"Bullshit Mountain? When Was That Approved?" or "Picking Up Drunk Girls"

Seil · 03-18-2015, 12:06 AM

So here's how my work week works; I work four days on, two days off. My weekends move around. The other thing is that the hours swap - the first week is in the morning, second week is in the evening, rinse, lather, repeat.

Today was the "Monday" of my morning shifts. It went pretty okay. I was asked by scheduling to work overtime, and ended up working a twelve hour shift wiping people's bums. (It's not all like that, sometimes I wipe their penis or their vagina to prevent urinary tract infections.) So this evening, after I got off, I decided to hit the bar in town and have a drink or two to celebrate St. Patrick's day.

...To be honest, the bar scene doesn't interest me much. I go because people serve me food and drinks and I can read my Ivanhoe in peace. Tonight, though, there was a really cute girl. She had long dark hair and she was wearing a dress. My one weakness, a girl who is cute and flirty. It was kind of obvious that she was a bit tipsy, and I teetered betwixt talking to her and just drinking my scotch, but liquid courage prevailed and after I hit the bathroom, I tried to hit on her.

Long story short, I got a vibe that she wasn't into me, and decided to leave. On the other hand, if things went well, I probably wouldn't have gone through with it - lots of reasons, one of them being drunk girl was drinking.

I'm relating the exchange later, and apparently my sister tells me that she's a friend of my older brother's and drugs and sex and all that.

So obviously taking advantage of people is wrong, and I would never do that.

But then what's with people saying bars are the perfect place to pick up chicks?

(Because the dudes that call women "chicks" are chauvinistic pricks.) But then where do you go to meet people?

Nique · 03-18-2015, 12:45 AM

Going out specifically to hook up isn't 'bad, but it is not 'going out to meet people'.

Ok I am being a little pedantic. What I mean is that instead of going out to meet people, you might have better long term results by simply going out to meet people.

You could go out and do general interest things in a group setting like dancing, fitness classes, Table-Top games, or events at bookstores, farmers markets, etc.

If you go to a group activity where the primary activity is drinking, you're increasing the odds of meeting people that it sounds like you are sorta not interested in being around, and if you go out specifically looking for love then you are also increasing your odds of becoming disappointed.

Overcast · 03-18-2015, 12:59 AM

Truf, just about every relationship I've had has started based on meeting up during a match of common interests. Usually roleplaying, but in one case roleplaying and femboi furries. Point is that you are better off just going to something social and related to your actual interests and mutating a friendship than hitting the bar if you want something that is deeper than relieving some groin stress.

Seil · 03-20-2015, 05:36 PM

...I hope you don't mind, I'm stealing "groin stress."

Aerozord · 03-21-2015, 01:14 AM

its a mix of reasons. Too be fair the guys are often drunk too and girls normally go to the bar for similar reasons. Of course also those that intentionally just try to take advantage of people but thats getting off topic.

But in America the big social activity is consuming alcohol, partly because it lowers inhibition and makes people more open and relaxed. On the one hand being drunk leaves you vulnerable to some clever words getting you to do something you'll regret, on the other hand it also makes you more willing to be open about yourself and potentially connect with someone.

Personally I'm with you on the "dumbest way ever to find love" and do not believe those pros outweigh the cons. I guess the idea is meet while drunk but date while sober. Just, if I had to be drunk to enjoy spending time with the person they probably aren't the most fun to hang out with in the first place

Seil · 03-30-2015, 10:56 PM

Looking for love in all the wrong places?

I'm going to get philosophical, because it's better than having a pity party. Cue long, cynical, world weary speech - amazingly written by a handsome, talented and well endowed manly man about connections and luck and accidental meetings.

I guess the point is that I'm too anxious to relax, especially around women I'd like to make love to. I don't think that's ever going to change. I know what people are going to say. I know all the advice.

So... sliante.

Overcast · 03-31-2015, 01:49 AM

So try to find a woman who wants to make love to you, once you are over the hurdle things will chill out. Finding that woman who will take your nervous self in. That's the challenge.

Aerozord · 03-31-2015, 11:32 AM

Wanting sex doesn't mean you dont want a relationship with that person, to me if I wasn't interested in the person I wouldn't be sleeping with them. I know there are people like that... I was on the receiving end and it certainly wasn't pleasant. Of course as you can tell by my single status when the next day rolls around she's normally the one thats lost interest not I.

mauve · 03-31-2015, 01:08 PM

There are women who are just as nervous about meeting men as you are about meeting women. Some women will appreciate that they're not alone in feeling awkward or nervous in social situations.

Basically what I'm saying is just be yourself. If the drinking/dancing night life isn't something you enjoy, don't go there to meet potential romantic interests. Find people with similar interests. Everyone gets nervous in dating situations to some degree: Some people more than others. But you're much less likely to be nervous when you're doing something you enjoy with someone who shares those interests then if you're going someplace that already makes you feel out-of-place or uncomfortable.

tacticslion · 03-31-2015, 06:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mauve Mage

There are women who are just as nervous about meeting men as you are about meeting women. Some women will appreciate that they're not alone in feeling awkward or nervous in social situations.

Basically what I'm saying is just be yourself. If the drinking/dancing night life isn't something you enjoy, don't go there to meet potential romantic interests. Find people with similar interests. Everyone gets nervous in dating situations to some degree: Some people more than others. But you're much less likely to be nervous when you're doing something you enjoy with someone who shares those interests then if you're going someplace that already makes you feel out-of-place or uncomfortable.

