't you research steam power with the rest of the world?
But the royal administration owns all the patents and machine shops...
That's not true! You guys have a research laboratory on the coast!

Seriously dude? The unattractive tomboy chick calls you on your bullshit and you back down?
We should just get Marle talking, then. She'll make his balls shrink so fast we could probably get out of this with Porre swearing eternal servitude to the kingdom.
Actually, these guys are master negotiators. This is clearly some sort of complicated ploy to make the Guardians complacent.

Now wait just a minute. Even I can't let this slide. How the hell did Porre find out that the Sun Stone is powerful? All it did in Chrono Trigger was make the mayor's house glow a bit. For all they should know it's just a glorified flashlight. It's not like they had any machines or technology to hook the Stone up to and see that it powered them up.
The records indicate it was stolen by agents acting in the name of royalty, and the mayor's family wishes to file claim of the original ownership.
Sounds entirely legitimate!

I'm sorry, but his widow asserts that it was forcibly taken.
And here's that masterful negotiation at play. They gave up easily on the first request because this is the one that matters.
Ugh, that's a lie! Daddy, do something!
Real mature, Marle.
Anyway, it's not like it'd be that big a deal for the guys if they gave up the Sun Stone. They already got all the rewards from it that they could, and thanks to TTI they'll remain in existence even if they change history and give the stone to Porre.
The problem is it's a baaaad idea to give these guys a source of power that let Zeal rule the world. I mean, these emissaries are obviously good people but generally speaking, Porreans are dicks.
Sigh... All right, we'll put it under review.

Oh man, look at how he talks. It's a good thing he's wearing that helmet, because I'm betting he has some crazy fucking hair under there.

If we're lucky, he'll have rocket fists too.
Hey, I thought...
Unfortunately, Ingrus is smart enough to realize the plan, whatever it is, has officially been shot to hell.
I'm sorry but can we... be excused for a moment?
Hmph! This does not reflect well on you, but go ahead.

And Ingrus and his escort head upstairs.
What was THAT about?
Hmm... something just isn't right with those two... I get this creepy vibe from 'em. How about you, Crono?

I maintain these are still upstanding gentlemen we are dealing with and it is preposterous and offensive to insinuate otherwise.
Well, I have a bad feeling about this.
I can't believe you just said that, King.
Yeah! I don't feel safe with them running around here, either. Crono, let's check it out!

Crono reluctantly comes along even though he still thinks the emissaries are good guys. Marle drags him along because she's a bitch.
Oh, dear...

Hahaha nice burn, there. This guy hasn't said anything all meeting. I choose to believe his job is just to take shots at everyone. Like...
Hey jerkface I liked you better as a silent protagonist!
Listen nerdy girl, there's this thing you should invent. It's called a razor. You use it to shave your hairy legs.
What's with being an actually decent guy in this game, King Guardia? Did someone forget you were a total dick in the first game?
Hey peepants! You like furlegs over there, right? You going to invite her to the back for some personal negotiation, or do you just need a change of trousers?
ME, TALK-GOOD?
Suddenly, the Chancellor walks into the room.

Did I... miss the meeting?
Son of a bitch, I think he really did throw that party. The chancellor was late because he was hungover.
Meanwhile, Ingrus and his escort are talking while Crono and company hide around the corner.

Doesn't matter now. We should get back before they get suspicious.
NEGATIVE. WE-WERE-GIVEN-THE-DIRECTIVE-TO-KILL-THE-NEGOTIATOR-IF-2-OUT-OF-3-CONDITIONS-WERE-NOT-MET.
What!? You can't be serious! We were only s'posed to ice the Chancellor! We can't murder King Guardia!
GASP! They were actually assassins?! No way! They seemed so nice and genuine!
Also, I think the fact that they're considering killing the King before Crono, Marle and Lucca is evidence of just how much street cred our heroes have. Dudes got rep.
On top of that, it was supposed to be discrete! You poison his drink, we get out, and no suspects are found!

Our heroes decide the emissaries have incriminated themselves quite enough by now.
Music: A Strange Happening
Ugh! C'mon, let's dust these three and get out of here!

