Let's Play Medieval II Total War: Polska, Jesteś moim Powietrzem

[Solid Snake]

THE FAQ: If You're New to this Let's Play, Read this First!



TABLE OF CONTENTS

Prologue







Let's Play and Let's Write: Medieval II Total War



Medieval II: Total War is a hybrid turn-based and real-time strategy game that enables nerdy gamers like us to rule over kingdoms in the Middle Ages. In this Let's Play, I'll be assuming the role of a medieval King in the year 1080 AD. Like in most Let's Plays, you'll all vote on critical decisions that will influence the development of our fledging feudal society. We'll be playing through the Grand Campaign. Generally speaking, battles with obvious outcomes will be skipped over (and mentioned in passing in the narrative,) while closer or larger battles will be played through (and I'll ask for appropriate advice in leading our armies.)

A new twist that I'm incorporating is a brief narrative I'll write, in a chapter-by-chapter format, that will introduce active participants in the topic (as well as a few NPF icons and legends) as characters in the story. You could be a diplomat, a spy, an army commander, a naval commander, a princess, or even an opposing King.

When you vote, you can either vote in the best interests of advancing the Let's Play (choosing the best option for the kingdom) or you can vote from the perspective of advancing the best interests of your character. Sometimes -- assuming I do my job well -- these goals will contradict. The best path for our kingdom's development may involve your character sacrificing his (or her) liberty or life for the cause.

If the narrative idea proves unpopular or too time-consuming, I'll just scrap it and revert back to a more traditional Let's Play format. I consider this merely an experimental procedure in different formats a Let's Play can take.

For now, our first order of business is to decide which country we'll be leading. As there are a whopping seventeen choices, instead of forcing you all to select just one, you'll be able to rank your top three choices, first to last. Your first choice receives three points, your second choice receives two points, and your third choice receives a single point. In the end, whichever option has the most points is the country we'll assume control over.

England:

Recently conquered by Norman invaders, England in 1080 AD is economically stable and benefits from the support of the Pope. Though threats exist from perpetual enemy France to the south and the uncivilized Scots to the north, England has a relatively secure position on its isolated island and need not fear massive invading armies. However, England's separation from the European continent presents a logistical barrier against further expansion, and England is not in an ideal position to launch a successful crusade into the Holy Lands. Furthermore, the castle of Caen in Normandy is separated from most English possessions and is a likely target of frequent French incursions.

England benefits from extraordinary longbow archers and great late-period units. Its early-game infantry and cavalry lack somewhat in quality compared to its neighbors. The current King of England (whose rule we would be assuming) has a nasty reputation as a treacherous user of blackmail, spies, and assassins to achieve devious plots.

France:

Less a single cohesive kingdom and more a hodgepodge concoction of disparate feudal duchies and fiefdoms, France in 1080 AD is suffering from an extensive network of pilfering robber barons and a general lack of cohesiveness or security. France controls a large amount of territory, separated into northern (Angers / Paris / Rheims) and southern (Toulouse / Marseilles) regions. Compared to its neighbors, France is technologically advanced and militaristically powerful, but several French officers are actively disloyal to the cause.

The French benefit from some of the strongest late-period units in the game, including some of the game's best cavalry. Unfortunately, its early-period lineup is less lucrative. The present king of France is young, chivalrous and very likable...but also very naive, hopelessly idealistic and blind to the very real problems facing his kingdom.

The Holy Roman Empire:

Controlling a silver of territory in eastern Italy, as well as Bavaria, Austria, and much of Germany, the Holy Roman Empire has the largest starting position in the game, and controls the most towns and castles. However, its central location on the map leaves it surrounded by potential enemies. Furthermore, the Kaiser's recent rivalry with the Rome has undermined his standing with the Papacy. While the Reich musters a massive army, its army is spread too thin, as too much territory needs to be protected.

The Holy Roman Empire has strong early-period units, yet correspondingly lacks in late-period power. The current Emperor (or Kaiser) in the HRE is perhaps Europe's second best known personality (after only the Pope): he is extraordinarily ambitious, beloved by some yet hated by others, and notably despised by the Catholic establishment in Rome.

Spain:

Leon, Castile and Galicia only recently combined into a single independent Kingdom during the rule of the present King Alfonso. On the one hand, Spain's starting position is dire: the Muslim Moors control the southern half of the Iberian peninsula, while Portugal lingers in the west and a fiercely independent army led by the brilliant general El Cid holds Valencia to the east. On the other hand, Spain has the opportunity to expand into foreign territory without upsetting the Papacy, and a relatively clear path through Africa exists for Spanish Crusades to plow through.

