Helping to keep our country safe...

Tev · 03-22-2010, 06:42 PM

Okay, last thread for me for the week....promise.

So it seems the Pentagon has a "Contact Us" button on it's site that it uses to garner ideas from the general populous on how it could be doing it's job better. Well Americans have spoken and it turns out that para-trooping bears is the way to go in our continued fight against terror.

Quote:

There are many facets to what makes a good, innovative company, these days. Great products. Competitive prices. Top-notch service and support. A symbiotic relationship with one's customers. Even the Pentagon, it seems, is in on that last one. Go to the Defense Department's Web site and you'll find a contact us button--and, rather unsurprisingly, you'll find it gets used a lot.

As well as all the usual conspiracy theorists' twaddle, some people take it upon themselves to suggest ways that the U.S. Army could do better...

"Bears have scent detection that is far superior to bloodhounds," reads one idea. "Trained bears with GPS and day/night cameras around their necks might be able to hunt down the scent of Osama Bin Laden, even in and through any caves and tunnels. Overnight, parachute some bears into areas Osama Bin Laden might be. Attempt to train bears to take off parachutes after landing, or use parachutes that self-destruct after landing."

First of all, it seems, train your bear.

And then find an old pair of Osama's underpants for the ursine forces to cop a whiff.

I think this idea holds merit. What other suggestions do you have for our country's high level command?

Professor Smarmiarty · 03-22-2010, 06:46 PM

Nuke everyone. It's really the only way to be sure. And the Russians have gotten sloppy- no way their second strike capability is where it used to be.

Dauntasa · 03-22-2010, 06:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Smarty McBarrelpants

Nuke everyone. It's really the only way to be sure. And the Russians have gotten sloppy- no way their second strike capability is where it used to be.

Still, better nuke them first.

Geminex · 03-22-2010, 07:04 PM

Yes, that's what he said. He's also saying that the drain of godless communism on the mind and body of man will prevent them from retaliating in kind.

Though personally, I don't think Russia's that much of a threat.

No, we need to reevaluate our targets.
Personally, I would recommend pre-emptive strikes against Canada, Norway, Denmark, Poland, Belgium, Switzerland and the Vatican.
They're too quiet.
They're up to something.
And if you think they're harmless...
Well, that's what they want you to think.

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03-22-2010, 06:46 PM	#2
Professor Smarmiarty Sent to the cornfield Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: K-space Posts: 9,758	Nuke everyone. It's really the only way to be sure. And the Russians have gotten sloppy- no way their second strike capability is where it used to be.

03-22-2010, 07:04 PM	#4
Geminex SOM3WH3R3 Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 4,606	Yes, that's what he said. He's also saying that the drain of godless communism on the mind and body of man will prevent them from retaliating in kind. Though personally, I don't think Russia's that much of a threat. No, we need to reevaluate our targets. Personally, I would recommend pre-emptive strikes against Canada, Norway, Denmark, Poland, Belgium, Switzerland and the Vatican. They're too quiet. They're up to something. And if you think they're harmless... Well, that's what they want you to think.