Crono doesn't like that idea.


So he slices Ingrus up like a bitch.
Lucca pulls out her gun...

SITUATION... COMPROMISED. RETURNING-NOW.


And the guy takes off like a bunny on crack. Seriously, he's fast. Flash fast. These guys probably wouldn't have needed any tricks to poison the chancellor. This guy could slip the poison into his drink faster than anyone could blink.
Whoa! He's fast!
C'mon! We have to catch him!
As soon as the crew leaves, Ingrus gets up...

... And immediately goes back to playing dead when he sees some guards approach.

We cut to Crono, Lucca and Marle following the Porre envoy, already at the Zenan bridge.
By the way, if you want to know how fast they're going, comparatively, that's easy:
The Porre soldier is going fast like it was FFV Advance and he was holding down the run button while having the Thief's Dash ability. That's pretty fucking fast.
Meanwhile, Crono, Lucca and Marle are trucking along at a pace like they're walking.

Yeah, his speed's inhuman!
Lucca pulls out a round object from her pocket.

It's so fragile, I spent six months just putting the pieces together!

Suddenly, someone throws explosions at her from offscreen.

Or maybe it's the soldier's rocket fists. I'd like to think that.

He grabs the object from Lucca's hands and dashes off again!
...HEY!! Ugh, come on! We have to get that back, NOW!
Normally I would diss her, but I'm inclined to agree. Lucca's talking about it like it's a big deal, and the thing even had a sprite. It's got Important Object written all over it.

And off we go again...

The group finally manages to catch up with him at the Denadoro Mountains.


And Lucca shoots the soldier, causing him to drop the thingy.
Crono takes a moment to look at it quizzically.

I've been trying to make a Time Egg, you know, like the thing that revived you! This is a prototype. I hope it wasn't damaged.
Unreal. It's so small!

As if on cue, the egg starts throwing sparks.
Um... Lucca??!
Heh, it's just burning off some excess charge. I think... I should be able to take care of it in a few seconds.
Hurry, that Porre agent is getting away! And if that thing is really like the Chrono Trigger... this could be bad!!
The Time Egg sparks some more. I think it only does that when it senses an opportunity for irony.
Oh... Oh boy. We have to get out of here! This thing is crumbling apart!
It's WHAT?!!
Well, with some help from Melchior, I'm starting to understand Gate mechanics. But this one's damaged, and could go any second!
I have no idea how powerful it is! Eh heh...
GO!? As in explode?
It'll unleash a temporal vortex in the immediate vicinity. Like a big Gate! If it works, that is!
Yeah, seriously, Lucca. If you had just said explode like four text boxes ago you'd have plenty of time to get clear of the exploding Time Fuckery Device.
I don't think we have any choice! Let's get out of here!
The egg sparks some more...
It's starting to...

The egg decides now's the best time to go off, and starts bouncing around and exploding all over the place!

A gray Gate opens, sucking the heroes in.
Music: Chrono Trigger
At this point, the main theme kicks in. You gotta admit, even after sixteen years this song does the job of letting you know shit's about to get awesome.
And it officially marks the end of Crimson Echoes' prologue. Strap yourselves in, boys and girls. It's only going to get crazier from here.

Ooooohhhh shhiiiiittttttttt.

The screen fades to black, before taking us to...

Kino, cornered on a cliff by some Reptites and their pet dragon, while a wounded Ayla can only watch.
Kino!!
Ayla... Ayla go! Ayla leave Kino!
The monsters close in...

No, Ayla weak. If Ayla fight, Ayla die! Kino no want Ayla die... That why Kino die... Kino die warrior.
Go!
Kino...
And so Kino dies. After being a character in the original game that wasn't very well liked, Kino gets an acceptable ending here. Even if it's kinda sad and only going to get sadder.
The screen fades to black again...

And we see an amphibian fellow walking out of a cave.
Masamune... You helped realize my hopes and dreams...
... I can't just seal you back in that cave. You belong in the castle... Your true home, where you're needed most.

