Texas Governor Deploys National Guard To Protect Against Obama Conspiracy

Karrrrrrrrrrrresche · 05-03-2015, 10:47 AM

Alternate title: Texas does its best to usurp the hard won title of Bullshit Mountain.

http://www.npr.org/blogs/itsallpolit.../02/403865824/
http://talkingpointsmemo.com/news/te...itary-takeover

Quote:

Since General Sam Houston executed his famous retreat to glory to defeat the superior forces of General Antonio Lopez de Santa Anna, Texas has been ground zero for military training. We have so many military bases in the Lone Star State we could practically attack Russia.

So when rookie Texas Gov. Greg Abbott announced he was ordering the Texas National Guard to monitor a Navy SEAL/Green Beret joint training exercise, which was taking place in Texas and several other states, everybody here looked up from their iPhones. What?

It seems there is concern among some folks that this so-called training maneuver is just a cover story. What's really going on? President Obama is about to use Special Forces to put Texas under martial law.

Quote:

Texas Republican Gov. Greg Abbott on Tuesday asked the State Guard to monitor a U.S. military training exercise dubbed "Jade Helm 15" amid Internet-fueled suspicions that the war simulation is really a hostile military takeover.

The request comes a day after more than 200 people packed a meeting in rural Bastrop County and questioned a U.S. Army commander about whether the government was planning to confiscate guns or implement martial law. Bastrop County Judge Paul Pape said "conspiracy theorists" and "fear mongers" had been in a frenzy.

Quote:

"It is important that Texans know their safety, constitutional rights, private property rights and civil liberties will not be infringed," Abbott wrote. "By monitoring the Operation on a continual basis, the State Guard will facilitate communications between my office and the commanders of the Operation to ensure that adequate measures are in place to protect Texans."

Congrats to Texas for being the only ones to see through the conspiracy, which involves Wal-Marts, FEMA, A Texas Ranger and ISIS.
This is so not news though.

Bard The 5th LW · 05-03-2015, 03:31 PM

It sounds to me like they REALLY want to give the rest of America a reason to put them under martial law at any rate.

Flarecobra · 05-03-2015, 05:29 PM

Wait, what?

Shyria Dracnoir · 05-03-2015, 05:56 PM

No mention of lizard people anywhere in that conspiracy

0/10 would not recommend

Hatake Kakashi · 05-04-2015, 02:33 AM

See, this is what happens when cousins fuck. I can't think of any other reason anyone would be that pants-shitting stupid.

shiney · 05-04-2015, 10:25 AM

An entire decade of shit-your-pants-with-terror preaching being broadcast from the leaders of a major US political party paired with the insane theories that have not only been allowed to thrive but in fact given platforms, support, funding, and credibility by the very same leaders has a little something to do with it.

This isn't about people being stupid. This is a natural growth of the environment carefully cultivated by Ted Cruz and people like him who exploit and direct the ignorance of the populace. These people are stupid, and crazy, let's not misunderstand, but they are coddled and given positive reinforcement by national leaders instead of being called pants-shitting idiots who should be institutionalized.

Doc ock rokc · 05-04-2015, 03:25 PM

The Governor doesn't even have any real power in Texas thanks to all kinds of fun past politics. he can move some troops around but even then he has to get approval from the Assistant gov.

Loyal · 05-05-2015, 05:17 PM

It gets better: Chuck Norris weighs in.

Not gonna let no gubmint take over OUR state, no, sirree, Bob.

RobinStarwing · 05-05-2015, 05:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Loyal

It gets better: Chuck Norris weighs in.

Not gonna let no gubmint take over OUR state, no, sirree, Bob.

I think Chuck Norris has become senile in his old age.

Edit: Related to the above and another thread I started...someone managed to connect the Planet Nibiru, Jade Helm, and Walmart altogether as part some plot!

I'm beginning to think Marissa Picard is not that bad a Fanfic series.

Magus · 05-10-2015, 12:22 PM

I don't know why they're so afraid of martial law being declared when all they would have to do is deploy their nuclear option.

05-03-2015, 05:29 PM	#3
Flarecobra Burn. Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Classified Posts: 11,017	Wait, what? __________________ "Only the fool wishes to go into battle to beat someone for the satisfaction of beating someone." -A Thousand Sons Rules. Read them, know them, love them.

05-03-2015, 05:56 PM	#4
Shyria Dracnoir Kawaii-ju Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Monster Island Posts: 4,240	No mention of lizard people anywhere in that conspiracy 0/10 would not recommend __________________ Godzilla vs. Gamera (1994)

05-04-2015, 10:25 AM	#6
shiney Derrrrrrrrrrrrrp. Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: The land of fartz and buttz Posts: 8,266	An entire decade of shit-your-pants-with-terror preaching being broadcast from the leaders of a major US political party paired with the insane theories that have not only been allowed to thrive but in fact given platforms, support, funding, and credibility by the very same leaders has a little something to do with it. This isn't about people being stupid. This is a natural growth of the environment carefully cultivated by Ted Cruz and people like him who exploit and direct the ignorance of the populace. These people are stupid, and crazy, let's not misunderstand, but they are coddled and given positive reinforcement by national leaders instead of being called pants-shitting idiots who should be institutionalized. __________________ boop

05-04-2015, 03:25 PM	#7
Doc ock rokc ...Really? Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: in Theory. Everything works here Posts: 3,961	The Governor doesn't even have any real power in Texas thanks to all kinds of fun past politics. he can move some troops around but even then he has to get approval from the Assistant gov. __________________ I have a Pesterchum its DangerousDoc I am ether fading out of Time, Space, or Reality...Or Simply my Typewriter is running out of ink

05-10-2015, 12:22 PM	#10
Magus Archer and Armstrong vs. the World Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Pennsylvania Posts: 7,164	I don't know why they're so afraid of martial law being declared when all they would have to do is deploy their nuclear option. __________________ The Valiant Review

05-03-2015, 03:31 PM	#2
Bard The 5th LW Feelin' Super! Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 4,191	It sounds to me like they REALLY want to give the rest of America a reason to put them under martial law at any rate.