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Unread 01-24-2010, 11:39 PM   #1
bluestarultor
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bluestarultor is one of Jay-Z's 99 problems. Possibly two. bluestarultor is one of Jay-Z's 99 problems. Possibly two. bluestarultor is one of Jay-Z's 99 problems. Possibly two. bluestarultor is one of Jay-Z's 99 problems. Possibly two. bluestarultor is one of Jay-Z's 99 problems. Possibly two. bluestarultor is one of Jay-Z's 99 problems. Possibly two. bluestarultor is one of Jay-Z's 99 problems. Possibly two. bluestarultor is one of Jay-Z's 99 problems. Possibly two. bluestarultor is one of Jay-Z's 99 problems. Possibly two. bluestarultor is one of Jay-Z's 99 problems. Possibly two.
Default Internet stories.

So, yeah, my mom bombards me with this kind of crap, but this one is actually pretty good. Cleaned up to remove religious BS (yes, a Catholic calling it religious BS):


GIANT WALL OF TEXTAlice Grayson was to bake a cake for the Baptist Church Ladies' Group in Tuscaloosa, but forgot to do it until the last minute. She remembered it the morning of the bake sale and after rummaging through cabinets, found an angel food cake mix & quickly made it while drying her hair, dressing, and helping her son pack up for Scout camp.


When she took the cake from the oven, the center had dropped flat and the cake was horribly disfigured and she exclaimed, "Oh dear, there is not time to bake another cake!" This cake was important to Alice because she did so want to fit in at her new church, and in her new community of friends. So, being inventive, she looked around the house for something to build up the center of the cake. She found it in the bathroom - a roll of toilet paper. She plunked it in and then covered it with icing.


Not only did the finished product look beautiful, it looked perfect. And, before she left the house to drop the cake by the church and head for work, Alice woke her daughter and gave her some money and specific instructions to be at the bake sale the moment it opened at 9:30 and to buy the cake and bring it home. When the daughter arrived at the sale, she found the attractive, perfect cake had already been sold. Amanda grabbed her cell phone & called her mom.


Alice was horrified - she was beside herself! Everyone would know! What would they think? She would be ostracized, talked about, ridiculed! All night, Alice lay awake in bed thinking about people pointing fingers at her and talking about her behind her back.


The next day, Alice promised herself she would try not to think about the cake and would attend the fancy luncheon/bridal shower at the home of a fellow church member and try to have a good time. She did not really want to attend because the hostess was a snob who more than once had looked down her nose at the fact that Alice was a single parent and not from the founding families of Tuscaloosa, but having already RSVP'd, she couldn't think of a believable excuse to stay home.


The meal was elegant, the company was definitely upper crust old south and to Alice's horror, the cake in question was presented for dessert! Alice felt the blood drain from her body when she saw the cake! She started out of her chair to tell the hostess all about it, but before she could get to her feet, the Mayor's wife said, "what a beautiful cake!"


Alice, still stunned, sat back in her chair when she heard the hostess (who was a prominent church member) say, "Thank you, I baked it myself."





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Last edited by bluestarultor; 01-24-2010 at 11:41 PM.
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Unread 01-26-2010, 10:28 AM   #2
Jagos
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Jagos can see why kids love Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Jagos can see why kids love Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Jagos can see why kids love Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Jagos can see why kids love Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Jagos can see why kids love Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Jagos can see why kids love Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Jagos can see why kids love Cinnamon Toast Crunch.
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Holy crap, HILARITY! XD
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Unread 01-26-2010, 02:15 PM   #3
Funka Genocide
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Funka Genocide can see why kids love Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Funka Genocide can see why kids love Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Funka Genocide can see why kids love Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Funka Genocide can see why kids love Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Funka Genocide can see why kids love Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Funka Genocide can see why kids love Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Funka Genocide can see why kids love Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Funka Genocide can see why kids love Cinnamon Toast Crunch.
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for some reason this story filled me with rage.

I genuinely hate these things.

I am probably just an angry dude or something, but man, I can't believe people actually like this drivel.

Ironically enough, my own prejudice makes me think anyone who writes these things is automatically a racist. Isn't that weird?

Last edited by Funka Genocide; 01-26-2010 at 02:19 PM.
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Unread 01-26-2010, 07:03 PM   #4
bluestarultor
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bluestarultor is one of Jay-Z's 99 problems. Possibly two. bluestarultor is one of Jay-Z's 99 problems. Possibly two. bluestarultor is one of Jay-Z's 99 problems. Possibly two. bluestarultor is one of Jay-Z's 99 problems. Possibly two. bluestarultor is one of Jay-Z's 99 problems. Possibly two. bluestarultor is one of Jay-Z's 99 problems. Possibly two. bluestarultor is one of Jay-Z's 99 problems. Possibly two. bluestarultor is one of Jay-Z's 99 problems. Possibly two. bluestarultor is one of Jay-Z's 99 problems. Possibly two. bluestarultor is one of Jay-Z's 99 problems. Possibly two.
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I'll admit, I get this kind of crap forwarded to me all the time and I usually delete it after reading the first quarter or so, but this one was just so ironic. I'm big on irony.
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Originally Posted by Drake Clawfang
Aerith is clearly the most badass character ever. She saves the world. Twice. While dead. No one else can claim that, can they?
I'm gone from here for good. This place gave me many memories to take with me and shaped me greatly. I still care about you guys. I just can't stay.

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Unread 01-26-2010, 07:08 PM   #5
Wigmund
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Wigmund INVENTED reputation, you know! Wigmund INVENTED reputation, you know! Wigmund INVENTED reputation, you know! Wigmund INVENTED reputation, you know! Wigmund INVENTED reputation, you know! Wigmund INVENTED reputation, you know! Wigmund INVENTED reputation, you know! Wigmund INVENTED reputation, you know!
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Wow, it's like rummaging through my parents' old Reader Digests when I was younger. These kind of jokes/fables/whatever were in those all the time.
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Unread 01-27-2010, 02:12 AM   #6
Premmy
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Premmy did away with the unicorn requirement and straight up farts rainbows on their own. Premmy did away with the unicorn requirement and straight up farts rainbows on their own. Premmy did away with the unicorn requirement and straight up farts rainbows on their own. Premmy did away with the unicorn requirement and straight up farts rainbows on their own. Premmy did away with the unicorn requirement and straight up farts rainbows on their own. Premmy did away with the unicorn requirement and straight up farts rainbows on their own. Premmy did away with the unicorn requirement and straight up farts rainbows on their own. Premmy did away with the unicorn requirement and straight up farts rainbows on their own. Premmy did away with the unicorn requirement and straight up farts rainbows on their own. Premmy did away with the unicorn requirement and straight up farts rainbows on their own. Premmy did away with the unicorn requirement and straight up farts rainbows on their own.
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"funny" Anecdotes
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