As he's leaving, a soldier approaches Glenn.
My Captain, the-

In YOUR endo!
See Crimson Echoes, I can do double entendres too!
Yeah, Frog/Glenn's accent was dropped for this game. It's because ZeaLitY wanted to stay true to the original japanese characterization. See, originally Glenn's speech was like an angry old man's, but otherwise normal. He wasn't even angry himself. ZeaLitY says he was a reliable friend and much more human.
Personally, though, I much prefer knight caricature Glenn. Though I guess that depends on how you interpret his backstory. Here's how I see it...
Fucking Frogs, how do they work?Before being turned into a frog, Glenn is a complete and utter pussy with little competence and a long list of insecurities. He idolizes Cyrus and tries to play the sidekick, but it's obvious that Cyrus is pulling all of the weight.
Glenn watches Cyrus obtain the Hero's Medal and charge into battle with the full support of Guardia behind him, finally seeing him struck down by Magus and having to endure a transformation. Frog is noticeably shaken, but he sees the possibility of redemption in trying to take Cyrus' place.
Thus begins an odyssey of leaping from rafters, throwing swords in people's faces, and generally acting like a caricature of a hero. He's certainly effective, but he's still largely insecure and hides behind the facade of what he imagines a hero (that is, Cyrus) to be. Notice that Frog doesn't speak in his affected and pseudo-archaic style before picking up the Hero Medal, and notice that it only takes one failure (failing to rescue Leene) to convince him that he doesn't deserve even an bit of the heroism he's spent ten years attempting to embody. It doesn't even matter that he ends up making things right.
So Frog plays up his personality but doesn't have balls to back it up. He relies on trinkets like the Medal to give him his sense of heroism, and his protection does nothing to stop an enemy base (the Cathedral in 600 AD) from being built ten feet from the castle and the queen from being kidnapped directly under his watch. He has nothing to base his heroism off of besides the pedestal on which he placed Cyrus, and so he thinks that a true hero must be like the knight captain of his dreams.
But then, when your party shows him how much he's valued, as Frog, not as the flawless knight we know he's not, his determination grows again. The party's efforts in bringing him the Medal and sword mimic Cyrus' sacrifices in doing the same, and Frog realizes that being Cyrus is less important than being Glenn. He's going to keep the silly accent, but after getting the sword back is when he started to simultaneously get serious and let his hair down. He didn't know what he was doing, had no real grounding, and held himself to impossible standards that he failed to meet, so he did embody the qualities of a little kid who's finally getting back at the bullies. And perhaps he still does all these things.
A buffoon, yes.
But also the type of warrior who'll cut a mountain in half.
Christ, that was a long rant. Where were we? Ah, right.
I apologize. Glenn, the King is ready to select the first leaders of the new order. He requests your presence at the castle.
I see. Well, let's get going!
Incidentally, I believe Glenn was supposed to be a human in this game. He appeared as a human in the demo the CE team released before getting C&Ded. I think the reason he isn't is because he didn't have a finished sprite sheet.

After another fade, we cut to the team appearing out of the gray Gate in the same room as... Robo?

They were probably about to ask you the same thing, dude.
Robo! Where are we?
See?
???: Ho, ho! This is most interesting!

A strange old man walks into the room.

We cut to some kinda room somewhere...


Nice title screen, guys.
Also, dammit, I want that treasure chest.

One last fade later, we come upon a pale man walking in the snow.

A monster comes close...

And turns tail as soon as it sees his ugly mug.

Ah, the black wind... That gale has not left my ears... since that...
Hmph. Howl all you wish.





And then he collapses.

But a hobo finds him! Poor Magus isn't having a very good day. First he freezes to death, and then a hobo steals his shoes, wallet and cape.

Or not.

BUTTZ comes with a default name I felt was quite appropriate.
And that's it for this update. Wordy, right? Next one will have more action, I promise.
Next time: Strong-arming! Recurring villains! Difficulty!
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Dracorion's dumbass color is Royal Blue. If you see that color, you better run the fuck away.
Last edited by Dracorion; 11-25-2011 at 01:06 PM.
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