The Spanish have an excellent navy and great light cavalry and light infantry units. Their armored units, however, leave something to be desired. The present king of Spain is a skilled military commander but a piss-poor bureaucrat and a terrible politician.

Venice:

The town of Venice benefits from the game's best defensive position. As a city surrounded by water, it's an exorbitantly tough city to conquer. More notably, however, in 1080 Venice's expansion into Illyria and Crete have left it the world's dominant mercantile power. With the game's best starting navy and an abundance of riches in its coffers, Venice has the opportunity to develop into an economic powerhouse. Yet its resource-rich territories are likely to be coveted by neighboring kingdoms, particularly the Holy Roman Empire (which surrounds Venice) and Hungary.

Venice benefits from the ability to produce some of its best units in cities (as opposed to castles,) which frees its economy considerably. It fields decent infantry but poor cavalry -- Venice does not have incredible 'homegrown' military units, and often must hire its armies as mercenaries. The current Doge (King) is an intelligent politician, but he's not an exceptional military leader.

Sicily:

Norman invaders (unrelated to those who recently sacked England) recently conquered Sicily, which had been ruled by Muslim Berbers, and are in the process of converting the island back to Christianity. These blonde, blue-eyed foreign invaders also succeeded in conquering much of southern Italy, with the Pope's blessing. As a newfound powerhouse in the central Mediterranean, Sicily's borders with Europe are adequately shielded by the presence of Rome, leaving it with the opportunity to expand southward into Africa or east into Greece.

The presence of Muslims in Sicily gives the Sicilians access to a hybrid lineup of both Christian and Islamic fighting units. The Normans have strong knights and the Muslims contribute strong archers and light cavalry. Notoriously lacking from the Sicilian ranks are halfway decent infantry units. The present king of Sicily is a fairly respectable commander with an otherwise bland and unmemorable personality.

Milan:

The Duke of Milan has perhaps the best starting position of all the Italian powers. The Alps create a natural barrier between Milan's territory and the lands of France and the Holy Roman Empire, but a few easily-defended mountain passes give Milan access to potentially move north into Europe. Milan's homeland does not quite benefit from Venice's inherent wealth and abundance, but the city of Milan is still relatively well-developed.

Milan benefits from access to technologically advanced units like crossbowmen, and Milan also possesses strong infantry militia forces. Milan does not, however, have cavalry that could remotely compete with HRE or France. Its Duke is a severe, unforgiving and unlikable personality, but his heir is an intellectual genius with incredible potential. Neither of them are particularly religious, however, which may present problems with the nearby Papacy.

Scotland:

Though small, poor and disadvantaged, the isolated Scottish highlanders are naturally gifted warriors with additional bonuses when fighting in wooded or snowy terrain. Only nearby England presents a short-term threat to the Scottish, but England has sizable military and economic advantages, which a savvy Scottish general must compensate for through superior strategy and deceit. Scotland's survival largely depends on sustaining excellent relations with the Papacy, as well as other nearby powers like France or Denmark.

The Scottish have access to strong spearmen and pike-wielding units, which compensates somewhat for an egregious lack of heavy cavalry. The present King of Scotland is a brilliant, noble, and beloved ruler, but he is growing older...and his heir is a bloodthirsty monster known to mindlessly slaughter his opponents.

The Byzantine Empire:

The last vestiges of the Roman Empire have defiantly grasped territory surrounding the western world's center of culture, commerce, and diplomacy: the city of Constantinople. The wealthy, technologically advanced city is greedily coveted by Muslims and Catholics alike. Yet, the Orthodox Christians who rule over Byzantium have the advantage of repelling foreign invasions behind Europe's largest and most daunting wall. The Byzantines, like Venice, have a strong defensive position and a notable mercantile presence, but fiscal issues require the Byzantines to expand in order to afford Constantinople's largess.

The Byzantines have access to a powerful early-period army, but maintaining their armies is an expensive affair. They'll often have to rely on superior quality to outmatch the far greater quantity of units foes like the Turks can throw at them. The current Emperor of Byzantium is, like most Byzantine Emperors, thoroughly mediocre and amenable to corruption.

