In this thread, we solve a mystery

[Professor Smarmiarty]

As you should all know, a few days ago a mysterious poster appeared, one Raptacular Haberdasher. At first I thought jolly good, we are welcoming here.
Until he laid this beat:

I've been here a day (as far as you know,)
But I'd love a new a new avatar, Nonsy, fo sho'.

A poke distinguished to intrigue, to taunt, to call up a mystery. For I believe that Raptacular Haberdasher is none other than some other poster in disguise! Searching the archives I have found a wealth of evidence!

Good luck with your computer, hope you keep it real...
...
Is he gone? Fuck yeah! Party without Seil!

Fifthsy, you can rap like Kirby2000 can write.

Both of these quotes imply an intricate knowledge of the forum history.
So I ask who is the mysterious rapper from the shadows?
Here is the first clue:

Why you gotta be assumin' I'm white?

Some self-concious postering I detect.

[bluestarultor]

Additional observation, the grammatical structure implies a male writer. (Yes, men and women do write differently; no, I'm not going to devote the next four hours to defending and explaining my claim).

Not that that really narrows it down much, but any elimination helps some.

[Osterbaum]

In a way, aren't all of us Raptacular Haberdasher?

[Raptacular Haberdasher]

Yes, I'm a man, and I've been here before.
I have an account, but I needed one more.
As for who I am, I'd much rather not say.
That would take too much of the fun straight away.
But if you must persist, let me give you a clue.
My name has a hint that is really quite huge.

As for why I made an alt, I must confess,
My reason is sound, though I was under duress.
I've made a mistake before that I wished not to repeat,
But I couldn't pass up a rap battle challenge to meet.

[POS Industries]

Thanks to the magic of abusive use of mod powers, I already know who it is.

And no I'm not telling you.

But I am considering banning said user's regular account and forcing them to continue on rapping until the end of time.

[Julford Hajime]

Frogman. Calling it now.

[Raptacular Haberdasher]

Originally Posted by POS Industries

Thanks to the magic of abusive use of mod powers, I already know who it is.

And no I'm not telling you.

But I am considering banning said user's regular account and forcing them to continue on rapping until the end of time.

Oh, dude, now come on, that's really not cool.
Y'know how I'd hate havin' to rap like a fool.
It's a fun gimmick now, but I doubt it could last,
But every post from this alt will have lyrics to blast.

[POS Industries]

Originally Posted by Julford Hajime

Frogman. Calling it now.

Naw, I'd have banned that motherfucker right out.

Raptacular Haberdasher, though, that dude is currently in the top percentage of forum posters.

[Raptacular Haberdasher]

Originally Posted by Julford Hajime

Frogman. Calling it now.

I'm offended, I'm wounded, your words hurt my pride.
You know I'm too suave to be that lame-ass guy.

[krogothwolf]

I for one approve of POS attitude to this new account of said user.

Goddamn Mob Powers!

I bet it's someone we least suspect. I bet it's SMB!!!!!! He's just trying to trick us.