Yeah, ^ this thing.

(Also, Overcast's thing.)

03-18-2015, 12:06 AM	#1
Seil Super stressed! Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: British Columbia Posts: 8,081	"Bullshit Mountain? When Was That Approved?" or "Picking Up Drunk Girls" So here's how my work week works; I work four days on, two days off. My weekends move around. The other thing is that the hours swap - the first week is in the morning, second week is in the evening, rinse, lather, repeat. Today was the "Monday" of my morning shifts. It went pretty okay. I was asked by scheduling to work overtime, and ended up working a twelve hour shift wiping people's bums. (It's not all like that, sometimes I wipe their penis or their vagina to prevent urinary tract infections.) So this evening, after I got off, I decided to hit the bar in town and have a drink or two to celebrate St. Patrick's day. ...To be honest, the bar scene doesn't interest me much. I go because people serve me food and drinks and I can read my Ivanhoe in peace. Tonight, though, there was a really cute girl. She had long dark hair and she was wearing a dress. My one weakness, a girl who is cute and flirty. It was kind of obvious that she was a bit tipsy, and I teetered betwixt talking to her and just drinking my scotch, but liquid courage prevailed and after I hit the bathroom, I tried to hit on her. Long story short, I got a vibe that she wasn't into me, and decided to leave. On the other hand, if things went well, I probably wouldn't have gone through with it - lots of reasons, one of them being drunk girl was drinking. I'm relating the exchange later, and apparently my sister tells me that she's a friend of my older brother's and drugs and sex and all that. So obviously taking advantage of people is wrong, and I would never do that. But then what's with people saying bars are the perfect place to pick up chicks? (Because the dudes that call women "chicks" are chauvinistic pricks.) But then where do you go to meet people?

03-18-2015, 12:59 AM	#3
Overcast Cinderella Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Trespassing in the graveyard Posts: 3,076	Truf, just about every relationship I've had has started based on meeting up during a match of common interests. Usually roleplaying, but in one case roleplaying and femboi furries. Point is that you are better off just going to something social and related to your actual interests and mutating a friendship than hitting the bar if you want something that is deeper than relieving some groin stress. __________________ Time to bust out the glow sticks!

03-21-2015, 01:14 AM	#5
Aerozord So we are clear Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Former murder capital of the world Posts: 13,824	its a mix of reasons. Too be fair the guys are often drunk too and girls normally go to the bar for similar reasons. Of course also those that intentionally just try to take advantage of people but thats getting off topic. But in America the big social activity is consuming alcohol, partly because it lowers inhibition and makes people more open and relaxed. On the one hand being drunk leaves you vulnerable to some clever words getting you to do something you'll regret, on the other hand it also makes you more willing to be open about yourself and potentially connect with someone. Personally I'm with you on the "dumbest way ever to find love" and do not believe those pros outweigh the cons. I guess the idea is meet while drunk but date while sober. Just, if I had to be drunk to enjoy spending time with the person they probably aren't the most fun to hang out with in the first place __________________ "don't hate me for being a heterosexual white guy disparaging slacktivism, hate me for all those murders I've done."

03-30-2015, 10:56 PM	#6
Seil Super stressed! Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: British Columbia Posts: 8,081	Looking for love in all the wrong places? I'm going to get philosophical, because it's better than having a pity party. Cue long, cynical, world weary speech - amazingly written by a handsome, talented and well endowed manly man about connections and luck and accidental meetings. I guess the point is that I'm too anxious to relax, especially around women I'd like to make love to. I don't think that's ever going to change. I know what people are going to say. I know all the advice. So... sliante. Last edited by Seil; 03-31-2015 at 01:07 AM.

03-31-2015, 01:49 AM	#7
Overcast Cinderella Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Trespassing in the graveyard Posts: 3,076	So try to find a woman who wants to make love to you, once you are over the hurdle things will chill out. Finding that woman who will take your nervous self in. That's the challenge. __________________ Time to bust out the glow sticks! Last edited by Overcast; 03-31-2015 at 01:51 AM.

03-20-2015, 05:36 PM	#4
Seil Super stressed! Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: British Columbia Posts: 8,081	...I hope you don't mind, I'm stealing "groin stress."

03-31-2015, 11:32 AM	#8
Aerozord So we are clear Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Former murder capital of the world Posts: 13,824	Wanting sex doesn't mean you dont want a relationship with that person, to me if I wasn't interested in the person I wouldn't be sleeping with them. I know there are people like that... I was on the receiving end and it certainly wasn't pleasant. Of course as you can tell by my single status when the next day rolls around she's normally the one thats lost interest not I. __________________ "don't hate me for being a heterosexual white guy disparaging slacktivism, hate me for all those murders I've done."

03-31-2015, 01:08 PM	#9
mauve So Dreamy Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Someplace magical Posts: 6,863	There are women who are just as nervous about meeting men as you are about meeting women. Some women will appreciate that they're not alone in feeling awkward or nervous in social situations. Basically what I'm saying is just be yourself. If the drinking/dancing night life isn't something you enjoy, don't go there to meet potential romantic interests. Find people with similar interests. Everyone gets nervous in dating situations to some degree: Some people more than others. But you're much less likely to be nervous when you're doing something you enjoy with someone who shares those interests then if you're going someplace that already makes you feel out-of-place or uncomfortable. __________________ Yoo Hoo!