Russia:

The Russians begin the game, quite literally, in the middle of nowhere. Their nearest competitors, the Polish, are several territories away from their isolated position. This presents the Cossacks the opportunity to unify the Steppes while facing minimal opposition. Unfortunately, Russia's starting position exposes it to a likely invasion from eastern hordes (whose names end with 'Khan') and Russia's Orthodox Christian faith makes it a potential target of every Catholic nation. Furthermore, Russia's land is difficult to develop economically in a sustainable manner. In order to afford its ambitions, Russia must take money through conquest.

Russia starts with poor early-period infantry and decent cavalry. Its cavalry ultimately substantially improve, but its infantry forces are always somewhat lacking. However, Russian infantry is also dirt-cheap, which enables the Russians to attempt to substantially outnumber its foes. The current Grand Duke of Novgorod is a bloodthirsty, crazed menace of a man, but he's also a decent military leader.

The Moors:

Originating as nomads from northwestern Africa, the Moors ultimately converted to Islam and became feared aggressors, invading and successfully conquering much of Spain. In fact, the towns of Cordoba and Grenada represent the richest lands in Iberia, and the Moors have the advantage of the best possible starting position among the Iberian contenders. Unfortunately, they'll need all the help they can get. The Moors' Muslim faith makes them a likely target for the Pope's Crusades, and a strong minority of peasants in their Iberian territories are Christians begging for the opportunity to rebel against their noblemen. A savvy diplomatic strategy is necessary for the Moors to maintain their dominant position in Iberia.

The Moors benefit from a phenomenal early-period army that gradually weakens in comparison to the European lineups by the end of the game. Unfortunately, its current Sultan is an old, ineffective and unpopular leader, presenting a further barrier to potential short-term expansion opportunities.

The Turks:

Recent invaders of Anatolia, the nomadic Turks have only recently decided to settle down after crushing the Byzantines at Manzikert. Though the Turks face strong potential opposition from the Egyptian Caliphate from the south, the weakening Byzantine holdings to the west provide opportunities for expansion. Diving too deep into Europe too soon would likely result in a crushing response from Catholic kingdoms, but a gradual, systemic approach could solidify a budding empire. The Turks also have the option to expand north into the Steppes, but they're eventually going to have to contest with eastern invaders to hold these territories.

In many ways, the Turks are the opposite of the Moors. Their early-period consists of exploiting weak, yet cheap, infantry and combining these with decent missile cavalry. Their units require exploiting 'hit and run' tactics. Eventually, the Turks get access to superior weaponry and can become a dominant military power. Their initial Sultan is young, intelligent, and strong-willed.

Egypt:

The strongest Muslim faction in Medieval 2, the Fatimid dynasty also has the advantage of advocating (comparative) religious tolerance. Shi'ites, Sunnis, Jews and Christians all work in higher-level government positions, and the Caliphate benefits from the diversity of its people. Egypt's wealth is virtually unparalleled, its cities are technologically advanced, and it is in an ideal position to grow in the early period, as it is surrounded by rebel territories and faces few nearby enemies. Unfortunately, Egypt's proximity to the Holy Lands makes it an inevitable target of Catholic crusades, and many opponents will be targeting the Egyptians throughout the game.

Egypt has strong Mamluk cavalry, but they lack heavy infantry. Egyptian units receive something of a bonus in desert combat situations comparable to the Scottish bonuses in woodlands and snow. (More accurately, they simply aren't penalized by the heat and sand, while every European faction's units suffer.) Subsequently, Egypt can defend its home territories quite well, but they face steeper challenges in conquering foreign lands. The present Sultan is an intellectual genius and a decent military leader.

Denmark:

A tiny faction consisting of only a single territory, Denmark faces great obstacles but also has incredible opportunities to potentially exploit. Its unique armies are heavily influenced by the nearby Vikings, and subsequently, Denmark relies disproportionately on axes and two-handed swords (compared to spears or other weapons.) Denmark starts the game with a decent starting army and faces two options: it can expand north into rebellious, tumultuous Scandinavia or attempt to establish holdings in the Baltics. Denmark's town is relatively underdeveloped and its economy lags throughout much of the early game, but its military units are stout and often fight until the bitter end.

Denmark's early-period units are almost uniformly stronger than its later-period options, which presents Denmark with something of an artificial time-limit: despite its difficulties in expanding quickly, it must expand sufficiently to take advantage of its military units before other nations 'catch up.' The present King of Denmark embodies this philosophy, as a 'risk-taking attacker' who throws himself into battle at a whim.

