So I wanna not crash you into the ground...

[Torque]

A bit about that... Many years ago, when I was but a lad I wanted to be a policeman. I thought the cops were the fricken' bees knees, as they say..
Anyhoo, long story short, I can't stand the idea of being a police officer, and pretty much haven't been able to since I was like..... 19 or so.
About that time I decided I wanted to be an air traffic controller.
Like REALLY badly.
I've applied every couple years, and unfortunately, due to the nature of the selection process, have never made it OUT of their candidacy pool into the actual schooling. Each application requires a written aptitude test, a psychological test, and then an interview, and I've gone through every stage successfully, only to not get chosen for the small class sizes.
Well, I'm applying again, and they're changing things up a bit.. There's now an essay question that you have to answer in proper format and I thought I would give you guys the answer I'm writing out and see how you think it'll stack up.

tl;dr version:
I'm applying for a job, and have to answer a question. Here's my answer:
Essay Question

In proper sentence format and using a minimum of 250 words and a maximum of 300 words please respond to the following question:

The commitment required and the dedication to learning is paramount to be successful in the training to become an Air Traffic Controller or Flight Service Specialist. Please describe what motivated you to undertake this significant challenge and what sets you apart from others who are interested in this same career path.

Answer:
I first became interested in a career with Nav Canada when a friend of my family's was talking about his job as an air traffic controller in British Columbia. The excitement that was evident as he went from stories that were serious to ones that were humorous really made me take a look at the career as a viable choice in my life.
Since my first application I have seen several control towers, and the control center in Winnipeg, and I was both stunned by the nature of the job, and excited about the concept that as a controller I may get to work with some of the most technologically advanced systems in flight control.
The Winnipeg control center was a fascinating place to watch and learn a little bit about what goes on in the day to day routine of an IFR controller. New systems were (at the time) just being installed and were replacing the older systems in use at the time with, as was described by the senior supervisor, as being the best in the industry. This was what finally decided me that this is what I would want to be doing.
I'm extraordinarily hardworking, and I throw myself into any and every job with a single-minded determination to not only do the job properly, but to do it exceptionally because I take pride in everything I do, regardless of what the undertaking is. I learn extremely fast, and I love learning new things and accepting new challenges. I'm a well rounded individual, capable of taking on new roles and responsibilities. I'm adaptable, with a broad knowledge base in many areas of interest. I hope that as a new candidate that you find these skills adequate to your needs.

tl;dr version: Hire me!

[Krylo]

You should just write in:
"I want to see how long I can take it before I throw myself out of the tower window in a fit of impotent rage and helplessness."

Copy paste until you have 250+ words.

[Torque]

I have heard that it is a stressful job.
I was a long haul truck driver, and now the supervisor of an entire production facility.
BRING ON DA PLANES BOSS!

[Magus]

You basically should watch every movie or TV show involving Flight Traffic Control Officer Fucks Everything Up and Kills 200 People before making this decision.

Breaking Bad Season 2 Season Finale is a good place to start.

[Azisien]

Minimum 250 words and maximum 300 words is the most ridiculous essay word count restriction I've ever seen I think.

They should just up the weeding process and make it MUST BE 272 words or you're disqualified. And you can only use the letter E 15 times.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

Tell them you mainline lots of mescaline so you can think really really fast and thus will be perfect.

[Geminex]

I think you spend a bit too much time talking about your past experiences, and not enough time describing the actual basis of your motivation. Plus, regardless of what else you do, I'm thinking a mention of the tremendous responsibility you'll be bearing should be in there somewhere. Just a "Yes, I am aware that there will be hundreds of lives in my hands, thanks for asking".

[rpgdemon]

"I learn extremely quickly", not, "I learn extremely fast."

Grammar is important

[Specterbane]

I'm going to try and be very critical on this, so it could be a bit long and tear it apart, but I'll try to keep everything helpful.

Let's start with the question. You need to explain "The commitment required and the dedication to learning" and you need to do this with "what motivated you" and "what sets you apart from others"

Remember that as you write your essay. Now on to the meat.

Starting with "I first became interested..." seems boring to me, if you want to draw the reader in just start with the story of your friend telling you about his job and how the stories ranged from keeping you on the edge of your seat to laughing out loud. Then talk about how that was when you decided this was the career you wanted to be in.

Next, DON'T JUST BREAK THE LINE. You've got a great way to draw them in with your first sentence, rather than snap them out of that tie the second sentence in with the first. Say something like "This motivated me to learn more..." or "After hearing those stories I went to see several control towers..." and to save space you can cut thing like talking about being stunned by the job and "...about the concept that...", instead focus on being excited to learn about and work with the technology.

I'll try to be quick with the last parts here.
-"..., as was described by the senior supervisor,..." can probably be cut
-"This was what finally decided me that this is what I would want to be doing." Unless is a translation issue fix your grammar and try not to sound so robotic with it.
-The next part's pretty good, but "I learn extremely fast, and I love learning new things and accepting new challenges. I'm a well rounded individual, capable of taking on new roles and responsibilities. I'm adaptable, with a broad knowledge base in many areas of interest." should be condensed into one or two sentences because they're all related to each other and that should also cut on your word count.
-Last sentence. Try to sound more confident and restate the main purpose of the essay here. Also try to tie everything together. Something like "From the stories of my friend and what I've seen first hand at Winnipeg, I know these skills and experience will be valuable to Nav Canada if I'm selected to be an air traffic controller."

That's my opinion though, hopefully some better writers will make more comments about it. Best of luck to you, and remember make sure the essay flows as one piece, don't let it seem like something that was hacked together at the last minute.

EDIT: They didn't get my neat-o colors in. Fixed

[krogothwolf]

Winnipeg is screwed!