New Zealand's next top model?

Geminex · 11-03-2009, 04:57 AM

As all horrible discoveries begin, so shall this one: I was recently watching the Simpsons, when I encountered a spot for a new season of Top Model. I don't watch this, mind you, I just have a distinct awareness of its existence. Anyway, I would have tuned out, but the nation it was going to ocurr in caught my attention. New Zealand. A nation with 1 million permanent inhabitants and 4 million annual tourists. A nation that almost became part of Australia, for fuck's sake, and that's not a very big country either! Why the hell does it need its own top model!? Can't it share Austrlia's?

I then proceeded to look up the "Top Model" franchise of wikipedia. Among the information I found was the following:

Quote:

National franchises
United States (original) � Australia � Austria � Belgium �
Bosnia & Herzegovina � Brazil � Canada � China � Croatia � Denmark � Finland � France � Germany � Ghana � Greece � Hungary � Israel � Italy � Kazakhstan� Malta � Mexico � The Netherlands � New Zealand � Nigeria � Norway � Philippines � Russia � Slovakia � Spain � Sweden � Switzerland � Thailand � Turkey � United Kingdom

International franchises
Benelux � Central America � Scandinavia � West Africa

WHAT THE FUCK!?
I can understand the big ones on there, but Malta? Bosnia & Herzogovina!? And where the fuck is Ghana!?

Are all these small nations so fascinated with a crappy competition where excessively dramatic females compete over a title that's about as superficial as a paper-cut that they MUST have their own? Are there actually enough viewers to warrant an extension of the franchise? God...

Not to mention the international franchises! They might have a fairly large population, but really, "Skandinavia's next top model"? Is THAT what you want to become known as? Really?

Even the Idol series isn't as bad, at least in terms of being wide-spread to places where it should not be, and at least that's about music, not fashion. Admittedly, about listening to music getting raped by homologuos 20-somethings, but still music, and not a competition to see who has sufficient skill to display excessively complex clothing, designed by people who convince themselves that it's art to cater ANUALLY to the self-delusion of people with the money to spare that they can buy their products. I should probably further explore that stance, just to clarify what I really think, but I'm not here to rant about the concept of "fashion", I'm here to rant about the existence of "Nigeria's next top model".

Anyway, my weak belief in humanity has been shattered, and I'm desperately trying to convince myself that this is a communist conspiracy of some sort, or perhaps I'm just trapped in a horrible nightmare. Being a butterfly would be really attractive after this.

Professor Smarmiarty · 11-03-2009, 05:22 AM

NZ has prettier people than the rest of the world.
Also you know American Idol? We invented that. PopStars was a NZ show which got copied to make Pop Idol in Britain and then American Idol.
If you going to steal NZ shows, remake them into American shows, then lambast the NZ versions of these shows at least get your facts straight

.
Did you know Sweden has a version of Survivor too? How lame is that! Why can't they come up with their own ideas!

Geminex · 11-03-2009, 05:28 AM

Quote:

PopStars was a NZ show which got copied to make Pop Idol in Britain and then American Idol.

This... is a good thing? Really? Would you like to take credit for it? Are you proud of it?What other praseworthy achievements was New Zealand responsbiel for? World War I by any chance? Or the pandemic that was (misnamed) Spanish Influenza?

Professor Smarmiarty · 11-03-2009, 05:30 AM

In Vietnam we had the highest kills to death ratio of anybody, 500:1. If you need to massacre some unarmed civilians we got the Germans beat hardcore.

We helped invent the atomic bomb too- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ernest_Rutherford

Geminex · 11-03-2009, 05:49 AM

Look, New Zealand's a talented amateur, but don't try to Out-crimes-against-humanity us. We started the biggest war in the history of mankind* and did so efficiently, not to mention the Holocaust. Also, the foundations of the bomb were, I believe, laid in Germany. So please, just stand there and look pretty while the big criminals condemn homosexuals and healthcare.

*except for that one time the Atlanteans battled the nation of Australia, leaving both hyper-advanced civilisations crushed, Australia charred and filled with genetic mutants and Atlantis as a part of mexico

Professor Smarmiarty · 11-03-2009, 06:18 AM

In World War 2 Germany lost about 6 million soldiers/. You only killed 6 million Jews which is a ratio of 1:1, ie a lot less than 500:1 . And you had tanks and planes and killing chambers.
That 500:1 ratio was with World War 1 era rifles and knives. If we had the resources of Germany the world would be dead.