Portugal:

The Portuguese are in competition with the Scottish for possessing the weakest starting position in the game. In Portugal's case, their two starting territories are separated from each other by territory possessed by the Spanish and the Moors -- and neither faction is on particularly pleasant terms with Lisbon. Portugal is also the youngest of the kingdoms, just founded by King Henrique, who had to survive a betrayal from his own mother first. In a sense, games as Portugal often boil down to "surviving until the New World opens, then rushing into America and exploiting it to make tons of money." The alternative requires expert diplomacy to force the Moors and Spain into a devastating conflict, and reaping the rewards of their efforts.

The Portuguese, frankly, have crappy military units. Their Jinettes are presumably missile cavalry but their range sucks, and once they're close enough to fire, Knights can tear them to shreds. They supposedly have decent light infantry, but I find they're consistently outmatched by the Spanish or Moorish equivalents. Their one bright spot is their naval capabilities.

Poland:

The recently Christianized Poland earned credibility with the Papacy by siding with the Pope in a recent dispute between Rome and the Holy Roman Empire. Subsequently, Poland benefits from a respectably strong starting position, at least in terms of its diplomatic credibility. There are several rebellious territories nearby that can be conquered, the Holy Roman Empire (while possessing a far stronger military) is too far stretched in its commitments to present an immediate threat, and Poland begins in 1080 AD stronger and with greater opportunities than its southern neighbors, the Maygars. King Wladyslaw, the most chivalrous leader in Europe, is beloved.

Unfortunately, potential early-game successes can become late-game nightmares for Poland, as Russia and the Holy Roman Empire are likely to frequently collide with its smaller neighbor. Poland does, however, benefit from possessing some of the best cavalry units available. Its infantry is weaker, though, and in later periods the Holy Roman Empire gains access to several upgrades the Polish cannot benefit from.

Hungary:

The Maygars, representing the furthest fringe elements of Catholic expansion by 1080 AD, are burdened by a starting position that places them smack dab between Venice, the Holy Roman Empire, Poland, and the Byzantines. On the bright side, however, the Maygars' starting location enables them plenty of opportunities for diplomatic blindsiding, covert operations, and crazy battles. Assuming the Maygars ally with at least one of their neighbors, they can survive their early-game trials and gain access to heavily armored knights and superior Maygar bowmen. Furthermore, expansion north or south (against the Byzantines or Russia) comes with the blessings of the Pope.


All right, you're all free to vote now. (I only reserve the right to vote in order to break a tie, if absolutely necessary.)

[Kim]

I have one vote and that vote is for France.

[Azisien]

1. Holy Roman Empire (time to take it back!)
2. Denmark
3. Scotland (a drunken empire for all....YES)

[Ravashak]

1: Poland, did those guys ever do something historically?
2: England, all hail Britannia xP
3: Portugal, have fun being on the Iberian Peninsula with Spain and the Moors as big competition

[The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk]

1. Britain.
2. Holy Roman Empire.
3. Egypt.

[Wigmund]

1) Russia
2) Poland
3) Denmark

[Dauntasa]

1: VENICE: Because the Venetian Heavy Infantry are the most awesome unit in the game. Plus, they have Musketeers and some nice cannons, as well as Venetian Archers, who are also pretty awesome. Also, Monster Ribaults kick ass.
2: Turks: Because of their janissaries and the Monster Bombard, which is the biggest fucking cannon ever. It's so big that you only get two per unit instead of one, but it takes down any wall in basically one shot and can smash entire units by itself, so that doesn't matter so much.
3: Russia: 'Cause they've got some cool stuff and Cossacks are pretty good.

ADDITIONAL: There's already a Narrative Let's Play of MTW2 on Lparchive. They did Scotland and wrote a whole story about Scotland conquering the world as they played. It was pretty good. You should read it. It's called "A Scotsman in Egypt.

[Solid Snake]

Originally Posted by Dauntasa

1: VENICE: Because the Venetian Heavy Infantry are the most awesome unit in the game.

They're not cavalry. They can't be the most awesome unit in the game by default.

Anyway I'm going to go on record and say I'm not going to write anything the caliber of "A Scotsman in Egypt." But I'll try for something entertaining, nonetheless.

[The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk]

Originally Posted by Solid Snake

They're not elephants with cannons on their backs. They can't be the most awesome unit in the game by default.

Fixed that for you.

[Azisien]

Originally Posted by Hawk

Fixed that for you.

My singular encounter with Medieval II Total War was a great one: I fended off an invading French army numbering about 10,000 with, if memory serves, 500 or so Elephants-With-Freaking-Cannons.

I was the victor, and I don't blame them for retreating at all either.