UmbraLite: The ESTOC Missions 1-1

Astral Harmony · 05-17-2011, 05:10 AM

Chapter 1: "Flat" Out Insanity

"Captain, it's morning."
"Mmm...I couldn't possibly eat any more ramen..."
"Captain, please wake up and get dressed."
"What, beef and chicken flavor powder at the same time? How exotic..."
"Oh, for the love of goddamn, wake the shit up!"
"No, not in the face!"

Naomi reflexively shielded her face. Yuna, like Naomi, was a Slayer herself and a squad captain for the Fainas Metropolis branch of the Pokemon Advanced Tactics and Counterterrorism Agency, or PATCA. One of the only interactions the two Hiroshiho Empire women had daily was when Yuna came to wake Naomi up.
"Why're you here to wake me up, Yuna? I toss and turn in my bed all night, so I can use the act of falling out of my bed to wake me up."
"That assin' doesn't work these days."
"Why not?"
"Oh, I don't bitchin' know. Maybe it's because you're already on the pissin' floor?"
Naomi sat up and looked around. Truth be told, she indeed was no longer in her bed. And her body didn't ache, which suggested that she must have fallen out of the bed maybe an hour ago.

Yuna was still ready to strike. Naomi pulled herself off of the cold, unvacuumed carpeting and looked at her friend. Yuna had this weird quirk about her where she used the wrong swear all the time. She also used dual steel folding fans with loads of barbs in them, and Naomi could attest to how effective they were at inflicting agony.
"Look, would you goddamn get dressed so we can cuntin' leave? I'm sure PATCA has another thankless job for you."
"Yeah, sure. But, uhh, could we maybe get some breakfast on the way?"
"And I'm paying for it, right?"
Naomi had her hands clapped together in prayer. "Pretty please? You know I'm good for it, right?"
"You currently owe me 367 dollars and 22 cents in restaurant meals...y'know, the kind you always tell me that you're good for."
Naomi scratched the back of her head. "Ah heh heh heh."
"Whatever, let's just shittin' go, already."

Fully breakfasted and geared up, Naomi was finally at least semi-ready to embrace the day when Yuna pulled her sports car into the PATCA building parking lot.

"Morning, Naomi. Damn, you look tired."
Naomi came to attention and saluted. "Good morning, Bloody Rose!"
Irene chuckled. "Well, at least you seem to be full of pep as always. Oh, and your face doesn't have any fresh gash marks. I take it Yuna didn't wake you up via the usual methods."
Naomi sighed. "I really have to work on trying to become more self sufficient. It used to be that I had servants around for everything, from waking me up to cooking me breakfast."
"Even small lifestyle changes are difficult to cope with sometimes. Oh, I went ahead and checked out ESTOC's duties for today. Looks like you guys have another mission."
Naomi sighed. "Seriously? This is like the third one this week and it's only Monday."
"I blame Honmyr's rapid acceleration into an uncertain future," Irene shrugged. "I dunno how all these technological advances brought all the crazies out of the woodwork. You'd think with badasses like us patrolling the metropolis that they'd keep to themselves instead of becoming public nuisances."
"I guess that means ESTOC is responsible for paddling the ass of another loon?"
Irene nodded. "I don't wanna spoil it for you, so I just left the mission file on your desk."
"What desk?"
"That thing in your office with the giant drool stain and the stacks of paperwork that should have been filled out months ago."
"Ah."

Armored Bishoujo: "I like to get to bed early so I'm gonna end this post here. Take this opportunity to introduce your individual characters and get 'em over to the PATCA building. It's time to go to work."

05-17-2011, 05:10 AM	#1
Astral Harmony Don't Hate Me 'Cause I'm Moe Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Harmonial Sanctum Posts: 6,798	UmbraLite: The ESTOC Missions 1-1 Chapter 1: "Flat" Out Insanity "Captain, it's morning." "Mmm...I couldn't possibly eat any more ramen..." "Captain, please wake up and get dressed." "What, beef and chicken flavor powder at the same time? How exotic..." "Oh, for the love of goddamn, wake the shit up!" "No, not in the face!" Naomi reflexively shielded her face. Yuna, like Naomi, was a Slayer herself and a squad captain for the Fainas Metropolis branch of the Pokemon Advanced Tactics and Counterterrorism Agency, or PATCA. One of the only interactions the two Hiroshiho Empire women had daily was when Yuna came to wake Naomi up. "Why're you here to wake me up, Yuna? I toss and turn in my bed all night, so I can use the act of falling out of my bed to wake me up." "That assin' doesn't work these days." "Why not?" "Oh, I don't bitchin' know. Maybe it's because you're already on the pissin' floor?" Naomi sat up and looked around. Truth be told, she indeed was no longer in her bed. And her body didn't ache, which suggested that she must have fallen out of the bed maybe an hour ago. Yuna was still ready to strike. Naomi pulled herself off of the cold, unvacuumed carpeting and looked at her friend. Yuna had this weird quirk about her where she used the wrong swear all the time. She also used dual steel folding fans with loads of barbs in them, and Naomi could attest to how effective they were at inflicting agony. "Look, would you goddamn get dressed so we can cuntin' leave? I'm sure PATCA has another thankless job for you." "Yeah, sure. But, uhh, could we maybe get some breakfast on the way?" "And I'm paying for it, right?" Naomi had her hands clapped together in prayer. "Pretty please? You know I'm good for it, right?" "You currently owe me 367 dollars and 22 cents in restaurant meals...y'know, the kind you always tell me that you're good for." Naomi scratched the back of her head. "Ah heh heh heh." "Whatever, let's just shittin' go, already." Fully breakfasted and geared up, Naomi was finally at least semi-ready to embrace the day when Yuna pulled her sports car into the PATCA building parking lot. "Morning, Naomi. Damn, you look tired." Naomi came to attention and saluted. "Good morning, Bloody Rose!" Irene chuckled. "Well, at least you seem to be full of pep as always. Oh, and your face doesn't have any fresh gash marks. I take it Yuna didn't wake you up via the usual methods." Naomi sighed. "I really have to work on trying to become more self sufficient. It used to be that I had servants around for everything, from waking me up to cooking me breakfast." "Even small lifestyle changes are difficult to cope with sometimes. Oh, I went ahead and checked out ESTOC's duties for today. Looks like you guys have another mission." Naomi sighed. "Seriously? This is like the third one this week and it's only Monday." "I blame Honmyr's rapid acceleration into an uncertain future," Irene shrugged. "I dunno how all these technological advances brought all the crazies out of the woodwork. You'd think with badasses like us patrolling the metropolis that they'd keep to themselves instead of becoming public nuisances." "I guess that means ESTOC is responsible for paddling the ass of another loon?" Irene nodded. "I don't wanna spoil it for you, so I just left the mission file on your desk." "What desk?" "That thing in your office with the giant drool stain and the stacks of paperwork that should have been filled out months ago." "Ah." Armored Bishoujo: "I like to get to bed early so I'm gonna end this post here. Take this opportunity to introduce your individual characters and get 'em over to the PATCA building. It's time to go to work."