Also during World War 2 you did a pretty shitty job of exterminating the jews. You can kill 20 million Russians in the field of battle but only 6 million jews when you got them all locked up in camps. The British nearly worked that many to death in Africa alone to fund its war effort. Sloppy.

EVILNess · 11-03-2009, 06:31 AM

New this fall on FOX:

The World's Top War Crimes.

Tune in after House.

Si Civa · 11-03-2009, 07:17 AM

Finns invented the capitalism*.
Now, if that's not the greatest crime ever, then nothing is. It lacks war from our part though. :/

*Not really of course, but check this and this too.

Professor Smarmiarty · 11-03-2009, 07:22 AM

Well I'm know in Scotland, home of Adam Smith- proper founder of capitalism. War crimes follow me wherever I go!

Si Civa · 11-03-2009, 07:59 AM

Pfft, he just stole all the ideas from Chydeniu..It might even be true, but nobody knows for sure!

Damn you Scotts, you damn criminal masterminds. Stealing Finland's shames, how dare you?

11-03-2009, 05:22 AM	#2
Professor Smarmiarty Sent to the cornfield Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: K-space Posts: 9,758	NZ has prettier people than the rest of the world. Also you know American Idol? We invented that. PopStars was a NZ show which got copied to make Pop Idol in Britain and then American Idol. If you going to steal NZ shows, remake them into American shows, then lambast the NZ versions of these shows at least get your facts straight . Did you know Sweden has a version of Survivor too? How lame is that! Why can't they come up with their own ideas! Last edited by Professor Smarmiarty; 11-03-2009 at 05:29 AM.

11-03-2009, 05:30 AM	#4
Professor Smarmiarty Sent to the cornfield Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: K-space Posts: 9,758	In Vietnam we had the highest kills to death ratio of anybody, 500:1. If you need to massacre some unarmed civilians we got the Germans beat hardcore. We helped invent the atomic bomb too- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ernest_Rutherford Last edited by Professor Smarmiarty; 11-03-2009 at 05:33 AM.

11-03-2009, 06:18 AM	#6
Professor Smarmiarty Sent to the cornfield Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: K-space Posts: 9,758	In World War 2 Germany lost about 6 million soldiers/. You only killed 6 million Jews which is a ratio of 1:1, ie a lot less than 500:1 . And you had tanks and planes and killing chambers. That 500:1 ratio was with World War 1 era rifles and knives. If we had the resources of Germany the world would be dead. Also during World War 2 you did a pretty shitty job of exterminating the jews. You can kill 20 million Russians in the field of battle but only 6 million jews when you got them all locked up in camps. The British nearly worked that many to death in Africa alone to fund its war effort. Sloppy. Last edited by Professor Smarmiarty; 11-03-2009 at 06:31 AM.

11-03-2009, 05:49 AM	#5
Geminex SOM3WH3R3 Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 4,606	Look, New Zealand's a talented amateur, but don't try to Out-crimes-against-humanity us. We started the biggest war in the history of mankind* and did so efficiently, not to mention the Holocaust. Also, the foundations of the bomb were, I believe, laid in Germany. So please, just stand there and look pretty while the big criminals condemn homosexuals and healthcare. *except for that one time the Atlanteans battled the nation of Australia, leaving both hyper-advanced civilisations crushed, Australia charred and filled with genetic mutants and Atlantis as a part of mexico

11-03-2009, 07:17 AM	#8
Si Civa Nothing's gonna change my world Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 1,078	Finns invented the capitalism. Now, if that's not the greatest crime ever, then nothing is. It lacks war from our part though. :/ Not really of course, but check this and this too.

11-03-2009, 07:22 AM	#9
Professor Smarmiarty Sent to the cornfield Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: K-space Posts: 9,758	Well I'm know in Scotland, home of Adam Smith- proper founder of capitalism. War crimes follow me wherever I go!

11-03-2009, 07:59 AM	#10
Si Civa Nothing's gonna change my world Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 1,078	Pfft, he just stole all the ideas from Chydeniu..It might even be true, but nobody knows for sure! Damn you Scotts, you damn criminal masterminds. Stealing Finland's shames, how dare you?