Figure we need a proper joke thread

[Nique]

Is that really a joke though? Or just social commentary? Does a joke, like art, defy a single commonly accepted definetion?

[Terex4]

Originally Posted by Nique

Is that really a joke though? Or just social commentary? Does a joke, like art, defy a single commonly accepted definetion?

That one seemed to manage both a punchline and social commentary. I would figure a joke by definition is a false statement or story that others find humorous.

On topic:
Two drums and a cymbal fall into the grand canyon

Ba dum tsh.

[Amake]

The Duchess was just way too refined a lady to deign to know anything that may help the narrator's class of person.

Also, standard complaint about the weak stomachs and numbed sense of humor of the youth and seriously, we are concerned about the image the forum presents now? Fine, no cutting edge material, I'll keep it nice and cuddly in the future.

. . .

Hey, did you hear this joke from over in the art forum? The World's Most Politically Correct Joke. I think it's been approved by the United Nations.

Boy: I have two cookies.
Girl: I have no cookies.
Boy: Here, I give you one of my cookies.
Girl: Thank you. Now we both have the same amount of cookie.
Boy: Everyone should be nice to each other.

[Fenris]

Originally Posted by IQ

Also, standard complaint about the weak stomachs and numbed sense of humor of the youth and seriously, we are concerned about the image the forum presents now? Fine, no cutting edge material, I'll keep it nice and cuddly in the future.

Yes, sorry my stomach isn't made out of pure iron like you wise and venerable ancients, but there is no time ever where a novel dedicated to some of the most repugnant and morally reprehensible topics that I have ever had the misfortune to witness is acceptable.

Hey, did you hear this joke from over in the art forum? The World's Most Politically Correct Joke. I think it's been approved by the United Nations.

I think you need a new schtick.

[Geminex]

Boy: I have two cookies.
Girl: I have no cookies.
Boy: Here, I give you one of my cookies.
Girl: Thank you. Now we both have the same amount of cookie.
Boy: Everyone should be nice to each other.

I don't get it. Where do the dead babies come in?

[POS Industries]

Originally Posted by Invisible Queen

and seriously, we are concerned about the image the forum presents now?

I was trying to nice about it, IQ.

Do not force me to do otherwise.

[Amake]

I think you need a new schtick.

There's just no pleasing you, is there?

How about this story from the last humor thread that I'm betting no one remembers:

Once upon a time there was a bus driver. He did his job fairly and well, and did not consider himself a timid man, until one day the monster came on his bus.

'Monster don't pay', it said, and walked right by the driver and sat down in the back of the bus.

The driver was more than speechless, he was paralyzed, drained of all thought. He failed to report the incident to his supervisors, but carried it in silence for almost a week, until it happened again.

Like before, the thing squeezed through the bus door and forcefully stepped past the driver, barely recognizing his existence with a dismissive look and again, the words, spoken like a wet rotting thing from under the earth, 'Monster don't pay.'

This went on for several months, during which the driver often switched shifts and drove different routes, but the creature almost seemed to follow him, taunting, mocking, delighting in the terror it gave and the power it held over the poor driver. All it ever said, like a mantra, was 'Monster don't pay.'

Eventually, the driver's resolve grew stronger. He said to his bus driver wife one night, 'I'm not going to let it beat me', and as he spoke he felt some steel deep inside the core of himself that he had not before been aware of. He took night classes, and as his shift changed he took day classes, in positive thinking, in conflict management, in assertiveness and confidence, in the arts of war and martial combat. He lifted weights and ran, and slowly his bus driver belly turned into muscles, and he began moving with a different poise, a different purpose in his step and a newfound gentleness in the swing of his shoulders, as if he was taking care not to break things as he touched them.

Eventually, the driver was ready. On a crisp spring morning like any other the monster came on his bus and said, with the same nonchalant cruelty as always, 'Monster don't pay.' But this time, the driver embraced the steel within him and spoke, with a loud and commanding voice.

'And why doesn't Monster pay for his ticket like everyone else?' he said.

'Monster has month card', it said.

Originally Posted by POS Industries

I was trying to nice about it, IQ.

Do not force me to do otherwise.

Sorry? I'm completely on board with the fact that we have an image now, I'm just wondering when it happened, since way back when I posted that joke the last time there was nothing wrong with it. Guess I'm feeling a bit nostalgic about that and surprised that things have changed.

I can see how you could read my post as challenging the mods, if I was really really stupid, but that wasn't my intent.

[Kim]

Glenn Beck

[Fenris]

Originally Posted by Invisible Queen

There's just no pleasing you, is there?

Originally Posted by IQ

Sorry? I'm completely on board with the fact that we have an image now, I'm just wondering when it happened, since way back when I posted that joke the last time there was nothing wrong with it. Guess I'm feeling a bit nostalgic about that and surprised that things have changed.

Originally Posted by FenrisWolf

this is like saying to your dad "Well you haven't told me recently that it's not okay to swipe cookies from the cookie jar and I've done it tons of times without you saying anything so why am I getting in trouble now?"

[POS Industries]

Originally Posted by Invisible Queen

Sorry? I'm completely on board with the fact that we have an image now, I'm just wondering when it happened,

When it became my job to worry about it.

since way back when I posted that joke the last time there was nothing wrong with it. Guess I'm feeling a bit nostalgic about that and surprised that things have changed.

I can see how you could read my post as challenging the mods, if I was really really stupid, but that wasn't my intent.

Drop it. Now.