Figure we need a proper joke thread - Page 4

Rejected Again · 05-19-2010, 03:30 AM

Just going to go ahead and Underail this tread, k?

Apprently this was a test answer from an Arizona University Chem Student.Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following.

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving, which is unlikely. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct..... ....leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'

Mike McC · 05-19-2010, 03:54 AM

[posts transcript of Bob Saget's rendition of The Aristocrats]

[pretends it's the most wholesome and inoffensive thing ever]

Token · 05-19-2010, 11:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Julford Hajime

unless someone else starts it.

No Pokepuns yet? Well,

Daimo Mac, The Blue Light of Hope · 05-19-2010, 11:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Token

No Pokepuns yet? Well,

I hate you so hard right now.

Julford Hajime · 05-19-2010, 11:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Token

No Pokepuns yet? Well,

Wait, you bring a pokepun turf war back up in here, and then re-use one from the last war?

Mike McC · 05-19-2010, 11:45 PM

Damnit, this thing was dead.

Don't make me rekill it. Just move the earth back over it.

EDIT: vvvvvv Okay that should be terrible enough to do it. Thanks!

Kim · 05-19-2010, 11:48 PM

If the Cho (Super) Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann is a giant Kamina, does that make it a Cho Aniki?

Darth SS · 05-20-2010, 08:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FenrisWolf

In Soviet Russia, point miss you!

DarkDrgon · 05-21-2010, 04:29 PM

How many guitarists does it take to screw in a light bulb? all of them. 1 to screw it in, the rest to say they could do it better

How many drummers does it take to screw in a light bulb? all of them, 1 to screw it in the rest to say that Neil Pert could do it better

You hear about the time the drummer locked his keys in the van? it took an hour to get the bassist out.

How do you tune 20 trumpets? throw 19 down the stairs.

how do you know a drummer is at the door? the knocks change timing.

bluestarultor · 05-22-2010, 12:21 AM

John and Mildred were getting on in years and were getting a bit forgetful, so they'd taken to writing things down. One day, it was hot, so Mildred asked John to get her some ice cream. He got up to go to the kitchen.

"You'd better write it down!" Mildred suggested.
"Oh, come on!" John replied. "How hard can it be to remember ice cream?"

So he went into the kitchen, and took a long time. Eventually, Mildred started to get worried. Finally, he came back out with a tray of milk, orange juice, scrambled eggs, and bacon.

"I told you to write it down!" Mildred chided. "Now look, you forgot the toast!"

05-19-2010, 03:54 AM	#32
Mike McC Time is something else. Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Wherever I am needed, I will be there. Posts: 5,065	[posts transcript of Bob Saget's rendition of The Aristocrats] [pretends it's the most wholesome and inoffensive thing ever] __________________ WHERE MIKEY IS IN 2022! tumblrs - http://werewolf.zone twitters - @itmightbemikey

05-19-2010, 11:45 PM	#36
Mike McC Time is something else. Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Wherever I am needed, I will be there. Posts: 5,065	Damnit, this thing was dead. Don't make me rekill it. Just move the earth back over it. EDIT: vvvvvv Okay that should be terrible enough to do it. Thanks! __________________ WHERE MIKEY IS IN 2022! tumblrs - http://werewolf.zone twitters - @itmightbemikey Last edited by Mike McC; 05-20-2010 at 12:13 AM.

05-19-2010, 11:48 PM	#37
Kim adorable Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 12,950	Anyone who gets the joke should feel bad. I feel bad for making it. If the Cho (Super) Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann is a giant Kamina, does that make it a Cho Aniki? __________________ this post is about how to successfully H the Kimmy

05-21-2010, 04:29 PM	#39
DarkDrgon Always Trick Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 978	How many guitarists does it take to screw in a light bulb? all of them. 1 to screw it in, the rest to say they could do it better How many drummers does it take to screw in a light bulb? all of them, 1 to screw it in the rest to say that Neil Pert could do it better You hear about the time the drummer locked his keys in the van? it took an hour to get the bassist out. How do you tune 20 trumpets? throw 19 down the stairs. how do you know a drummer is at the door? the knocks change timing. __________________ [color=red] Kneel before the Lord Drgon, or you will be knelt.